I don't know what to do. The wedding is fast approaching, and I don't feel like I can stand with him in good conscience.
You may not know what to do, but your conscience does.
Well, your friendship will probably be over within a short time after they are married because she will begin to really control him then. The first thing she will do is discard his friends for those she selects. You will be out.
I've had two friends with fiances, then wives, like that.
The first one, I couldn't tell you much about him now since I haven't seen him in about 5 years and I only saw him 2 or 3 times (despite living half a mile away) in the first 3 years of his marriage. This is a guy I was roommates with for a year a few years before his marriage. He couldn't even make it to another of our friend's marriages since it conflicted with his wife wanting to do something or other that day.
The other was a bit more assertive. He moved to another city for her. She tried to stop him from visiting Baltimore. He stopped seeing his friends in Baltimore. She then tried to go too far, she tried to get him to cut off his friendship with me (his closest friend) with his mother and brother. He refused. Within a year they were divorced.
Women (and men) who are that controlling can't deal with their spouces having someone else they are close to. Close friendships, even family members, are seen as a threat. They have to control their spouce's relationships and won't be able to deal with their spouce having good friends. Unless your friend is very strong, you will be out anyway. May as well try to talk to him, you have nothing to lose (just be careful how you put it).
If the father is like that, then there's nothing in the world that you can tell the son that is going to make a bit of difference. Your friend is heading towards recreating his parent's relationship.
If it was just the fiancee, he might be able to get out, but I'll bet he's never stood up to Mama in his whole life. It's over, man.
Too true
Mostly the question that I am wrestling with is: should I tell him that I can't support the marriage, and therefore can't stand with him and can't give a blessing speech, or should I stand with him in spite of the fact that I can't stand the fact that he's setting himself up for years of misery?
Before the Wedding: You say everything you want to say to him about the relationship. You can tell him everything you think about this Succubus and see how he responds. Be prepared that he may still marry her.
At the Wedding: You stand by him and honor his decision even if you think it's wrong because you are his friend and there to support him. It's not about you and your feelings...period.
After the Wedding: you respect the decision he made even though you KNOW it was wrong and act civilly and politely with his wife even though she's his succubus maximus.
At least that's what I'd do for my friend. Then again I don't have that many friends...
Get them an early wedding gift: His N Her Strap-Ons. It sounds like she wants one, and it sounds like he needs one.
Laughing my sick freakin' ass off!