I'll just start you off with this sample about her mother-in-law
RING, RING…
“Hello?”
“Nancy, it’s your 78-year-old mother-in-law. Listen, I need you to tell me where I can buy a Playboy magazine.”
“Excuse me? Did you just ask me where to buy pornography?”
“Yes, dear. I haven’t a clue where to buy that sorta thing. Did you know you can’t buy Playboy at the grocery store?”
“No, I guess you can’t, now tell me…why, exactly, do you need a Playboy magazine?”
“I need it for a big neighborhood bash we’re having. We live in a very progressive neighborhood, you know.”
“You’re right about that. Last week I waved to the gentleman on the corner. He was parked in his wheelchair in the driveway reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Try Barnes & Noble. They have a huge magazine selection.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. I’ll shoot right over after church. It’s our neighbor Joe’s 82nd birthday. He’ll be thrilled. He has Alzheimer’s and needs a bit of help remembering a few things.”
http://youngamericanwisdom.com/ Just wait till you meet Jay and Will (and let's not forget Anna).
But what ever you do, do not read "I Heard it On the Bus".
stay safe.
