Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Monkeyleg on June 08, 2009, 07:01:41 PM
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Perhaps because I've been in advertising for so many years, I'm particularly irritated by bad ads. Radio ads can be some of the worst, because the cost of entry is so low that mom and pop stores can afford the air time.
What many of these low-budget advertisers don't do, though, is hire professional writers and voice talent. They write the ads themselves and, too often, they try to be cute.
I can't begin to count the number of ads in which the voice "talent" (I'm assuming it's the voice of the owner, employee, or friend of owner) does a really bad impression of a character from an old TV show. There was one ad running not long ago in which the voice was supposed to sound like Jackie Gleason from "The Honeymooners." It didn't sound much like him, but I'm just assuming that's who it was supposed to be.
What's worse, though, is that the owner of the business assumes that anyone listening would even know who Ralph Cramden was, much less what he sounded like. Those of us who remember "The Honeymooners" are dying off by the thousands every day, and some schmuck is spending good money on bad air time.
A recent ad features a bad impression of an old one-trick pony comedian whose schtick went something like, "so your car died, and you had to roll your tires down the road. Is that what's got you down, bunky? Then stand up..."
I barely remember this comedian, yet the owner of the business is paying good money for this?
My guess is that anyone who would make an ass of himself on the radio is likely someone who people tend to avoid at parties, having learned that it only takes a couple of drinks before he does his Barney Fife impression.
Rant over. We now return to our regularly scheduled rerun of "Laugh In."
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b7BGBa6MTI
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My least favorite are the ones that do really bad foreign accents. There's one ad here for a VW dealership where they do a fake German accent (badly), and it drives me nuts. It's not that hard to do foreign accents well.
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We did this thread a little while ago.
Radio ads can be some of the worst, because the cost of entry is so low that mom and pop stores can afford the air time. What many of these low-budget advertisers don't do, though, is hire professional writers and voice talent. They write the ads themselves and, too often, they try to be cute. I can't begin to count the number of ads in which the voice "talent" (I'm assuming it's the voice of the owner, employee, or friend of owner)
Too true. I've never been in the ad business, but even my dumb self has figured out that radio ads must be dirt-cheap when they can't even bother to edit out obvious mistakes, like putting words in the wrong order. But the absolute worst has to be the knuckleheads who insist on doing their own ads. Yeesh.
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But the absolute worst has to be the knuckleheads who insist on doing their own ads. Yeesh.
Locally, the absolute worst are not those who do their own but those who have their kids do them.
One of my pet peeves, not limited to advertising, is the growing trend in mismatched subjects and verbs, one singular and the other plural. Amazing, to me, are the number of accomplished writers who would never dream of saying "There is six bottles in a six pack," but are oblivious to saying "There's..."
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I could rant endlessly on how much I hate bad radio ads.
We've got a local guy that insists on having his annoying little kids sing a jingle based on the Brady Bunch theme, then vamping into a horrific " BIG LOUD ANNOUNCER" voice complete with siren sound effects.
I'll never buy anything from that place, just because of the savage ear rape they call advertising.
If bad local advertising is annoying, big national companies with crappy commercials are even worse.
I'm looking at you, Burger King..... :mad:
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Taaahrs ain't pretty!
Ads so bad & brutal, they're a treat to watch...like a train wreck where nobody gets hurt.
Extra-special Mossad tie-in at the bottom...
I grew up seeing these ads on the local VHF station:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-zCM_8APc0
The Story (Click through for some splendiferous links):
http://www.affariedge.com/blog/2008/03/10/classically-bad-tv-commercials-when-its-hard-to-sell-something-admit-it/
Classic(ally Bad) TV Commercials: When It’s Hard to Sell Something… Admit It!
This commercial is a Central Florida legend, and it’s classic(ally bad) in a good way. Unlike other commercials you’ve seen on this website, Allied Discount Tires actually moved a lot of product with a lot of silliness, including this commercial from 1989.
Nowadays when someone is trying to sell you tires, you’re sold on several things: safety, dependability, and price. In the 80’s, it was a lot simpler. As the spokesman, Sam Behr, tells you, he’s the “Tires Ain’t Pretty” guy. That is the preface to our story here.
In 1977, an Orlando man named Stanley Hanin tried to make lemonade out of the lemons life threw at him when his failure of a motorcycle shop was converted into a tire store. After struggling to get off the ground, Behr helped him financially in two ways: he lent him money, and he became the voice and the face of Allied Discount Tires. Throughout the 80’s, legend has it, Behr and Hanin would have a couple of drinks and then turn a camera on to Behr where he would come up with some crazy ideas for a commercial. One local commercial after another was made, and a pseudo-legend was born when Behr one day blurted out on camera, “Tires ain’t pretty!” With that one line, Allied became a hit in Central Florida because the commercial was brutally honest. Tires ain’t pretty, but you need them.
Even though having Behr as a pitch man was making the business money, as time went on the commercials just got goofy (although not as goofy as Chuck Curcio got at Allied’s biggest competitor, Tire Kingdom). This commercial came at the end of the line for Allied with Hanin in charge (he sold the company in 1989), and Behr starts off with his brutal honesty. After a couple of martinis, it’s hard to sell tires. Tires don’t taste good, smell good, or make you look good, hence the reason why tires ain’t pretty. Then Behr goes off on one of his legendary, spontaneous rants.
You can’t have a tire taste test. Oh really? I’d like to see you try to have one! In a day and age where anyone can be famous on YouTube, I’m sure somebody would love to chew on some tread for 15 minutes of fame. Then Behr lets us know the guy installing the tire doesn’t get thanked. He has something here… other than the “thanks” you mutter under your breath after dropping $300 on a set of tires, when was the last time you hugged your mechanic for putting some tires on your car? But he comes back to Earth to remind us we need tires, and Allied is the place to buy them cheap. Then he lays down his most famous line ever, “YOU COME TO ALLIED DISCOUNT TAAAAAARRRRRRRSSSS!!!”
The cheese factor in these spots is high, but they were funny and like I said before they actually worked. Some worked too well, like Behr’s imitation of Oral Roberts in a 1987 ad claiming he had to sell 80,000 tires or he would die. Behr is now retired in Orlando, and he even had a daughter participate in season three of “The Apprentice”. Hanin is also retired, and has an estranged daughter who it turns out was a world famous spy for Mossad. Who knew all of this could start with a tire store?
So the next time you get tires on your car, don’t forget to chew on the rubber first, hug your mechanic for putting them on, and remember that “taaarrrrsss ain’t pretty”!
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Every town has its bad advertisers..
In Missoula we have Bob's Sew-n-Vac who goes off on a loud incoherent ad then ends it with THE SWEEEEEEDISH DEALS IN TOWN!
We have the cute ones where the business owner and his kid do a corny canned routine, then they buy an ungodly amount of air time. Every break... I'm looking at you Caras Nursery!
We have the jewelry store where the owner has a super annoying high pitched voice, ends every statement as a question, then drags his kids into it who obviously don't want to be here. Supposedly the guy is some decorated marine, but I guarantee he did not talk like that in the military and get any respect.
Finally, we have one of the DJs for a pop station who does advertising, no matter what company he is advertising for I make a point of avoiding the place. He is the most annoying person I have ever heard. I've met him in person and he is cocky and arrogant about what he does, if you are unlucky enough to be in a restaurant the same time he is his voice overwhelms all other conversation. His time is coming though, the radio station he works at is a customer of mine and the local manager is looking for a reason to fire him. A buddy of the DJ used to be the manager and was promoted to a regional manager so he has some protection.
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Speaking strictly as an advertising guy of many years' standing and some success: all you've got to do to get into advertising is be able to breathe, and heck, I do that part-time any more.
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"world famous spy"?
She's doing it wrong.
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...all you've got to do to get into advertising is be able to breathe...
Oh, I've met that type many times.
Auto dealer ads can be terrible, but there's some theory to that. It's thought that a dealer acting like an idiot in a commercial makes people think they can knock him down on price. And we've certainly had our share of idiots in TV auto ads, from Phil Tolkan and his singing Pontiac to Ernie Von Schledorn, a guy with a heavy German accent who ends every commercial with, "who do ya know wants to buy a car?"
There's one radio advertiser--an internet web development company--whose spokesman is so obnoxious, so smarmy, so irritating, and the ads equally so, that I did something I've never done before or since: I called the company and asked the receptionist to tell the head of the company that the ads were obnoxious. Every time I hear one of their ads, I want to go hunting for the guy and strangle him.
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"world famous spy"?
She's doing it wrong.
I dunno, she ended up selling real estate in Florida. Depending on which part of Florida, an Israeli connection could be helpful.
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The worst to me were always the ones that try to be funny, but are not all that funny. The problem is that you have to listen to that commercial more than once. After about the 3rd time, I am changing stations or switching to CD's to avoid having to listen to that commercial again.
I agree with the post above that the better commercials aren't funny as in joking so much as catchy or have a good memorable line.
The most disturbing I remember was a few years ago. There was a public service announcement. I think it was for telling your kids about drugs or something like that. Anyway, they basically had a mother telling her kid to go outside the door and knock down a wasp nest with a broom. They finish out the last half of the commercial with the kid screaming about being stung repeatedly. It was disturbing. No message is so important that I want to listen to that. They could have gotten their point across without airing the 2nd half of the commercial. That was the only time I ever emailed a station with a complaint about a commercial.
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Radio advertising: the reason the gawds invented MP3 players...
My favs are the "Stop smoking" PSAs. EVERY time I hear one, I start getting a craving. Even funnier: so does Spoon...
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It's not just radio. During the pre-show idle time, the movie theatre nearest me plays this ad, which seems to have been put together on zero budget, using the employees or friends of the owner:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsYpFUyYk2w
The best part is the little "dance" that the customer-guy does for the last three seconds.
You get to really enjoy the finer nuances of this ad, because they play it several times. On a loop. But the bad part is, it's not the worst ad they play.
This one is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5wZyHkyt8
It's darn near a crime against humanity, because after hearing that jingle four or five times while waiting for a movie to start, it never goes away. It lurks in the dark recesses of your soul, waiting for a quiet moment, like when you're getting ready to go to sleep, and then it leaps out and gets stuck in your head.
With regard to the person who wrote created that latter ad (to quote Hannover Fist): "Hanging's to good for him! Burning's to good for him! He should be cut up into little bitty pieces and buried alive!!!"
-C
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BrokenPaw, I think we have a winner!
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Best commercial ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdqAbnGs-fw
NSFW
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Here's one of the more annoying ads from the Portland Area. Local car audio store, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of his commercials makes you think he's high on crack and/or LSD..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XLuZqKWidI
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Nope the absolute worst radio ads are the 1-800-KARS 4 KIDS. It is so way over the top with sacchrine, it oozes from the car speakers. When it comes on I can't change the station fast enough.
The SOB who wrote that deserves to be packed off to Gitmo, waterboarded everyday and twice on Sundays.
***WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS WILL MAKE YOU WANT TO STOMP KITTENS AND DROP KICK PUPPIES. ***
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4l6KKZb_5U
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Best commercial ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdqAbnGs-fw
NSFW
Okay, that could have been a very boring commerical, but they made it into a very crazy but funny commercial.
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BrokenPaw,
What film could possibly be so scrumtrelescent, so magnificent, so towering in cinematic stature that you would subject yourself to those ads?
'Course, it helps us all to understand your warped mind. :P
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Here's one of the more annoying ads from the Portland Area. Local car audio store, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of his commercials makes you think he's high on crack and/or LSD..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XLuZqKWidI
I HATE that commercial.
It's one of the reasons I don't watch TV much anymore.
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I posted these in another thread a while back, but here they are again for your viewing displeasure:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5vHdbY81Do (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5vHdbY81Do)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M48HTxtjFdk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M48HTxtjFdk)
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BrokenPaw,
What film could possibly be so scrumtrelescent, so magnificent, so towering in cinematic stature that you would subject yourself to those ads?
'Course, it helps us all to understand your warped mind. :P
Star Trek. That's the one that I went to knowing that I'd have to face those ads. I'm seriously considering changing movie theatres because of the ads.
The first time I saw those ads, though, I was seeing...well, I don't remember what movie (probably because of the emotional scarring), but I was just sitting there, unsuspecting, when the Metro Pawn one came on, and then, in a feat of purest sarcasm, the other one immediately followed.
-BP
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This clown was all over So-cal when I was stationed in San Diego
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8aIegEWmU0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8aIegEWmU0)
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What film could possibly be so scrumtrelescent, so magnificent, so towering in cinematic stature that you would subject yourself to those ads?
Or any ad (besides popcorn) at all?
I remember when movie theaters first started running ads . . . paying patrons, figuring they paid to see a MOVIE, not commercials, revolted, and began doing things like throwing their sodas at the screen. What ad money the theaters made was eaten up by screen-cleaning costs. =D
I miss those days . . . we've become a nation of wimps. =(
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I remember when movie theaters first started running ads . . .
What about buying DVD's, only to get fifteen minutes of previews for upcoming movies? Granted, you might be interested in some of the movies, but it's still advertising on a product you paid for. Some of the DVD's also have public service ads such as no-smoking ads that really cross the line.
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What about buying DVD's, only to get fifteen minutes of previews for upcoming movies? Granted, you might be interested in some of the movies, but it's still advertising on a product you paid for. Some of the DVD's also have public service ads such as no-smoking ads that really cross the line.
DVDs that I figure I'll watch more than once get ripped to hard drive, without the puffery.
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Or any ad (besides popcorn) at all?
I remember when movie theaters first started running ads . . . paying patrons, figuring they paid to see a MOVIE, not commercials, revolted, and began doing things like throwing their sodas at the screen. What ad money the theaters made was eaten up by screen-cleaning costs. =D
I miss those days . . . we've become a nation of wimps. =(
Amen, I don't go to theaters any more unless it is on a date or something. Movie previews I expect, but when they started showing shampoo ads like I was watching TV instead of having just paid $9 to see a movie, especially after the stated movie start time, I got very irate and decided to never do that again.
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Star Trek. That's the one that I went to knowing that I'd have to face those ads. I'm seriously considering changing movie theatres because of the ads.
The first time I saw those ads, though, I was seeing...well, I don't remember what movie (probably because of the emotional scarring), but I was just sitting there, unsuspecting, when the Metro Pawn one came on, and then, in a feat of purest sarcasm, the other one immediately followed.
-BP
You need a higher class of theater, I've not seen those ads at the Regal near I66. :angel:
Chris
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You need a higher class of theater, I've not seen those ads at the Regal near I66. :angel:
Chris
Yeah, that's the one I'm pondering switching to; the one with the ads is the AMC at Potomac Mills. AMC PM's seats are far more comfortable, but a sore butt recovers quicker than a damaged soul.
-BP
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Some of my favorite ads: (and yes, they're actually good)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC9SX06U8xo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I07xDdFMdgw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mv5U0W8FDDk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmSCh5ZkMqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYiGpVGTU2U