Armed Polite Society
Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: Kingcreek on June 27, 2022, 09:05:23 AM
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I guess I always liked the more traditional weddings. Serious about the ceremony and the commitment.
This was a little different. An hour or so outside of the twin cities can be pretty "country".
My brother in law wanted to bet me that big 4x4 trucks with lift kits and big tires would outnumber other passenger vehicles. He was off by not much but would have won had it not been nice enough weather for motorcycles. We knew aforehand that it would be casual, an outdoor wedding and reception. We arrived and gathered around wooden wire spool tables. Beer already available and being consumed. Hay racks pulled by tractors out to a shaded glen set up for the ceremony. Very casual but nice. Hay rack conveyance back to the barn and tent where the part really got going. Some serious shitfacery happenening, maybe some recreational drugs somewhere out of sight (none for me thanks).
We left when it started getting loud and wild but not before spotting my first Minnesota ice fishing tattoo. Lots of skin ink on display but the one was pine trees and ice with a hole and caught fish on the ice and some yet uncaught swimming below.
People watching is good entertainment and can also be educational.
Oh and the groomsmen booteniers were little sprigs of flowers in 30.06 cases. They all had beards and wore jeans and boots. There were no gunshots by the time we left but wouldn't be surprised if they just hadn't got to that part yet.
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I wonder what the middle 1800s folks would think of my parent's wedding in 1971. :old:
They had a small Catholic church wedding followed by a reception in the church basement with family and friends.
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Sounds fun. I *expletive deleted*ing hate going to weddings, especially when my wife and I get roped into helping with them.
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My wife wouldn’t let me wear jeans and boots. I wore slacks and a polo shirt. I was overdressed and not even sporting any interesting tattoos.
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Sounds like a good wedding. They forgot to exchange swords, but otherwise seems good.
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Was the father of the bride carrying a shotgun?
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Was the father of the bride carrying a shotgun?
No, just a beer.
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I declined my dad's offer to send the moonshine around at my wedding. Doubt the christening would have saved it anyway. The shine came out(1987 or so before BS fake shine was a thing) at my sister's wedding. At some point a fight ensued over the jar culminating in one brother of the groom ripping the screen door off another brother of the groom's house cops called, etc. Those boys were "known to law enforcement anyways. Only exciting thing at my wedding was a groomsman that we went to school with banged one of the bridesmaids, a cousin of wifey.
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First: Small church on Long Island, parents, best man, Wife1's girl friends from college, some friends of mine from college, modest reception at a local restaurant. Lasted 23 years through no fault of mine, issue: two boys.
Second: Wife2 and I had lived together for a year before knitting a union. Civil Service in Denver County building, Justice of the Peace, staff as witnesses, Unfortunately, I had quit drinking, she had not. She passed on in 2007, RIP.
I was best man at a friend's wedding, that one was a splash, big Church wedding, big reception at a large bar/restaurant. I remember it was the second time in life I wore a tuxedo.
I can't recall exactly what the first time was, but probably the super posh-posh wedding of my cousin Ann. Reception at the Waldorf IIRC. I remember you could see the Empire State Building from the reception room.
She married big. Real big. Never saw her again. I wonder if that tells me something.
<Terry scratches head>
<Terry belches>
<Terry checks armpits>
Terry, 230RN
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The most memorable wedding I attended was in my 20s, when I was an usher at a friend's wedding. He married a naked dancer he met at the nudie bar. Pink tuxedos for the groomsmen, and the bride's side of the wedding looked like a two dollar hooker convention. The marriage lasted almost six months. :laugh:
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^ "The marriage lasted almost six months. "
Yeah, but WOTTA SIX MONTHS !
Fights, reconciliations, fights, reconciliations, twofers, threefers, in public, in the woods, seam-ripping, chases, chain mail, hiding and seeking in the house, out of the house, fights, stratospheric reconciliations...
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
I'm exhausted just remembering thinking about it.
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In the most memorable wedding I attended I was a groomsman for one of my oldest friends - he's US born but ethnic Cantonese, and he married a woman originally from Hong Kong. (They went through some rocky times, but they're still together 30+ years on.) The ceremony was at her church, the Chicago Chinese Baptist Church on one of the hottest days of the year at what may have been the only church in Chicago with no A/C. The pastor was an autocrat who didn't want photos or videos taken - but I advised one of the groom's brothers to go up to the balcony, mount the video camera on a tripod and shoot between the seats - the pastor never saw the lens! =D
The reception was in Chicago's Chinatown - and the food was VERY expensive, but not what I was used to as Chinese food. (My buddy's dad ran the best Chinese carry out restaurant on the SW side of Chicago.) First course was bird's nest soup. Of course, birds aren't the most fastidious of creatures, and the aroma reminded me of following a badly adjusted diesel truck while downwind of the stockyards on a hot summer day. Next course looked like translucent orange spaghetti - but it was jellyfish. Afterwards - and at first I thought it was a joke - was what looked for all the world like one of those gag rubber chickens. No - traditional Chinese cookery means cooking the chicken complete - guts and all - and then just chopping it into one inch slices for serving. (Did I mention guts and all?) Lobster was next, and I'm not sure what else came afterwards, since there WAS booze on the table. Dessert at this elite Chinese wedding banquet - little dixie cups of ice cream, complete with tiny wooden spoons.
Shortly after dinner I was standing around talking to the best man (another mutual old friend) and two of the groom's brothers, when up walks the pastor who starts haranguing the best man for not including some "traditional Chinese" wishes in the toast. After a minute or two I couldn't stand it, so I laid into the pastor (verbally!) and started with "Now you just watch your tongue - take a look at him, does he LOOK Chinese?! NO! If you had more than a teaspoonfull of brains in that empty head of yours YOU would have talked to him BEFORE the reception - preferably right after the rehearsal - so he could include what you wanted in the toast - BUT YOU DIDN'T! This is ON YOU!"
I continued in the same vein for a while as the pastor got redder and redder in the face, as NOBODY dares talk to HIM that way. (I'm proud of myself for avoiding profanity.) And finally he stalked off without another word.
Both of the groom's brothers made a point of shaking my hand, saying it was about time someone put that pompous ass in his place, and they just wish they'd been able to film it. =D
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The most memorable wedding I attended was in my 20s, when I was an usher at a friend's wedding. He married a naked dancer he met at the nudie bar. Pink tuxedos for the groomsmen, and the bride's side of the wedding looked like a two dollar hooker convention. The marriage lasted almost six months. :laugh:
Somebody didn’t pay attention to the “danger zone” of the crazy/hot matrix.
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Somebody didn’t pay attention to the “danger zone” of the crazy/hot matrix.
She wasn't even hot, but she was somewhat psycho. We tried to talk him out of it, but what are ya gonna do?
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She wasn't even hot, but she was somewhat psycho. We tried to talk him out of it, but what are ya gonna do?
Lack of hotness just pushes her from the danger zone to the no-go zone. Sounds like a case of financial Darwinian selection.
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Sounds like a case of financial Darwinian selection.
He was that on more than this occasion. IIRC, in this case, other than the dough he spent to get and then keep her for six months, all it cost him to finally kick her out was a car and a couple thousand ducats of travel dough.
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I attended a wedding a few weeks ago. The ceremony was less than 30 minutes which was good since it was an outdoor wedding in June. The building the reception was in had no A/C. The heat wasn't terrible, but it wasn't pleasant either.
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I attended a wedding a few weeks ago. The ceremony was less than 30 minutes which was good since it was an outdoor wedding in June. The building the reception was in had no A/C. The heat wasn't terrible, but it wasn't pleasant either.
My one cousin's kid decided she wanted her wedding outdoors at my aunt and uncle's farm in the central valley in CA. In August. I remember it was like 105. My cousin found a place that rented the biggest swamp coolers I'd ever seen, made for outdoor use. They were like 6'x6'. He set up two of them for a cross breeze, and they actually did a pretty good job.
Still, that was a shorts and flip flops wedding. I felt really bad for the groom. He had just gotten out of Army boot and was wearing whatever class uniform they wear to weddings. He was one big sweatball. :laugh:
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Check this one out
Some very odd looking and dressed people
Rupert Murdoch and Claudia Winkleman among guests as the media tycoon's granddaughter Charlotte Freud ties the knot with Luke Storey in Cotswold ceremony
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-10977471/Rupert-Murdoch-Claudia-Winkleman-guests-Charlotte-Freud-weds-Luke-Storey.html
The Bridesmaids I suppose top right
(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2022/07/03/12/59809479-0-image-m-2_1656848349313.jpg)
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Still, that was a shorts and flip flops wedding. I felt really bad for the groom. He had just gotten out of Army boot and was wearing whatever class uniform they wear to weddings. He was one big sweatball. :laugh:
Dress Blues? YIKES!
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We had a typical Catholic church wedding in 1966. My cousin who was a priest married us. Reception at the Knights of Columbus hall with food and drink and band. When we left the reception a black cat ran in front of our car...yet 56 years later here we are.
How we got together was even better. My partner and I were attempting to pass a vehicle while in pursuit of a car load of idiots who had thrown beer bottles at some winos. We had our overhead lights on, no siren. The car we were trying to pass suddenly turned left and I couldn't avoid hitting it in the side. When I got out of the cruiser and approached the car I hit, I noticed it was peeled open from the front wheel clear back to the rear wheel..a new 64 Ford Falcon convertible. The 2nd thing I noticed was a quite attractive blonde girl getting out of the car who was pissed and said to me, "You stupid son of a behotch, look what you did to my car." Hmmmm.
About a month later I was having a cold beer after 3-11 shift at a local pub when I noticed an attractive blond girl who looked familiar. I sidled up to her all suave and debonair and said she looked familiar. Her reply: "I should, you are the stupid son of behotch who smashed up my car." One thing led to another...........
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Hmmm… I’m in Minnesota, and have been for all of my 67+ years.
That’s NOT a typical rural Minnesota wedding! It is, however, a typical redneck wedding, no matter what state you’re in.
What town? Or county, if you don’t care to be too specific. I’m about two hours west of MSP.
JB