Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: MillCreek on December 09, 2014, 10:13:16 AM
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http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/04/The-Sexodus-Part-1-The-Men-Giving-Up-On-Women-And-Checking-Out-Of-Society
Interesting comments about the cost-benefit analysis of marriage and children from the young male point of view.
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Wow. I think I've been unconsciously aware of this notion, but the article's concept is pretty stark.
I certainly think it's fair to say that if you are a woman who wants children, it is increasingly easier, even encouraged, to have them outside a traditional marriage context.
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Interesting.
I have taken note of various inherently discriminatory but socially acceptable groups/causes that are aimed at anything but men.
For instance, at my workplace they had bins for donations to the "Womens Employment Network". kcwen.org
I question; how would it be perceived if I started a "Mens employment network"? I have to thing it would be be decried as a sexist attempt to keep women down.
The tag line on the flyer was "Many women in our local community are seeking employment and economic independence; but they need a little help to get there." Aside from the soft sexism implied by stating that women (to the exclusion of men) "need a little help to get there", one has to conclude that "economic independence" implies independence from men.
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Ehh. I think the writer is more than a bit over the top.
True:
It is true that there is a strong perception that if you are a male, it's entirely possible or even probable to lose everything during a divorce. House, savings, kids, etc. I've also known guys to "drop out" of the concept that life's development is "get married". I've noticed a perception to have them described as "men-children", but the ones I know are pretty responsible folks. Java programmer, dentist, etc. They either got badly burned, or saw the financial/emotional downside to marriage. Most date or even have semi-serious long term relationships. I'm in that pool myself. I'm not opposed to getting married, but I do not remotely feel that I need to or should get married.
Not so true:
I have noticed that people believe boys are medicated more than girls. The last paper I read on the subject said ADHD was "underidentified and underdiagnosed because of differences in the expression of the disorder among boys and girls". I'm not really qualified to have a strong opinion on the subject, but I gather the science isn't extremely thorough when it comes to drugging kids out of their gourd.
http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-244X/13/298
True: Misandrists exist. They tend to get the attention, so they soak up the bulk of perception. They have disproportionate influence due to getting that attention.
Not so true: Pick up artists, men's rights activists and the more mundane "Make me a sammich" types are virtuous and enlightened. Plenty of misogynistic folks exist in those ranks, and they're equally as bad as the bad excrement crazy misandrists. Like the misandrists, they get disproportionate attention because they're seek attention.
Bottom line, people often suck and the world would be a better place if folks treated each other with decorum or decency. Like most things in life, I take the libertarian approach: the government should ensure a level playing field, and stay out of the way beyond that.
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"Marriage is dead. Divorce means you're screwed for life. Women have given up on monogamy, which makes them uninteresting to us for any serious relationship or raising a family. That's just the way it is. Even if we take the risk, chances are the kids won't be ours. In France, we even have to pay for the kids a wife has through adulterous affairs.
This quote is right at the top. I can understand some of the attitude when the laws and rules are set up to screw the husband when a marriage goes bad. I am not familiar with the laws in Germany and France that the quote was referring to. How many states here have alimony with no time limits? I know we have seen some cases in the US where a husband was forced to pay child support for kids who were not his.
It isn't new I guess. At the plant I started work at out of college, half the guys working there were on 2nd or 3rd wives and paying child support.
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Of course, I also doubt most of the men they are referring to have made some decision to "give up" on women so much as put it off and never get back to it.
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I can understand some of the attitude when the laws and rules are set up to screw the husband when a marriage goes bad.
I got out of mine with most of my stuff, most of my money(I didn't lose any, except the sizable chunk paid to the legal mercenary) , no alimony, shared custody with splitting all child rearing costs with the ex. I consider myself really lucky. It seems like just about every male I work with over the age of 40 has been divorced, most of them were much worse off than I am.
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I got out of mine with most of my stuff, most of my money(I didn't lose any, except the sizable chunk paid to the legal mercenary) , no alimony, shared custody with splitting all child rearing costs with the ex. I consider myself really lucky. It seems like just about every male I work with over the age of 40 has been divorced, most of them were much worse off than I am.
My divorce (coming up on five years-yay) cost me the price of a blue pen, as required by the notary a friend steered me to. Ex had real property she feared I would hire a legal mercenary (like the term) to get a piece of, so she made it as (functionally) painless for me as possible.
I'm not interested in doing the work or making the compromises a relationship would require, but the question is really moot as no real opportunity has presented. I don't blame women as a class for my situation. That said, I think there is some merit to the arguments made about gender division, just as on the basis of race and every other categorization progressivism relies on to create victim classes.
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Here's part 2:
http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/09/The-Sexodus-Part-2-Dishonest-Feminist-Panics-Leave-Male-Sexuality-In-Crisis
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According to Valizadeh, today's sexual marketplace represents a Pareto distribution in which "20 percent of the top guys have access to 80 percent of the best women," which has the effect of leaving women holding out for the perfect man, a man who of course never comes.
<snicker>
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hell, I have three ex wives. If things don't work out, you can try again, or you can just give up. For me, wife #4 has worked out perfectly for the past 25 years now. =D
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I got married to the woman I lost my virginity to (and vice versa). Nearly 13 years of marriage and 4 kids later I wouldn't change a thing. I realized probably 7 years ago during a time period of partial separation due to a relocation that I'm simply not cut out to be a bachelor anymore. In the unlikely event that I found myself single again I'd probably be remarried within a couple years. I haven't given up on women, and I won't. If I did I probably wouldn't live for very long. Part of the trick is looking for women in the right kinds of places. University probably is a good place to go to get laid (just make sure you get written consent, and set up the GoPro so you've got evidence of your innocence just in case she decides to cry rape), but unless it's a school like Hillsdale, or some other that still promotes classical liberalism, odds of finding wife material there is probably slim.
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Loking at the emotional wreckage of my marriage, I have absolutely no desire for the company of women anymore.
Friends, yes. Both male and female. Intimate partner? Oh. Hell. No.
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Loking at the emotional wreckage of my marriage, I have absolutely no desire for the company of women anymore.
I really can't blame you; the roller coaster is just too much after a while.
Seems like the "modern woman" is more likely to break it off after 4-5 dates because it seems too much like it might lead to a commitment, then complains about not having a steady boyfriend. At first, it was really depressing, then I noticed they're doing the same thing to all the other guys too. Now it just makes for a real bummer of a weekend every time I get dumped because things are going too well.
ETA: While I was typing that, I got a "it's been fun, but I'm not ready for where I think this might be heading, so let's not go out again" text from the one I took to dinner Saturday.
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Seems like the "modern woman" is more likely to break it off after 4-5 dates because it seems too much like it might lead to a commitment, then complains about not having a steady boyfriend. At first, it was really depressing, then I noticed they're doing the same thing to all the other guys too. Now it just makes for a real bummer of a weekend every time I get dumped because things are going too well.
ETA: While I was typing that, I got a "it's been fun, but I'm not ready for where I think this might be heading, so let's not go out again" text from the one I took to dinner Saturday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0 (NSWF)
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*sigh* :facepalm:
ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
*grumble grumble* the feminist agenda is destroying my life. *grumble grumble*
Seriously, all frustrated joking around aside, I think this article has merit. I got a feminist set of panties in a bunch when I used the phrase "feminist war on men" in a comment on FB about this article (Go me!)
Nothing can destroy self worth like being told you have no worth over and over, and have it coming from all sides. This attitude that all men are rapist keeps on going and in a few generations we're going to have men who are as neurotic about woman as we have woman now who are neurotic about the way they look.
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ETA: While I was typing that, I got a "it's been fun, but I'm not ready for where I think this might be heading, so let's not go out again" text from the one I took to dinner Saturday.
Aaand...matching (three pages worth of text messages, but same plot, plus a moderately veiled "I'm way too desirable to waste time on reasonably priced dates with you when there are rich guys willing to spend a fortune trying to get in my pants") rejection from the one that was trying to lick my tonsils last week.
If the two redheads and the hot cougar get around to it this week, I'll be flat out of reasons to wear deodorant. (Doubtful, though; I only saw one of the redheads for a few minutes in the last week, and the hot cougar just called me and kept me talking for most of the 2 hour drive Saturday to pick up the one that pulled the eject handle this morning.)
Seriously considering just tossing the date budget for the next few months in a can and using it to build myself a really nice gym in the garage.
Anybody care to guess where I met three (including both of today's rejections) of these four?
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Aaand...matching (three pages worth of text messages, but same plot, plus a moderately veiled "I'm way too desirable to waste time on reasonably priced dates with you when there are rich guys willing to spend a fortune trying to get in my pants") rejection from the one that was trying to lick my tonsils last week.
Look at the bright side- they are doing you a favor, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Its better that they treat you like that now on the 3rd,4th,or 5th date than 3 or 15 years from now. There are good women out there, it just sounds like the ones you are dealing with now are the female equivalent of the male PUA.
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Anybody care to guess where I met three (including both of today's rejections) of these four?
I'm game. Church?
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I'm game. Church?
The docks? Under a bridge? Free clinic?
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Craigslist?
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There are a lot of guys that say to find a self confident, respectful , loving, woman who has not been corrupted by 20 years of anti-men PC BS, look to other country's- Mexico, Asia, etc. not a cure all , but the odds might be better.
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I'm game. Church?
Two different churches.
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There are a lot of guys that say to find a self confident, respectful , loving, woman who has not been corrupted by 20 years of anti-men PC BS, look to other country's- Mexico, Asia, etc. not a cure all , but the odds might be better.
Worked for Al Bundy.
In all seriousness though, I would never date the 30 somethings I meet. If my wife leaves, I'm not even trying again. Those of you still dating have my respect.
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I know we have seen some cases in the US where a husband was forced to pay child support for kids who were not his.
We've also seen cases where men have been forced to pay child support on children when they've never even slept with the woman
Sorry for the thread necromancy
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We've also seen cases where men have been forced to pay child support on children when they've never even slept with the woman
Sorry for the thread necromancy
If you find a link to a story like that, please share. I am curious.
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If you find a link to a story like that, please share. I am curious.
i hear its quite common
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i was active in a strict church for about a yr and a half, really strict rules about dating.
Double dates or larger, zero relations before marriage. and try not to be alone with opposite sex ... things like that.
I actually kind of like all the rules, I wasn't very active dating wise and had practically given up before hand, now with
all the rules, i like ignoring the hookup culture ....
besides avoiding whatever legal and or other entanglements, i get to feel morally superior and have free virtue signalling >:D >:D
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And it's actual virtue signalling.
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And it's actual virtue signalling.
:angel: :lol: :old: :laugh:
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If you find a link to a story like that, please share. I am curious.
https://www.abc15.com/news/national/under-michigan-laws-men-may-not-be-the-father-but-still-owe-child-support
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Double dates or larger,
Other than a blind date, this one has always been a bad idea; people don't act the same in a group, even a small comfortable group, as they do one-on-one. Considering that the ideal outcome of dating is a one-on-one relationship, double+ dating is about like ordering an appetizer to see how good the dessert chef is.
Plus, invariably, members of the group will be more attached to one of the couple than the other, which puts the less-familiar one at a disadvantage; even if it's not intentional, it becomes a three-on-one interrogation rather than an equal conversation. I've been on both sides of that, and it's not the sort of dynamic anyone should be basing their life partner decisions on.
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There are a lot of guys that say to find a self confident, respectful , loving, woman who has not been corrupted by 20 years of anti-men PC BS, look to other country's- Mexico, Asia, etc. not a cure all , but the odds might be better.
If you marry a foreign woman, whatever you do don't bring her back to the USA. If you sign off for a foreigner to get a green card, you may be contractually obligated to support her for the rest of her life in the USA- even if she divorces you.
I am not kidding. Read here:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/andyjsemotiuk/2014/11/17/immigration-and-marriage-what-happens-if-you-marry-or-divorce-a-foreign-spouse/#64235e284ef9
This article says the support is owed for 10 years, but... it in reality it means until the spouse works for 10 years. If the ex never works... and sits around on your dime, you are obligated to support him or her forever if s/he never gets citizenship. Ha! Funny joke on you!
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https://www.abc15.com/news/national/under-michigan-laws-men-may-not-be-the-father-but-still-owe-child-support
Thanks.
Runestad says those DNA tests should make a difference. He heard the story of Carnell Alexander on WXYZ, and decided to take action. He says this year he hopes to pass legislation that would protect men from being forced to pay for another man’s children. Plus women and process servers who lie should face legal consequences.
One of the huge problems these days is the lack of accountability for fraud. The penalties should be very harsh. I would say the penalty should be based on the harm done, but it really should be a good bit worse.
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One of the huge problems these days is the lack of accountability for fraud. The penalties should be very harsh. I would say the penalty should be based on the harm done, but it really should be a good bit worse.
Perjury laws can and do apply. Problem? Finding a prosecutor's office willing to go forward with the case. Too often, they say "that's an issue for your civil case" and they let it go. In the civil case, the best the judge/magistrate can do is rule against the offending party, and perhaps contempt of court. Here in Ohio, Perjury is a felony offense (F3), which carries a lot more severe penalties than contempt (30 days max for a first time).
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Two different churches.
I was going to guess family reunion.
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Perjury laws can and do apply. Problem? Finding a prosecutor's office willing to go forward with the case. Too often, they say "that's an issue for your civil case" and they let it go. In the civil case, the best the judge/magistrate can do is rule against the offending party, and perhaps contempt of court. Here in Ohio, Perjury is a felony offense (F3), which carries a lot more severe penalties than contempt (30 days max for a first time).
Good for Ohio. I think people underestimate the effect on society of rampant dishonesty and cheating with little consequence.
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I'm probably going to be single the rest of my life, I'm over fifty/blunt/broke.
If an attractive gal hit me with a shovel and dragged me to her lair - I guess I would comply.
I don't see that happening anytime soon.
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If you marry a foreign woman, whatever you do don't bring her back to the USA. If you sign off for a foreigner to get a green card, you may be contractually obligated to support her for the rest of her life in the USA- even if she divorces you.
I am not kidding. Read here:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/andyjsemotiuk/2014/11/17/immigration-and-marriage-what-happens-if-you-marry-or-divorce-a-foreign-spouse/#64235e284ef9
This article says the support is owed for 10 years, but... it in reality it means until the spouse works for 10 years. If the ex never works... and sits around on your dime, you are obligated to support him or her forever if s/he never gets citizenship. Ha! Funny joke on you!
This may be true but I know at least 4 close aquaintences in my age range whohave oriental wives. Mainland Chinese I believe. They are all engineers and the wives typically don't work.
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If you find a link to a story like that, please share. I am curious.
The case I'm thinking of was (IIRC) in Florida
Guy casually knew a girl (there may have been a date involved), nothing intimate. Guy moves, girl ends up pregnant (and names him the father). He doesn't find out until many years later, and is on the hook for 10+ years of child support. Demands a paternity test, courts tell him the statute of limitations has passed: doesn't matter what the result of test is, he's on the hook regardless
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I can't locate a link right now, but I recall a story out of iirc Oklahoma a few years back. Where a lesbian couple wanted a child and opted to have it via, ahem, not so artificial insemination by a male acquaintance. Contract drawn up release all parental rights and liability, etc. Basically the same sort of agreement as one would find both donating and receiving for artificial insemination.
Later thrown out after the lesbian couple split and viola the poor sap is on the hood for child support.
Probably not the brightest idea. But I'm still a pretty clear case of the guy shouldn't have ever been on the hook.
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