When I became interested in the military, and got accepted at West Point, I was lucky enough to have friends whose fathers had all served as enlisted, many with combat time in Viet Nam. They taught me that a good officer was one that led from the front, not the back. You got respect by giving respect, and by being willing and able to do what you tell your troops to do. Go to bat for them when called for, stick your neck in the noose for them as necessary, and you'll get their support. When I got to the academy, I found that the prior service guys were exactly that way, and the rest were mainly asshats who enjoyed the hazing/harassing/yelling for the sake of doing it, not because it was necessary.
When I switch grey for green, I was lucky enough to get put with senior NCO's that I listened to, and just like I was told prior, I gave respect and got it back. Problem? Yep, I didn't play well with the other O's. I passed on a round of golf to go shooting with the guys. Went to unofficial unit cookouts instead of the CO's wife's charity event. Drank beer and vodka straight up instead of martinis.
Promotion times came and went. Switched to Reserved and crawled up to O-3, and saw that with the end of the Cold War, cuts were imminent, so I took my leave.
My only regret was that I didn't try Nat. Guard. Some of those guys I trained with hat their sh1t straight, including some of the senior brass. Working in the private sector kept many heads on straight.