Historiographical pet peeves

[Perd Hapley]

As a Bible-beating, religious right, MAGA Republican, I’m not supposed to say this, but I am getting a little tired of hearing (or reading) people say “America was founded by men and women fleeing religious persecution.”

It may be a true statement, but it tends to mislead. One could likewise say, truthfully, that America was founded by slave-owners, but that also tends to mislead. Both claims exclude more truth than they include. “Slave-owner” describes many, but not all, of those who drafted our founding documents, and built our early government. “Religious refugee” describes many, but not all, of those who came to the 13 colonies, or immigrated to early America.

Some religious people I know seem to believe that the American founding went like this:

Columbus brings the Pilgrims across in the Mayflower
The Pilgrims found 13 colonies
Icky taxes
Independence!
Minutemen snipers shoot the British soldiers as they mill around, drinking tea with extended pinky fingers.
As the British retreat across the Red Sea, God smites them with a great wave.
Yay!

What are your peeves?

[JN01]

According to the 1619 Project, America was founded by white people to perpetuate slavery or something. Much of our view of history is either misconstrued or oversimplified.

Some of the colonists were exiled criminals who probably didn't give much thought to religion.

[K Frame]

My biggest one is, and will always be, that the "Civil War wasn't about slavery."

[WLJ]

I have a metric load
But off the top of head

Vikings had horns on their helmets
Cleopatra was black
People up to the time of Columbus thought the world was flat

[Devonai]

The "Pilgrims" were headed toward the Hudson River, got turned around the southeast corner of Cape Cod by rough/shallow water, ended up in Provincetown Harbor for 5 weeks, before relocating to present-day Plymouth and deciding there to establish a permanent colony.

[Bogie]

I see So Damn Many people who are glorifying Egyptian culture, and even probably assuming that they are reincarnated Egyptian royalty (there are t-shirts that claim that!), that I Really Need To Work to not say *expletive deleted*it about that whole Egyptian slavery thing while at work.

[K Frame]

I have a metric load
But off the top of head

Vikings had horns on their helmets
Cleopatra was black
People up to the time of Columbus thought the world was flat

Jesus... everyone knows that Cleopatra had horns and Vikings were black!

WTF are schools teaching these days?

[HankB]

Jesus... everyone knows that Cleopatra had horns and Vikings were black!

WTF are schools teaching these days?

Of course vikings (or at least, Norsemen) were black and had horns on their helmets - we have pictures!

[Pb]

White people invented slavery.

Every major civilization that I have ever heard of practiced slavery for almost the entirety of human civilization.  Abolition of slavery was finally successful over most of the world do to the actions of white Western Christians, primarily the British.  The absence of slavery is a historical aberration.

People who owned slaves were evil.

Are they also damning the millions of Africans, Arabs, American Indians, Asians, etc who owned slaves over the course of millennia?

[HankB]

. . . Are they also damning the millions of Africans, Arabs, American Indians, Asians, etc who owned slaves over the course of millennia?

How about the ones who still do?

Don't forget that so many slaves who died on slave ships were thrown overboard while crossing the Atlantic, even today, centuries later, sharks are still swimming the route.
Of course Cleopatra was black - aren't all Macedonian Greeks?
The Conquistadors forced the peaceful, idyllic Aztecs to cut the hearts out of captives with stone knives as sacrifices to Spain.
Fred Flintstone's car and cavemen's campfires caused early global warming that melted the glaciers.
White women who wear hoop earrings are culturally appropriating Black culture. This includes Roman women 2000 years ago and Sumerians some 2500 years before the Romans.

[Perd Hapley]

According to the 1619 Project, America was founded by white people to perpetuate slavery or something.

The woke seem unable to see the lunacy of suggesting that white Europeans based their whole culture(s), not on what would further their own interests (or would glorify God, etc), but on being mean to people that live very far away.

[WLJ]

The natives of  ________ (insert wherever) were living in complete and total harmony with each other and the land until the white man came along and ruin everything.

[Pb]

The Second Amendment was written to preserve slavery.

That is one of the latest attacks on gun rights.  In addition to having zero evidence in support of this idea, several abolitionist states adopted RKBA provisions in their state constitutions early on... to preserve the slavery that they did not have, apparently.

[Tuco]

Stonehenge was built by the dinosaurs

[MechAg94]

The Second Amendment was written to preserve slavery.

That is one of the latest attacks on gun rights.  In addition to having zero evidence in support of this idea, several abolitionist states adopted RKBA provisions in their state constitutions early on... to preserve the slavery that they did not have, apparently.

That and the some of the first gun control in the US was enacted because people were scared of slaves with guns. 

[MechAg94]

Stonehenge was built by the dinosaurs

Now that is something I would like to see if you come across it again.

[HankB]

Today's BATF has its roots dating back to Ancient Rome, when Emperor Caligula created the Bureau of Spirits, Smokes, and Spears to help keep the plebeians in line.

[Perd Hapley]

The Great Party Switch is another myth that needs to die, though it seems to have been overtaken by a common misconception that the parties were "switched" from the beginning.

http://tps1.ning.com/forum/topics/race-baiting-rangel-says-some-republicans-think-they-won-the-civi

[Perd Hapley]

Ever notice how Columbus "didn't really discover America," but still gets the blame for getting Evil White People to show up here?

[WLJ]

AR-10/15s are Direct Impingement

[zahc]

The treaty of Versailles pinned guilt on Germany and imposed crushing reparations which lead/contributed to the rise of the nazis and to the second war. When in fact it didn't impose any unreasonable guilt, the reparations were not crushing, but pretty reasonable, and Germany never paid them anyway, so they couldn't have been crushing or lead to the next war.

[Perd Hapley]

The 3/5 clause is everybody's favorite part of US history to get wrong.

[gunsmith]

the second amendment was for muskets only
( the people who say this still will put you in prison for carrying a musket in times square )

[Bogie]

I'm really tired of racist people who "cannot be racist."

[WLJ]

The treaty of Versailles pinned guilt on Germany and imposed crushing reparations which lead/contributed to the rise of the nazis and to the second war. When in fact it didn't impose any unreasonable guilt, the reparations were not crushing, but pretty reasonable, and Germany never paid them anyway, so they couldn't have been crushing or lead to the next war.

TIK has been doing some YT videos on that showing that the reparations were actually rather mild.
IIRC The Great War Channel has some too.