Sooooo, it's The Mike Irwin Story
Yep, the Mike Irwin story...
Except for...
I don't give a *expletive deleted*ck about my HOA's rules, generally. They're pretty non-restrictive for the most part.
I'm not a widower.
I don't give a screw what scofflaws do just as long as they don't do it to me. If they do do it to me, chances are pretty good they'll be looking down the barrel of whatever handgun I'm carrying that day.
I dress relatively neatly. Maybe 10% of the time.
I will, however, wear a tuxedo when I go not on my suicide attempt, but on a killing spree.