Today's Featured Humor : -) - Southern Expressions

[280plus]

We say "Dumb as a BAG of hammers."

My brother describes this kid to me this a.m. He says, "The kid is as dumb as a box of rocks, not even funny."

What did the kid do? He was trying to knock a truck tire and rim off of the hub with a 10 lb sledge. After a few attempts he gets real mad at it and takes his best swing. Hits the tire instead of the rim. 10 lb sledge bounces back and catches him SQUARE IN THE NOSE. Shattered it and the surrounding bone structure. He'll be going infor a little surgery once the swelling goes down.

[Azrael256]

Am I a bad person for finding the mental picture of that simply hilarious?

[280plus]

Almost...



Can you even imagine how bad that musta hurt? Unless he was lucky enough to knock himself out. I don't know, but I don't think so. Didn't get any teeth though.

[stevelyn]

Do you wanna shoot or drive?

I resemble that remark.

[SalukiFan]

We say "Dumb as a BAG of hammers."

Yeah, that's probably because we get our groceries in "sacks" instead of "bags" back home in Little Egypt.

- SalukiFan

[JAlexander]

Three of my favorites:

Hotter'n the hinges of h*ll.

Ugly as a mud fence.

Crooked as a dog's hind leg.

James

[doczinn]

Colder'n a witch's tittie in a brass bra doin' push-ups in the snow.

Finer'n a frawg hair split three ways.

'Bout as smart as a football bat.

Busier'n a two-dollar whore on nickel night.

[41 Redhawk]

If brains wuz dynomite, they wouldn't have enough to blow their nose