Post by: 280plus on August 29, 2006, 07:12:33 AM
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg?" the bartender asks. "You didn't have that
before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." says the pirate.
"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" asked
the bartender.
"We were in another battle." replied the pirate. "I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
So the bartender asks, "What about that eye patch?"
The pirate replies, "Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of sea gulls flew over. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."
The pirate responds, "It was my first day with the hook."
Post by: cosine on August 29, 2006, 07:23:12 AM
(I won't needle you this time.
)
Post by: 280plus on August 29, 2006, 07:25:44 AM
Post by: Perd Hapley on August 29, 2006, 07:45:06 AM
Post by: Nightfall on August 29, 2006, 08:31:14 AM
Quote
Should I tell the one about Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton in an elevator?
Only if it also involves a hook in the eye!
Post by: K Frame on August 29, 2006, 08:45:46 AM
The bartender asks the pirate about it...
Aye, it's driving me nuts!
Post by: Art Eatman on August 29, 2006, 10:01:58 AM
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Short putz?
Art
Post by: Werewolf on August 29, 2006, 10:31:26 AM
Quote from: fistful
Should I tell the one about Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton in an elevator?
Please - by all means - tell it...
Post by: Perd Hapley on August 29, 2006, 11:33:17 AM
Rush Limbaugh is alone in an elevator, when it stops at a certain floor and Hillary Clinton walks in. When the doors close, there is an ackward silence until Hillary hits the emergency stop, rips off her clothing and grabs Rush, demanding, "Limbaugh, you big hunk of a man, make me feel like a woman!"
"OK," says Rush. He takes off his clothes, and throws them in a pile at Hillary's feet. "Wash 'em."
Post by: roo_ster on August 29, 2006, 12:21:07 PM
Post by: Werewolf on August 29, 2006, 03:50:00 PM
Quote from: fistful
It's an old one, but here goes:
Rush Limbaugh is alone in an elevator, when it stops at a certain floor and Hillary Clinton walks in. When the doors close, there is an ackward silence until Hillary hits the emergency stop, rips off her clothing and grabs Rush, demanding, "Limbaugh, you big hunk of a man, make me feel like a woman!"
"OK," says Rush. He takes off his clothes, and throws them in a pile at Hillary's feet. "Wash 'em."
Sounds about right... Rush Limbaugh is alone in an elevator, when it stops at a certain floor and Hillary Clinton walks in. When the doors close, there is an ackward silence until Hillary hits the emergency stop, rips off her clothing and grabs Rush, demanding, "Limbaugh, you big hunk of a man, make me feel like a woman!"
"OK," says Rush. He takes off his clothes, and throws them in a pile at Hillary's feet. "Wash 'em."
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 03, 2006, 11:58:38 AM
None. The lightbulb should not have to change.
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 03, 2006, 12:00:11 PM
One.
Post by: BobR on September 03, 2006, 12:38:10 PM
There is still time to brush up on your pirate ways before International "Talk Like a Pirate Day".
That is right, just around the corner, talk like a pirate day is rapidly approaching. Learn the talk now, impress all you friends and co-workers on Sept 19th.
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/
bob
Post by: Perd Hapley on September 03, 2006, 01:08:30 PM
Wanna ride bikes?
Post by: Iain on September 03, 2006, 01:51:36 PM
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Dozens. One to change the lightbulb and the rest to stand around and say 'I could have done that.'
Post by: grampster on September 03, 2006, 05:35:51 PM