What's with the first-name basis??

[CAnnoneer]

Is it just me or has the business world become way too familiar? Just yesterday, I was renewing one of my identification cards and the clerk referred to me by my first name. What happened to "Dr So-and-so" or even just "sir"?? We don't even know each other, let alone be friends. The next one that does it in a professional setting will be "readjusted"!

John Cutter (Gangs of New York): "Have I had you yet? No? Then don't call me by my Christian name!"

[charby]

Probably happened when business causal attire became everyday for jobs that used to require suits.

-C

[The Rabbi]

Bugs the heck out of me.  Some guy, probably in his 20s, who doesnt know me from Adam, is on the help desk.
"Can I have your name?"
"Bill The Rabbi"
"Hello, Bill.  How can I help you today?"

I want to say "that's Mister the rabbi to you, sonny."
My grandmother moved to LA when she was about 85.  The movers asked her "now Gertrude, where would you like us to put this couch?"

[Old Fud]

The teenage and young adult help at my mother's retirement home are constantly calling her "Millie".   That offends me on SO many levels!!!!!

She was a school-teacher.  Their PARENTS never dared call her by her first name when they were going through her classes.
This is simply not proper respect.

What's worse is that they've got it wrong.
Her formal name is Mildred.   My father called her "Mona" --- as did all their friends.   "Millie" is that really fat lady from next door.

Fortunately, Mom is stone deaf.
As long as they smile when they say that, and continue to treat her as if they truly like her, she's a happy woman.

Hmmmm.  Which of us has his head screwed on right -- she or I?

Fud

[Guest]

Culture changes. I doubt most people do it out of disrespect, it's just how they are used to doing things.

[Perd Hapley]

Culture changes. I doubt most people do it out of disrespect, it's just how they are used to doing things.

It may reflect a lack of respect in the overall culture, I suppose. 

I'm an old-fashioned guy, but I'm only thirty.  I used to address older people as Mr. and Mrs., but I got too many wierd looks, so I quit doing that.  They usually said, "Call me Bill," or what-have-you.  I still do it at work, though.  My "clients" are usually older folk. 

Probably happened when business causal attire became everyday for jobs that used to require suits.

What is the point of the business suit?  Especially in the summertime.  Isn't the suit derived from European clothing and hence suited (pun intended) to European climates?  I'm an American, and I sweat enough wearing a t-shirt, thank you very much.  I know I'm a little wierd, but I just don't like wearing slacks.  Jeans and BDU trousers are the only thing I'm satisfied with.  Slacks fit too loosely, are too thin and the front pockets are useless.  As soon as I sit down, everything falls out.  Don't your four-inch fixed-blade knives, ink pens, change and cellphone all fall out as soon as you sit down?  Mine do.  Then the back pockets are so long, I can barely fish my wallet out. 

Permanently jeaned, here,

fistful

[zahc]

Probably happened when business causal attire became everyday for jobs that used to require suits.

Which was a great day.


Institutionalized politeness is pointless. All it does is raise the threshold of what is considered rude.

[crt360]

I think it's a new policy at some businesses to call you by your first name.  They try to make you feel all comfortable and trusting like they've known you for years . . . then they rob your ass blind.

I deal with a lot of older people in my work and I always call them Mr. or Mrs., or Dr. or "whatever their title is" so-and-so.  If they want me to call them Bubba or Thelma, I will.

The business casual thing is great.  Ten years ago, I wore a suit or slacks, coat & tie to work every day.  Now on the occasional days I have no scheduled appointments and don't have to go anywhere important, I can get by with some khakis and a dress shirt.  Aside from making you look good and covering a shoulder holster, a suit is worthless, especially here in Texas where shorts and a t-shirt are often more than you need to be comfortable.

[Perd Hapley]

Mr. CAnnoneer, sir, why are you trying to get us to believe you have a doctorate?  We all know you must demonstrate some modicum of intelligence to get one of those.

Wait, Howard Dean has one, doesn't he?  Never mind.

[CAnnoneer]

Mr. CAnnoneer, sir, why are you trying to get us to believe you have a doctorate?  We all know you must demonstrate some modicum of intelligence to get one of those.

Wait, Howard Dean has one, doesn't he?  Never mind.

In what, I am curious. Hallaballistics? Demagogy? "Soft" "science"?

[Lee]

I really prefer to be called by my first name, regardless of the age of the person using it (I'm 50).   However, I do use salutations in many instances.  I call my Dr., Doctor. 
I can't spit at work without hitting a PhD (there are dozens of them) ...but I don't know any of them who prefer to be called Doctor.  When I first started with the company, I used to call all of the PhDs, Doctor....and I think they thought it was pretty odd and funny.  It never even crosses my mind now.  The exceptions have been those who have just recently earned their degree.  After a few weeks, they realize that they know a lot about a few things and very little about a lot of things and they tend to become a little more humble. 

[Perd Hapley]

Howard Dean is a medical doctor, I believe, although there's no evidence he was self-medicating on that wild night back in the primaries.  Other than the obvious, of course. 

CAnnoneer, come on.  Let's share.  We're all friends here, aren't we?  Give us the credentials.  What do you for a living? 

[Mannlicher]

Ahh, ya doesn't has to call me Johnson! You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay, or you can call me Johnny or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me RayJay, or you can call me RJ... but ya doesn't hafta call me Johnson

( a tip of the hat to Comedian Bill Saluga)

I dont care what you call me, as long as its not late for dinner.

[Nathaniel Firethorn]

Hallaballistics?

Even The Mighty Google turns up zero on that one. Spelling?

- Dr. Doctor Whatsthisstrangegrowth

[Mannlicher]

Howard Dean is a medical doctor, I believe, although there's no evidence he was self-medicating on that wild night back in the primaries.  Other than the obvious, of course. 

CAnnoneer, come on.  Let's share.  We're all friends here, aren't we?  Give us the credentials.  What do you for a living? 

I met Howard Dean during the last election cycle, when  Dr. Howard Dean was running for office.  It was at the Pharmacuetical company I was working for in Miami.  He had an appointment with the CEO to ask for a contribution.  I ran into  him on his way to the men's room, amd gave him directions.  I swear to God, on his way out, he was lost, and one of the secretaries had to direct him the 20 feet or so down the hall to the CEO's office.  
The moron was walking up to any and all, sticking out his hand, and saying "hi there, I'm Howard Dean", and then stopping...............  There was many a pregnant pause.  One secretary had the gall to say "and I am not.  For which I am greatful".  It was a fun day.

[CAnnoneer]

fistful, I don't see how this is particularly relevant to the main point of the thread (formality at the workplace), but since you asked, I do hold a doctorate. You asked for "credetials":

Bachelor's in Physics
Master's in Applied Physics
PhD in Applied Physics

I am a scientist at a major private local university and expect to be appointed a tenure-track professor in the very near future. Which also makes you understand how ridiculous I find many generalizations about "liberal academia" etc., especially since my observations have been the complete opposite in hard science /engineering departments.

I agree with Lee. When most of the people you work with hold advanced degrees or are on their way to such, "Doctor" becomes silly and nobody insists on it. However, this is true only "within the club". Total strangers without a doctorate or workers clearly outside the club, e.g. secretaries, maintenance personnel, undergraduate students, for that matter any non-doctoral student, are expected to maintain formality. Exceptions are only those whom I do consider personal friends and who have allowed me to treat them with reciprocal familiarity.

[CAnnoneer]

Hallaballistics? Even The Mighty Google turns up zero on that one. Spelling?

Hmmm, that's my own term for a non-discipline/ non-science. You can spell it "hallah-bhallah-listics". Sounds better than "blah-blah-listics" or "habrah-kadabrah-listics".

I have another one for you that is known at least in my circle of scientists/engineers: "muggah-wuggah". Guess what that one means.

[Guest]

Clearly Cannoneer is far too important and well educated to be forced to interact with the general public. I think that Montana has a vacant shack set up somewhere that you might find appealing. You wont have to worry about the serfs getting your titles wrong out there.

Demanding false shows of respect are the quickest way to earn your way out of recieving any genuine respect.

[Sindawe]

Aside... covering a shoulder holster...

The ONLY reason I'd wear a suit.  Heck, I don't even own one of the infernal things.  Well, I own ONE that was given to me by my Uncle 30+ years ago to wear to church once.  BDUs and blue jeans for daily wear, fresh black jeans for dress occasions, with a nice bright polo or button down shirt.

First name basis?  Eh,  bothers me not when people use my common name.  Earned titles, like those for a PhD or for a Physician are another matter.  Though I do wish we'd use the honorific "Healer" rather than "Doctor" for Physicians and the like.

Bachelor's in Physics
Master's in Applied Physics
PhD in Applied Physics

Ahhh...so you're one of those who could never get his experiments to work. : neener :

The Sciences Explained:

If it explodes or smells bad, its chemistry.
If its cold and heavy, its geology.
If its green or wriggles, its biology.
If it does not work, its physics.

[Declaration Day]

I don't mind being addressed by my first name in most cases.

I, however, am very old-fashioned, so I usually address people accordingly.

The only thing that bothers me is when someone who has a PhD expects me to call them "Doctor" instead of "Mr." or "Mrs." when my business with them is unrelated to their profession.

[CAnnoneer]

Clearly Cannoneer is far too important and well educated to be forced to interact with the general public. I think that Montana has a vacant shack set up somewhere that you might find appealing. You wont have to worry about the serfs getting your titles wrong out there.

You have to explain to us what happened there.

Demanding false shows of respect are the quickest way to earn your way out of recieving any genuine respect.

Please explain to us how formality in professional life is a false show of respect. Do you think everyone who calls you Mr So-and-so necessarily means to show respect to you personally? Do you salute your superior officers in the army only when you happen to like them? Are you courteous only to clients and superiors you respect/like? Do you work within an organization?

[Art Eatman]

Some folks are missing the point, here.  It's not the formality or informality as such, in the workplace or elsewhere.  The issue is unwarranted informality.

I'm 72 years old.  I've always been pretty much informal.  It bothers me not at all for those who know me to holler, "Hey, Art!', be they teeny-boppers, young adults or whomever.

But a cold call from a telemarketer, beginning with, "Arthur..." jerks my chain.  I don't know him; he doesn't know me.  The important part of the deal is that they don't know me.  Same for sales clerks, cops, or any other newly-met people.

Formality is an introductory phase, with conventions.  It's part of the courtesy and politeness deal, to begin any sort of acquaintanceship--business or social--in a condition of neutrality and mutual respect.  In the workplace, you go from "Mr." or "Dr." to some lesser degree of formality as time passes.   Same as social:  You go from "Miss Jones" upon the first meeting to, "Sure, Darlin...'" at some later time.

Art

 

[Perd Hapley]

Clearly Cannoneer is far too important and well educated to be forced to interact with the general public. I think that Montana has a vacant shack set up somewhere that you might find appealing. You wont have to worry about the serfs getting your titles wrong out there.

You have to explain to us what happened there.

A lot of typing.  A little bomb-making.  I started to read his manifesto on the internet once - that sucker is long.

fistful, I don't see how this is particularly relevant to the main point of the thread (formality at the workplace), but since you asked, I do hold a doctorate. You asked for "credetials":

Tain't relevant at all.  Who cares?  It's relevant to you.  We talk a lot and occasionally we argue over science.  So, naturally, I've been wandering what your experience and qualifications are in that area.  Just so we're even, I'll give mine:  none.  Unless you count those two years of high school physics and a few semesters of now-forgotten calculus.  In my younger years I leaned toward math-and-science, but then moved on to the far more interesting world of history, politics, religion, philosophy.  Hallabalistics, I believe you'd call it.

[CAnnoneer]

history, politics, religion, philosophy.  Hallabalistics, I believe you'd call it.

Maybe that came out a bit too disparaging on my part. It is not a binary system, but a spectrum. History, psychology, philosophy for example are far more serious than "women's studies" or "Obscure-Ethnic-Minority-Literature" or some other PC-inflated non-issues.

[CAnnoneer]

A lot of typing.  A little bomb-making.  I started to read his manifesto on the internet once - that sucker is long.

Are we talking about the Unabomber who was a math professor before his logcabin-arsenal phase? I don't know that much about the case, so you'll have to explain to me why expecting formality at the workplace makes c_yeager equate me with a nutcase that killed total strangers by postal bombs.