Author Topic: Dear patient, who is being controlled by satellite (Read 2197 times)

MillCreek · « **on:** November 14, 2019, 10:17:35 AM »

Dear patient, thank you for the hand-written complaint form. It was a little bit hard to read, with the red ink, all caps, and squeezing as much material as possible into the text box. You are unhappy that my nurse practitioner did not give you a referral to have a MRI done of your leg. You state that an illegal microchip has been implanted into your leg. The chip is causing you pain and is connected to a stolen satellite from Fort Lewis. Someone at Fort Lewis is using the satellite and chip to move your body. The MRI will confirm the chip is there.

Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.

BobR · « **Reply #1 on:** November 14, 2019, 10:21:56 AM »

It is very simple, you can't get an MRI with many of the current implants and without knowing what his implant is made from there is no way you could risk his well being by placing him into a magnet. So, your plan sounds as though it may be the best approach.

bob

charby · « **Reply #2 on:** November 14, 2019, 10:46:40 AM »

Psychiatric MRI?

WLJ · « **Reply #3 on:** November 14, 2019, 10:51:44 AM »

Did you by chance get the freq and/or access codes for the chip? Asking for a friend.

RoadKingLarry · « **Reply #4 on:** November 14, 2019, 11:20:59 AM »

Slight thread drift Re: MRI.

I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?

cordex · « **Reply #5 on:** November 14, 2019, 11:30:17 AM »

Don't be too hard on him. He can't control that he came into your office. The satellite sent him there.

BobR · « **Reply #6 on:** November 14, 2019, 11:31:39 AM »

Quote from: RoadKingLarry on November 14, 2019, 11:20:59 AM

Slight thread drift Re: MRI.

I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?

Short answer: Most likely leaning heavily toward yes.

Longer answer: Getting a shoulder MRI following hip replacement is usually allowed, most (all) hip prosthesis these days are compatible with MRIs. I believe all joint prosthesis these days are non-ferrous metal, along with dental implants, plates, screws and rods to fix fractures. If you had any metal placed in your eyes, pacemaker, cardiac valves or metal in your brain you would not be able to get an MRI.

bob

zxcvbob · « **Reply #7 on:** November 14, 2019, 11:32:21 AM »

Quote from: RoadKingLarry on November 14, 2019, 11:20:59 AM

Slight thread drift Re: MRI.

I've got a titanium hip, can I get an MRI on a shoulder?

Titanium *should* be okay, but it might get warm from eddy currents. But maybe there were some implants that aren't; make sure the doc knows about it.

lee n. field · « **Reply #8 on:** November 14, 2019, 12:06:36 PM »

Quote from: MillCreek on November 14, 2019, 10:17:35 AM

Dear patient, thank you for the hand-written complaint form. It was a little bit hard to read, with the red ink, all caps, and squeezing as much material as possible into the text box. You are unhappy that my nurse practitioner did not give you a referral to have a MRI done of your leg. You state that an illegal microchip has been implanted into your leg. The chip is causing you pain and is connected to a stolen satellite from Fort Lewis. Someone at Fort Lewis is using the satellite and chip to move your body. The MRI will confirm the chip is there.

Ask her about UFO abductions.

Quote

Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.

Don't actually say that, out loud. She might actually try it.

brimic · « **Reply #9 on:** November 14, 2019, 12:10:07 PM »

Quote

Dear patient, you don't need a MRI. You need a Bowie knife, bottle of whiskey and some hot iron to dig out that chip. Use the whiskey for anesthetic and sterilization of the skin surface, the knife can remove the chip and the hot iron can cauterize the wound and then splash some more whiskey on it. Hundreds of Western movies can't be wrong.

A more modern solution is to:
1. remove magnetron from microwave oven.
2. plug rewire it so that you can use the oven case to control it.
3. turn on "high" for 10 minutes.
4. Rub it all over your body.
5. The microwaves will kill the chip.

BobR · « **Reply #10 on:** November 14, 2019, 01:13:44 PM »

Quote from: lee n. field on November 14, 2019, 12:06:36 PM

Ask her about UFO abductions.

Don't actually say that, out loud. She might actually try it.

Do say that out loud, video it and post to You Tube...... make drinking money! Win-Win.

bob

HankB · « **Reply #11 on:** November 14, 2019, 01:23:44 PM »

Quote from: BobR on November 14, 2019, 11:31:39 AM

. . . If you had any metal placed in your eyes, pacemaker, cardiac valves or metal in your brain you would not be able to get an MRI . . .

Depends on the metal - some metallic objects (like certain kinds of stents) are generally MRI-compatible.

K Frame · « **Reply #12 on:** November 14, 2019, 01:47:54 PM »

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

"MRI"

Look, I keep telling you jackwads, I'm not a health care service provider. I don't play one on TV, and I didn't stay at a Best Western last night, and I sure as *expletive deleted*it don't want to look at any of you.

Sincerely,

Michael R Irwin

Brad Johnson · « **Reply #13 on:** November 14, 2019, 02:17:57 PM »

Quote from: Mike Irwin on November 14, 2019, 01:47:54 PM

... and I didn't stay at a Best Western last night,

Well there's your problem. It was supposed to be a Holiday Inn Express.

Brad

MechAg94 · « **Reply #14 on:** November 14, 2019, 03:54:22 PM »

Quote from: HankB on November 14, 2019, 01:23:44 PM

Depends on the metal - some metallic objects (like certain kinds of stents) are generally MRI-compatible.

Heavy Metal.

castle key · « **Reply #15 on:** November 14, 2019, 04:54:11 PM »

My extensive experience interacting with people having "chips" implanted reveals that almost all have had the chip implanted in a tooth or the forehead.

The leg is novel, so perhaps true.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #16 on:** November 14, 2019, 05:27:45 PM »

Quote from: castle key on November 14, 2019, 04:54:11 PM

My extensive experience interacting with people having "chips" implanted reveals that almost all have had the chip implanted in a tooth or the forehead.

The leg is novel, so perhaps true.

MK Ultra never goes for the head or tooth anymore. They know we're on to them.

lee n. field · « **Reply #17 on:** November 14, 2019, 05:29:46 PM »

Back in the days I followed Usenet, there was the person in one of them called Nancy Luft, with similar delusions.

Famous enough to be remembered: http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2011/09/245-nancy-luft.html. It's them Roosian Sputnik forces.

WLJ · « **Reply #18 on:** November 14, 2019, 05:32:24 PM »

Ask him if he can get Disney+ for free on that thing

griz · « **Reply #19 on:** November 15, 2019, 08:30:24 AM »

Wear this, it will nullify the phycotronic rays, problem solved.

K Frame · « **Reply #20 on:** November 15, 2019, 08:50:14 AM »

Seren insists that someone implanted a chip in her.

She's actually correct...

WLJ · « **Reply #21 on:** November 15, 2019, 08:53:04 AM »

Quote from: Mike Irwin on November 15, 2019, 08:50:14 AM

Seren insists that someone implanted a chip in her.

She's actually correct...

But we all know who is controlling who in your case.
Seren commands you to go for a walk

Ron · « **Reply #22 on:** November 15, 2019, 09:39:56 AM »

I have a family member who is now on medication and doing ok.

When she initially started deterieating she insisted that somebody had put an implant in her dog so they could monitor her using the dog. Lots of weird stuff like "they" were switching the dogs food etc.

Her paranoia made her poor little dog a bit neurotic.

So happy they stabilized her and she takes her meds.

It was bizarre, we would be having a perfectly normal mundane conversation then she would just spout the various crazy stuff, sort of matter of fact without skipping a beat. If you tried to get her to elaborate she would get angry and defiant. She even accused family as being part of the conspiracy.

Pb · « **Reply #23 on:** November 15, 2019, 12:40:19 PM »

Can you refer the patient to a psychiatrist?

lee n. field · « **Reply #24 on:** November 15, 2019, 12:53:42 PM »

Quote from: BTR on November 15, 2019, 12:40:19 PM

Can you refer the patient to a psychiatrist?

They probably won't take the suggestion well. (But their long suffering relatives will.)

News:

Author Topic: Dear patient, who is being controlled by satellite (Read 2197 times)