Hot sauce experiences

[AmbulanceDriver]

So the guacamole thread got me thinking about hot sauces (thanks to someone posting the link to the "religious experience" hot sauces) and I figured we oughta share some of the good, bad and of course, ugly experiences involving hot sauce.

I was at our local outdoor market (Saturday Market in Portland) one weekend with a bunch of friends.  We had wandered around to the different booths selling everything from silver jewelry to hemp clothing, and of course, lots of food booths when I spotted a booth with a bowl of tortilla chips in front and a wall of bottles in the back.   So I wandered over to it and started chatting with the proprietor.  Turns out he was selling a brand of hot sauce known as "Da Bomb".  I figured this stuff was just overhyped tabasco sauce, and decided to give it a try.  Now, up until now, he'd been dipping a toothpick for people in the different (more mild) bottles.  But no, I wanted to try the "real" stuff....   

So he pulls up this bottle from under the counter.  The label read "Da Bomb" and "Beyond Insanity".  Here's the offender if you'd like:  http://www.insanechicken.com/da__bomb_beyond_insanity_.html

Now, he doesn't dip the toothpick for me.  No.  He takes the toothpick and scrapes it around the top of the bottle, where some of this stuff has collected, dried, and become more concentrated.   But I don't think about this.  Nooooo.   Of course not.  I'm with my friends, this doesn't concern me.  I'm displaying dangerous quantities of machismo, for my friends especially the young, attractive, female variety....  (Yes, I was younger, and *MUCH* more foolish then.)

So he hands me this toothpick.   I think the only reason this toothpick didn't spontaneously combust was that I placed it on my tongue too quickly.

For about the first 5 seconds, I remember thinking "Hmm.   Not too bad...  Kinda spicy, but good flavor...."   

Then, it begins.  The oils start to disperse a little bit.   "Hrmmm.   getting a little warm....  Still pretty good...."

"Whoa....  This is getting downright hot....  I think I'll nonchalantly grab a chip or two, maybe try to absorb some of the heat with the chips.  That's obviously what they're for."

"HOLY HELL!!!!  MY ENTIRE FACE IS ON FIRE"...  At this point, my friends are beginning to become a little concerned as I start, quite literally, to drip with sweat....   And as I start to try to inhale the bowl of chips he has out there...   I'm breathing in through my mouth because the cool air seems to help a little bit.  Mind you, I haven't said anything up until this time, and now I *CAN'T* talk because the warm air going across my tongue hurts too bad...   I'm quite literally panicking right now, and every last taste bud I have is screaming in agony.  I'm trying to find that ice cream vendor that I saw earlier, but he's got a line 20 people deep (victims of the hot sauce I suspect) so I know there's no help there.   I'm now literally panting, and desperate to find something....   THERE!!!  An ice cream vendor with no customers!  I buy the biggest soft serve he'll sell me, and I proceed to try to quench the fires.   As long as I have ice cream in my mouth, it doesn't burn so bad.   Of course, I'm rather unintelligible with a mouthful of ice cream, and that whole machismo in front of the girls thing?  Fuggetaboudit........

NEVER AGAIN!

[Vodka7]

I'm very, very sissy when it comes to spicy foods--Wendy's not-so-Spicy Chicken is about the hottest I'll enjoy, and even then only under a decent amount of ketchup.  Tonight though, when I was making my favorite mojo verde salsa (inspired by the guacamole thread), I made two mistakes--first, I ran out of olive oil, so I used way less than half of what I usually do.  And second, after deveining and removing the seeds from the fingerhots, but before washing my hands, I wiped my brow.  I didn't notice this until I was about five chips into the salsa, when my lips, mouth, and eyebrows simultaneously burst into flames.  And since I have terrible eating habits, I didn't have any ice cream/milk/bread in the house, and sticking my face under the tap did not really do much.

Here's the recipe though, it's pretty tasty when you use the right amounts:

2-3 chiles (like I said, I like fingerhots, the friend who taught me the recipe uses jalapenos)
4 cloves garlic (I'm lazy and use 4-5 teaspons of the minced garlic in oil you can buy at the supermarket)
2-3 tablespoons white wine vinegar (my friend says 3 but 2 is more to my taste)
1/2 teaspoon ground cumen (I usually use a whole teaspoon)
2 tablespoons parsley (I just eyeball this one)
4 tablespoons olive oil
Salt

Toss it in a blender on chop until all the big chunks are gone, then liqueify for a few seconds.

[cosine]

Hot sauce... I won't even eat Tabasco. Too hot. I just barely like ketchup. 

(But how does the joke go... if you live in WI, you think ketchup is spicy.  )

[Dannyboy]

Experiences with hot sauce.  Hmmm.  When I was in the Army we used to drip MRE Tobasco into sleeping suckerss peoples' mouths.  It was kinda like being the guy that passes out at the party and wakes up with 1 eyebrow or with marker writing all over his face.  Of course, there's always one jackass that goes to far.  One guy dripped Tobasco into another guy's eye.  Wow.  Was he pissed.  Truth be told, though, it was kinda funny. 

I haven't really had any experiences with it myself.  I usually use 3 or 4 habaneros when I make my chili but other than that, I'm not really a spicy food guy.

[theCZ]

I got to spend some time in South Korea with a friend from college (who is S. Korean).  Just about all of their food is spicy, or can easily be spiced up to make it so.  I loved everything I ate, but I remember quite a few times when it would make me sweat.  I am hooked on that stuff now, I even learned to like Kimchee, but I don't really like any other spicy food besides that. 

[Chuck Dye]

My current favorite bottled sauce is the El Yucateco Salsa Kutbil-Ik de Chile Habanero which runs 11,000 to 13,000 scovil units, depending on who is measuring.

http://www.mexgrocer.com/3116.html

My favorite restaraunt salsa is made by Los Cuatros Milpas in Barrio Logan, San Diego CA.  Only available at the restaurant, which has been there since 1923, the recipe is unavailable:  I have tried, on and off, through 30+ years and four generations of owners, to obtain that recipe.

My favorite home mades vary depending on the meal they are to go with.  For flavor and fierceness, try Salsa Arriera (Mule drivers' sauce) from Diana Kennedy.


Pull the stems from 20 fresh, firm chiles serranos

Toss the chiles on a very hot heavy skillet or grill until the skins have blistered and blackened all over the chiles

Place the chiles, 1/4 small white onion, and 2-4 cloves garlic in a blender.  Blend to a coarse paste, adding just enough water to enable the grinding.

The faint of heart may tame the salsa by adding cilantro, tomatillos, or green tomatoes to the grind.

The adventurous can add cilantro, lemon grass, and galanga and get the Thai green curry Gang Kiew Wan.

[doczinn]

My standbys are Tapatio and Sriracha, but noting beats the dried ground chiles at Thai restaurants.

[280plus]

I ate one of those red chinese peppers once, coughed gagged and sputtered with tears in my eyes for the next ten minutes or so. 

[stevelyn]

Frank's and Trappy's for me. Tabasco is okay, but I prefer their specialty sauces.

[The Rabbi]

The best cure for something really hot is honey, btw.

I like sehoog, which is a yemenite hot sauce.  More like a paste really.

[Sindawe]

My day to day salsa is the Religious Experience I posted about in the quac thread (you're most welcome AmbulanceDriver).  Use it on eggs, pizza, chips, etc.  Along with that goes chipolte flavored olive oil which works better on pop-corn than butter.  Though not a hot sauce, I use a three-pepper humus on sandwiches instead of mayo or miracle whip.

The most devistating experience I ever had was with a hot sauce called "Hot Pot".  It had hempseed oil in the mix (hence the "Pot") and my friend Richard brought up a bottle to one of our camping/paintball trips.  Richard was always a crazy gonzo type of person, living the adage that "...moderation is for monks".  Liking hot foods, I sprinkled a bit of the stuff on my veggie and tofu kebob, expecting something like Pace's HOT salsa.

WRONG.

First couple of bites were tasty and well complimented the honey and peanut marinade the tofu had been soaking in.  Then the heat kicked in and my lips began to tingle while the inside of my mouth felt like it was full of molten lava.  Since we were camping and I was a Vegan at the time, I had no access to any dairy products.  30 minutes of pain and suffering till the heat went away. 

I've looked and looked but never been able to find the stuff for sale.  Since Rich is gone, I can't ask him unless I summoned up his shade, and I doubt he'd appriciate THAT.

I'll have to remember the honey trick. Guess it has to be JUST honey, since I know Mead don't work.

[Bogie]

My bud Doc must have no taste buds left... Or esophagus... Or stomach... Etc., etc...
 
He loves hot sauce. So I bought him a bottle of Dave's Insanity Sauce.

He announced that it was okay. So I took a finger, put it over the top of the bottle, shook it, and sampled a taste from the fingertip.

"Hmm... Nice taste... ARGH!"

Spent about 10 minutes with my head in the sink, and the hand-held going full blast...
 
No milk in da house.
 
I saw him take a plate of about a half dozen scrambled eggs, and splosh about 3 tablespoons on the stuff, and gleefully chow it...
 

[auschip]

I did something similar when we were in NO back in the early 90s.  Walking through the French Market, I ended up taking a rather large taste of Endorphin Rush (enough to cover the tip of my index finger).  I didn't run off, and he said I handled it better then most people, but I was still in pain. 

[erik the bold]

Awww, come on........ only 119,700 Scoville units?  (for an explanation, see: http://www.chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/scoville.htm

Step up to the plate and try somethin' hot!    http://www.chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/hothome.htm

[Brad Johnson]

Well, apparently too hot isn't hot enought.

http://www.hotsauce.com

They have one that is seven MILLION scoville. What's it made of, nuclear fallout?

Brad

[w turner]

My wife and I are big hot sauce fans and are more than willing to try new varieties. 

While on a tirp to Gatlinburg, TN I found a little shop that specialized in hot sauces, dip and chili spice mixes, BBQ sauces, etc.  They had a counter set up where you could dip mini pretzel sticks into different varieties to sample them.  Their rating system was 1 for very mild and 10 for more than the average person could handle. 
  I tried a bunch of their stuff with a few 7's and 8's thrown in and was handling it ok with nothing but a swig of coke to help wash it down.  Then I saw a small bowl of sauce with a sign above it rating it a 10++ .  It also had an accompanying sign that said "MUST BE 18 OR HAVE PARENTAL PERMISSION TO TRY".  I knew I had to try it.  I dipped a pretzel stick 1/8" into the sauce and started munching.  My thought process went something like this.....

Hey this stuff is great, good flavor and just hot enough........

Hey this stuff is getting a little warm........

WOW, now I see why it is rated 10++

OMG, I am going to die crying in the store like a little baby in front of my wife.......

MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!{sounds of wailing and blubbering)

My wife was tearing up she was laughing so hard and calling me a dumba## for he next 45 minutes while I sucked down 2 pints of milk bought at a neighboring shop. 

I have been sprayed with Freeze +P pepper spray and it didn't hurt that bad. 


W

   

[doczinn]

FWIW, milk actually forms a mucus-like barrier over the oils that cause the pain, making it last longer. What you want is bread to soak it up or alcohol to wash it away.

[BakerMikeRomeo]

The oils that cause the heat are soluble in fat. One really good way to take care of them is to just get a spoonful of sour cream and slosh it around in your mouth for a couple-ten seconds and spit it out.

I dunno if the fat-soluble bit is necessarily true, but I burned myself down with an habenero once and that's what my dad told me to do, and it worked.

~GnSx

[Chuck Dye]

My parents packed their own jalapeños en escabeche, loading the pack with all sorts of other veggies and olives.  After a few weeks of age, the hottest thing in the jar was not the jalapeño, it was the olive.  The European style olives, cured without lye, were the hottest of the olives, supposedly because they retain their natural oil to store the capsaicin.  Those hot olives, hidden in among the usual canned olives in a relish tray, have enlivened a few parties and nearly killed one.

[wingnutx]

I had some very unpleasant experiences with hot sauce when I crossed the equator.

Let's just say that I was relieved with I got hit with the firehose.

[doczinn]

I had some very unpleasant experiences with hot sauce when I crossed the equator.

Let's just say that I was relieved with I got hit with the firehose.

[wmenorr67]

Sure start a thread about hot sauces when I am stuck here in the sandbox and unable to get my hands on anything good other than normal store brands.

[280plus]

Tell me what kind you want and where to send it. If'n I can find it, I will. I gotta stop adopting soldiers though, my wallet is starting to whimper a bit. 

[Waitone]

Hot sauce thread always make me remember the story of the chili cook-off judge.
Old but funny.
http://www.bigdaddyskitchen.com/Tall%20Tales%20and%20Anecdotes/Stories/The%20Chili%20Contest.htm

[Mannlicher]

you want hot sauce?  Try this one.  I  won several awards in Miami with it.
It is fruity, and quite hot. 

Mango Madness Hot Sauce

A dozen or so Habanera peppers, stems off, cut into quarters, with seeds
One large white onion diced
4 cloves garlic, crushed
One lemon, cut in half squeezed, zest the lemon, and add zest and lemon
Three carrots grated
Flesh of one ripe mango, chopped
Salt to taste
Two cups White Wine Vinegar
Two cups water


In a heavy, non reactive pan, bring the ingredients to a boil, and reduce heat to simmer, for 45 min.
Remove, and cool.  Remove the lemons.  Place in a blender and process until smooth
Strain, and blend again.
Place sauce back in the pan, and heat until reduced by one third

Cool, and bottle.