How to be a real man:

[Strings]

So...people actually use those?  Huh?

Spoon does. She has a collection of them. And they make  dandy last ditch weapon

[just Warren]

Some heel comes at her she's ready!

[zxcvbob]

Are we talking about shoe spoons or melon ballers now? 

[Perd Hapley]

What's so modern about this? There have been court eunuchs for millennia.

Concur. I wish we could stop labeling the post-modern as modern.

[Devonai]

Real men do as they like without concern over what others think a "real man" should be, with the only absolutes being be yourself, be self sufficient and take care of those you love.

Hear, hear! (or her, as the case may be)

[Jamisjockey]

Mike Rowe just delivered a brilliant, succinct and manly fisking of the article

https://www.facebook.com/TheRealMikeRowe/posts/1071145119562297

[Ben]

Mike Rowe just delivered a brilliant, succinct and manly fisking of the article

https://www.facebook.com/TheRealMikeRowe/posts/1071145119562297

Heh. He's gotta be talking about Lowes and Home Despot here. Not that many stores have entrances and exits as far apart as those stores. I'm proud to say I always park on the exit side of those lots. :)

NYT: The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.
MR: A Man’s Man knows it’s wiser to park closer to the exit than the entrance.

[Jamisjockey]

Heh. He's gotta be talking about Lowes and Home Despot here. Not that many stores have entrances and exits as far apart as those stores. I'm proud to say I always park on the exit side of those lots. :)

Me too. 

[Scout26]

And FYI, a Man is not always a knuckle dragging Neandertal.  Occasionally, he will put on a suit or a tux for a special occasion, like a wedding or funeral.  Sometimes he will dress nice to take his SO to a pleasant evening of dinner, the symphony, opera, dancing, a play or other cultural event that does not require a man to deny his primitive side, but also allows him to show his refined and cultured side as well.  A shoe horn to put on a well crafted set of good leather shoes is almost a must in these instances.  

As an example, showing up anywhere in Vegas wearing a dress shirt, with nice shoes, slacks and sport coat will generally get you moved to the head of any line and treated better the people who show up wearing their best Harley/Concert/Retailer T-shirt.

Wearing nice clothes and shoes does not, in and of itself, make you less of a manly man...


http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/03/13/how-to-experience-las-vegas-like-a-gentleman/

[Jamisjockey]

Oh I agree. 

[Ben]

Oh I agree. 

I agree in the Winter. Not that I go to Vegas anymore, but in the Summer you'll only see me there in a fishing shirt, shorts, and flip flops. 

[Perd Hapley]

And FYI, a Man is not always a knuckle dragging Neandertal.  

I don't think the clothes make a man a knuckle-dragger. I can sip tea an afternoon tea and read Zora Neale Hurston while wearing my logger boots and a flannel shirt. (And I even know how to spell Zora Neale Hurston, without looking it up.)

[MechAg94]

NYT: The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t drink children’s beverages. He drinks tap water, wine, coffee, beer, whiskey, or iced tea. He does however, keep soda pop on hand, on the off chance a modern man stops by.

NYT: The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t think “seriously” about any purchase under $5.

I like that response to the whole shoe horn deal.

[Perd Hapley]

NYT: The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
MR: A Man’s Man doesn’t drink children’s beverages. He drinks tap water, wine, coffee, beer, whiskey, or iced tea. He does however, keep soda pop on hand, on the off chance a modern man stops by.

Shades of Ron Swanson there.

That's one of the more revealing points on the Post-modern Man list. It makes it really plain that he's just listing his inconsequential little tastes. Personally, I find Mountain Dew repulsive, and Coke to have a very flat taste. Us real men drink birch beer. 

[Hawkmoon]

Us real men drink birch beer.

Now yer talkin' my language.

Specifically, when I was growing up there was a sub-species of birch beer made locally called White Birch. It's not dark, like regular birch beer (which looks not unlike root beer), it's clear. And it's the best-tasting "soda pop" I've ever found. Unfortunately, it's not available in supermarkets around here and I've not found a source for it. There was a small, local semi-fast food chain that used to have it, but they recently upgraded to those new soda machines like in Burger King -- the ones with seventy gazillion flavors all through one tap -- and somehow they manage not to have White Birch anywhere in the menu.

Sad.

[Perd Hapley]

Birch beer, of any kind, is tough to find. The only place I've found it recently is Rocket Fizz. I think they have a White Birch.

Looks like your nearest Rocket Fizz is in Pennsylvania. Road trip!

[StopTheGrays]

One of the comments from the Facebook posting:

Rachel Schneider
 Sounds like all those who aren't a "Modern Man" aren't missing much! I think I may have more testicles than those guys.

 

[Boomhauer]

Heh. He's gotta be talking about Lowes and Home Despot here. Not that many stores have entrances and exits as far apart as those stores. I'm proud to say I always park on the exit side of those lots

Always on the lumber side/loading area.

However, they really need to post signs that it's a loading zone not a park and jerk off zone. Tired of inconsiderate *expletive deleted*s treating the loading zone as their door front parking.

[Perd Hapley]

Always on the lumber side/loading area.

Or or somewhere between there and the regular check-out lanes. One reason I rarely visit the local Lowe's is that they won't let me go in through the exit.  

[Ben]

Or or somewhere between there and the regular check-out lanes. One reason I rarely visit the local Lowe's is that they won't let me go in through the exit.  

Protip. Go in through the lumber yard (unless yours is laid out significantly differently than mine). :)

[Angel Eyes]

[Perd Hapley]

Protip. Go in through the lumber yard (unless yours is laid out significantly differently than mine). :)

Laid out the same.

[Perd Hapley]

Not sure the point they're making with the body wash thing. Are men supposed to start using body wash because women use it? Does the bar soap suddenly not work anymore? Works for me. 

[T.O.M.]

Since when does dressing well make one a lesser man, or one of the pansies they're naming "modern men"?  I wouldn't come close to considering myself a modern man.  I think having a SIG P232 I think of as my "suit gun" disqualifies me from "modern man" status, no matter how shiny my Florscheim oxfords are.