I got back yesterday from helping a friend move from OKC to Denver. Long trip, that. Three days. It was going to be an easy two days. The plan changed.
First off, UHaul sucks. I wasn't angry about the transmission falling out of the truck. I wasn't angry about having to stop in Oakwood, Oklahoma to call them. I wasn't even all that angry about having to wait two hours for the mechanic. I was, however, angry about the idiot on the phone who wasn't smart enough to read a frappin' map. It took me an hour to explain where we were. Turns out the mechanic knew exactly where we were. Why they couldn't ask him to begin with...
When I had to unload the truck into the new truck in Woodward, in the 100 degree heat of the day, I was juuuuust about ready to snap. Luckily, nobody crossed me.
Second, 120 years ago, Dodge City, KS was nothing but a railhead and a bunch of feedlots. Lo and behold, 120 years later, Dodge City is a railhead, a bunch of feedlots, and a Subway. Oh, and a construction zone. I was already torqued off about having to disarm at the border, but the driving lane that was actually narrower than my truck through town was the last straw. I officially hate Kansas. The whole state can burn down to the core of the Earth, and I wouldn't give a flyin' flip. Kansas is only there to keep Oklahoma from crashing into Nebraska. Oh well, it's a Yankee state anyway. Oddly, I didn't passionately hate Kansas until I was North of the river... keep that in mind for a minute...
So, we stop at the Best Western Cow Palace Inn in Lamar, CO. The Lamar PD doesn't care if you open carry walking around town. I tested it. I was stopped by an officer who wanted to know what kind of gun I had. Nice guy. Colorado ain't bad. We found an eatin' joint, had some dinner, and then walked back to the hotel. It was a nice evening, and I had ended up with a non-smoking room, so I thought I might walk around a little bit and smoke a pipe.
Turns out that there was some kind of huntin' dog convention going on. I must've seen thirty trucks with those kennel things built into the bed. Labs everywhere. I like labs, so I thought I might go play, too. Mind you, I'm open carrying, and all these men (and dogs) are hunters. They see a gun on my hip, and all want to come talk guns with me. I'm thinking this might be a real good evening. Friendly dogs, good conversation with guys like us, and a nice Virginia blend.
Except that I'm a smartass. Usually I control it pretty well, but when I'm tired, as Dionysusigma can tell you, things slip. One fellow asks me where I'm from. I told him Dallas.
"Well, that's quite a drive from Texas!"
Remember what I said about the river? The
Arkansas River. The Arkansas River that runs just North of US50... US50, the highway that meets US287 in Lamar, CO... Anybody remember their Texas History class from middle school?
"Like hell! River ain't but a hundred yards thataway, but I haven't left yet!"
Come to find out, my grandfather is no longer welcome in the state of Kansas for a similar remark about 30 years ago.
So, the next morning, we fuel up and leave Texas
The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful, except for our little jaunt down Colorado 86. We drove it between Limon and Elizabeth. Bee-yoo-tee-ful road, that is. Colorado has cattle like I've never seen. They're simply enormous. That, and the antelope. I think I counted fifty of them sitting on hilltops looking at the highway. It's enough to make a Texan mighty hungry. I got to wondering what a hunting license goes for in Colorado.
I might just have to go back up there for a visit sometime. Going to bring a rifle with me when I do.
