I talked to him last night. I invited him over and told him exactly how I felt about the whole thing.
He told me how much it meant to him that he had someone who cared about him enough to say all of this to him. Then he said that he was going through with the wedding anyway.
Which is about what I expected, so that wasn't a surprise. Then I told him that I couldn't help but feel like my primary role in all of this would be to help him pick up the pieces of his life in a year or two when (not if) things go south.
And this is the part of it that weirded me out: He didn't even seem to contemplate the possibility that things would not need pieces picked up. It's like he knows that he's on the express train to hell, and is fully cognizant of the fact that he's heading for misery. And he's going anyway.
There's some part of this puzzle that I'm not seeing.
Well. As I said, he's a big kid, and I'm not his mom. So I am going to stand with him, and afterwards I am going to make a speech for him, not for them. Because there is no them. There's the hope of him coming out the other side of this, and it's my job to be there if he does.
Thanks for all your thoughts, all.
-BP