Author Topic: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....  (Read 11222 times)

Scout26

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Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« on: December 13, 2008, 11:13:07 PM »
HERE are NINE WORDS WOMEN USE and what they really mean:

 
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ''you're welcome' (that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8 ) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F*&% YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.


You've been warned...... =D
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

RaspberrySurprise

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2008, 12:07:29 AM »
No women I shall be interested in will be like this.
Look, tiny text!

Scout26

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2008, 12:08:38 AM »
No women I shall be interested in will be like this.

Going "off-planet" to find yours ??   =D
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

Declaration Day

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2008, 12:15:48 AM »
No women I shall be interested in will be like this.

Oh she'll hide that side of her until after the wedding.  =D

cassandra and sara's daddy

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2008, 12:19:15 AM »
Oh she'll hide that side of her until after the wedding

too true
It is much more powerful to seek Truth for one's self.  Seeing and hearing that others seem to have found it can be a motivation.  With me, I was drawn because of much error and bad judgment on my part. Confronting one's own errors and bad judgment is a very life altering situation.  Confronting the errors and bad judgment of others is usually hypocrisy.


by someone older and wiser than I

Zardozimo Oprah Bannedalas

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2008, 12:22:46 AM »
Going "off-planet" to find yours ??   =D
He's either into hookers or Stepford Wives.  :laugh:

Nitrogen

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2008, 12:28:55 AM »
OH GOD DON'T DO IT!
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Remember. Never Again.
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BridgeRunner

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2008, 12:36:10 AM »
Phrases you will use with your wife, and handy definitions so she will understand what you really mean:

I love you:  Can we have sex now?

I cleaned up from dinner and the kids are in bed: Can we have sex now?

Honey, I'm home:  Can we have sex now?

Wow, I can't believe our baby is three days old already!:  Can we have sex now?

Oh.  Morning.  Time to get up:  Can we have sex now?

Our anniversary is this Tuesday:  CAn we wild and crazy reliving being 22 years old sex now?


Perd Hapley

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2008, 12:47:27 AM »
What are you people talking about?  ???

Very, very happily married,
Mr. Tactical Pants
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RaspberrySurprise

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2008, 01:37:20 AM »
What is it with people thinking that women are any crazier than men? Either the women where I live are saner or the guys are just as nuts.
Look, tiny text!

BridgeRunner

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2008, 01:39:27 AM »
What is it with people thinking that women are any crazier than men? Either the women where I live are saner or the guys are just as nuts.

Ftr, I definitely rank higher on the insane scale than my husband.  His only claim to nuttiness is wanting to be with me.

Nitrogen

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2008, 01:58:05 AM »
I'm kidding.  Mostly.

The only ONLY reason I'd not get married again is it's much cheaper to live single.  Women (my woman at least) requires a bit more.

All things shall pass, and this will get fixed too.  (She's better than she was)

Oh, and I'm sure there's plenty of reasons she wishes she never married me, too.  But we still love each other and we still want to stay together even though we both make it tough sometimes.
יזכר לא עד פעם
Remember. Never Again.
What does it mean to be an American?  Have you forgotten? | http://youtu.be/0w03tJ3IkrM

Antibubba

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2008, 02:50:50 AM »
Quote
What is it with people thinking that women are any crazier than men? Either the women where I live are saner or the guys are just as nuts.

No, both are equally nutty.  But a woman's insanity is usually much more complicated and subtle than a man's insanity.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

lupinus

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2008, 07:02:33 AM »
The only one for mine if the five minutes.  Shes in the bathroom and out in 15 minutes.  Comes back to the room and in another 15 minutes will be dressed blow dried and ready to go.

I'm the one who takes forever in the bathroom...hell shaving alone takes me upwards of 15 minutes.
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

seeker_two

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2008, 08:32:33 AM »
What is it with people thinking that women are any crazier than men? Either the women where I live are saner or the guys are just as nuts.

You just keep thinking that.....and we'll be waiting here for your post-marriage posts stating "You guys were so RIGHT!".....  =D
Impressed yet befogged, they grasped at his vivid leading phrases, seeing only their surface meaning, and missing the deeper current of his thought.

lee n. field

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2008, 08:55:57 AM »
"We need to talk."   =|
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Gowen

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2008, 09:17:26 AM »
Just remember, if you ever want to see her naked again, the woman is always right.
"That's my hat, I'm the leader!" Napoleon the Bloodhound


Gemoriah.com

cassandra and sara's daddy

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2008, 09:21:31 AM »
if a an speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
It is much more powerful to seek Truth for one's self.  Seeing and hearing that others seem to have found it can be a motivation.  With me, I was drawn because of much error and bad judgment on my part. Confronting one's own errors and bad judgment is a very life altering situation.  Confronting the errors and bad judgment of others is usually hypocrisy.


by someone older and wiser than I

K Frame

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2008, 09:28:13 AM »
No women I shall be interested in will be like this.

Better get on with that plan of liking the company of men, then. :D
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lupinus

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #19 on: December 14, 2008, 09:43:47 AM »
Quote
if you ever want to see her naked again
In 20-30 years I may have to use this as a failsafe  :laugh:

Then again, the light switch is probably easier.
That is all. *expletive deleted*ck you all, eat *expletive deleted*it, and die in a fire. I have considered writing here a long parting section dedicated to each poster, but I have decided, at length, against it. *expletive deleted*ck you all and Hail Satan.

PTK

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #20 on: December 14, 2008, 09:49:06 AM »
I'm quite glad that I tried marriage, realized it VERY MUCH wasn't for me, and I'm done with that for good. Casual dating for the win.  =D
"Only lucky people grow old." - Frederick L.
September 1915 - August 2008

"If you really do have cancer "this time", then this is your own fault. Like the little boy who cried wolf."

grislyatoms

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #21 on: December 14, 2008, 10:23:46 AM »
"Does this skirt make me look heavy?"  Don't answer, "Only around the body area, there..." :laugh: or "Don't wear a "Greenpeace" cap in that skirt..."

"Notice anything different about my_____________?" DO NOT attempt to answer this. Trust me.

"Turn the t.v. off. We need to talk."  A good answer is not "Why would I want to talk to you when there's a Clint Eastwood movie on?"

"I wanna fool around." Don't say "So do I, but I'm not bugging YOU about it..."

"Sir, may I take your bag?" "Yeah, but watch out, she bites."

"I need some new shoes for the party." "The blacksmith is just down the street..."

 =D

Long live Al Bundy.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2008, 10:31:49 AM by grislyatoms »
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cassandra and sara's daddy

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #22 on: December 14, 2008, 10:27:05 AM »
secret to being happily married?  do as told  right now
It is much more powerful to seek Truth for one's self.  Seeing and hearing that others seem to have found it can be a motivation.  With me, I was drawn because of much error and bad judgment on my part. Confronting one's own errors and bad judgment is a very life altering situation.  Confronting the errors and bad judgment of others is usually hypocrisy.


by someone older and wiser than I

PTK

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #23 on: December 14, 2008, 10:32:02 AM »
Quote
"I wanna fool around." Don't say "So do I, but I'm not bugging YOU about it..."

Zing!  :lol:
"Only lucky people grow old." - Frederick L.
September 1915 - August 2008

"If you really do have cancer "this time", then this is your own fault. Like the little boy who cried wolf."

RaspberrySurprise

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Re: Since we have a couple of members about to get married....
« Reply #24 on: December 14, 2008, 11:09:55 AM »
Have you guys ever considered that by expecting women to be nuts you subconsciously choose the crazy ones because "that's the way they are supposed to be?"
Look, tiny text!