I work as a welder at a landfill. One day, I found a small safe that a customer left on the "dump ramp". It looked like it was about a 100 years old. About 2X2 feet on every side, with heavy steel wheels on the bottom. Weighed about 300 pounds. Locked up tighter than a drum.
Curiosity got the best of me, so I hauled it into the welding shop and started cutting it open. It had external hinges, so I started there. I cut every exposed part off, but the bolt type latch wouldn't let the door budge. After about 2 hours with a cutting torch, plasma cutter, pry bars and an air chisel to bust through the bricks and concrete, I finally got it open. By this time, I had an audience watching to see what was in it. The inside space was much smaller than the outside due to the thick walls. It was empty, except for a small wooden drawer in the bottom. I pulled it out, and revealed...2 plastic buttons. Everyone chuckled and went back to work. Buy hey - maybe they were special buttons!
Now I know how Geraldo felt...