Wait, WHAT?
We want these men to go out and kill and destroy things and you want them to be "civilized"!??
I'm sorry, I don't want men in the military worrying about the crap that most people have to do in our handcuffed society.
I want them to worry about killing the enemy and avoiding being killed themselves. Period.
But of course, we need a "kinder, gentler" military. It's only civilized, of course.
I think you do want soldiers to serve in an environment that is not totally different, in some ways, from civilian life, don't you? You are taking civilians, making them soldiers, then most of them go back to civilian life eventually. Having an environment where 19 year old kids spend a few tours without any regard to being 'civilized' sounds like a bad idea. They have enough to worry about without creating new problems with reintegration once they are out.
I agree that the rules should be different, they have to be. But they can’t be 180 degrees off either.
The last thing we need is for some front line troops to come back from a 12 hour mission, start unloading the gear out of their ASV and then when some NCO walks up and says he needs 4 privates for latrine cleanup, if one of them says something like "this is gay"; he's standing in front of some Sergeant Major or Colonel getting docked pay because some fobbit got upset at his "hate speech". That crap already happens with regards to females, and it's ####ing stupid. That's not a slight against females being capable of serving. It IS criticism of all the touchy feely "don't offend anyone" attitude that is part and parcel with trying to be more inclusive or politically correct. Real front line soldiers are being hampered from doing their duties and even being punished because people get upset of trivial crap like that. We don't need it anymore. Bottom line, 100% of a soldier's focus needs to be on avoiding stepping on IEDs, and not avoiding stepping on some overly sensitive person's toes.
I'm totally fine with homosexuals being in the military. But the moment even one squad's combat effectiveness is lessened because they have to be concerned with a homosexual's feelings of being welcome, it's not worth it. This is combat. Your feelings are not a primary concern, or even secondary. Or tertiary for that matter. Your emotions and how welcome you feel should rank about 59,457 out of 60,000 in a list of priorities for a fighting force.
Two things. First, it doesn't sound like your problem is with DADT, it is with the way the military enforces interpersonal discipline. Aren't those separate issues? Why would issues with homosexuality be any different than the sexism/racism/religion/etc. issues that the military already has systems in place for?
Others have said it very well…homosexuals already serve in the military. The military has not collapsed. Why not remove the axe over their heads and treat them with the same discipline that seems to be working for everyone else?
Second, I am not a military man but I imagine the emotional state of your fighting force actually is rather important isn’t it? I could be wrong, but I doubt “rub some dirt in it” is a good long term policy for the mental health of soldiers on the battlefield.