grampster my friend,
There is not enough bandwith, or time for me to list all my faults and misgivings. I know, I got cramped hands/ fingers, run out of ink, run thru legal pads doing an inventory once and again some years later on. Best part was when I faced it with another, and the legal pads were tossed in a roaring fireplace.
I am reponsible and I own those things.
Been sober since 1984. I find I am in a dead run for simple. I appreciate Serenity and Simple. I recall my Mentors and Elders, I was attracted to what they had. I hung with older folks, still prefer to.
Mentors and Elders are gone now. I had some momentos, some are lost, some burned up in a fire. All I got is the memory of what didn't get lost or burnt.
I also have things fire will not erase, some bad times, some bad folks, and even the fact time has passed, some folks are gone, or I have removed myself from playgrounds, playmates, playthings, folks, family, friends...well they remain -
It is that hoping I shared teaching a kid, to shoot and he teaches another , and this is taught again ...
Maybe the lady I did the teaching with , and her kids being taught, and they...
There are some single shot shotguns I have given away, some are still passing forward...
Some of my Competition guns are still winning and getting prizes...
The guns may burn up, get lost or stolen. The lessons and memories I remember, I hope for these folks they do to.
Little stuff, like walking the property with a dog, reading a book, whittling a stick...something I did with someone...and they too pass these things forward.
At this time, I am having to start all over - again. Doesn't seem to get any easier each time I have been thru this either. Oh I have been totally at fault before. This time - yeah I made some mistakes, just this time TPTB really are at fault. Handling this I goof along the way. I admit so.
My goal this time is not to make - or make less mistakes. I want simple , more than ever. I do not need or want a big house, car or whatever. I do want to replace the cash in Hill's Bros cans I had. I do want to get this semester over, I do want to leave.
So making inquiries of where to go with not much but what I have in a storage room, and what little I keep close to make it 24 hrs a day. Get a job I can still take classes around when can. Build a new life, a simple one. Just as soon work out of the house one of these days to save wear and tear on a vechicle, drive time, parking and such. Get a dog, share a can of Vienna Sausages and walk the property to see what we can see. Don't own a TV, only reason I'd get another is to see some VHS movies and training tapes I have. Still something about reading Ruark to a dog, and listening to the rain outside...
Maybe when it lets up me and the dog can shoot tin cans off the back porch. Nope, the dog wants me grab a single shot .410, go check on the quail, see if any deer on the fringes, chase a rabbit, bark at the squirrels...
Simple.
