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I'm a cranky bitch...

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spinr:
At least that's what my best friend told me.

I think he's right.

I've turned into a first rate ahole, for the most part.

Back in April I had to start working 3rd shift.  12 A.M. - 8 A.M.  I had been working 4 P.M. - 12 A.M. for the past six years; which suited me just fine.  I'm a bit of a night owl, but I usually hit my limit around 4 to 5 A.M. and head off to bed.

Anyhoo, I've apparently undergone quite a change in attitude since the switch.  I've always been a generally easy-going, carefree person; I've always had a hell of temper though.  It took a lot to set me off, but one I was lit I'd be just shy of a raving lunatic.  That usually only happened in private though, I controlled it fairly well in public.

But my issue isn't really my temper.  It's just that I've passed jerk, headed for jackass.

Ever since I've been on this shift, I just feel... blah.  I don't get excited about much anymore, and I'm rarely ever happy.  I guess I mostly just tolerate life now.  

When I went into this, I researched the whole graveyard shift thing.  I read others' experiences, noted their tips & tricks.  Even got some professional medical insight on it.

I took care to make sure I got my sleep in.  I didn't have AC in my house, so I bought a couple of window units on the cheap to keep my primary living quarters cool during the day so I could sleep comfortably.  That was a big problem originally, as it was blisteringly hot during the afternoon, and I just couldn't sleep to save my life.  I'd have to wait until 6 P.M. or so, until the day cooled enough hit the bed.  The AC helped at first, but I seem to have plateaued.  

I can sleep a few hours, sleep long enough until I'm ready to get up, or linger in bed all day long; there's no difference, I still feel run-down.  There's many nights at work that I fight to stay awake.

I've tried to adjust the best I can.  I still try to live 'normally', doing the same things I did before I came to nights, but suited to the new hours.  I'm not sure what else to do.  I thought I had prepared myself.

That as it is, the issue, again, is my temperment.  My malaise has seemingly derailed my otherwise genial disposition.  I didn't really notice it until my friend mentioned it to me.  As I reflect on it, and take note of my current state, I really see it.  I asked a couple of my other closer acquaintences & coworkers about it, and they said they've noticed a difference in me.

I'm very short with most people.  The little things really piss me off.  I make a lot more smartass comments about this and that now.  I don't go out of my way to say greet anyone, I only exchange plesantries if absolutely necessary.  I care less about the effect my actions might have.

I find that I zone-out and just stare off into space quite a bit now.  And I don't know that I want to or even should admit this, but I sometimes have episodes where I just want to cry like a baby.

It sucks...

I don't necessarily want to change jobs, but I'm looking in to it.  I imagine professional help may be in order... I really don't want to do that, though.

Any insight, guys?

I feel silly laying this out here, as such.  It feels good to vent, though.

Thanks...

Robert Sears:
How much sunlight-real or artifical are you getting? Look into getting some artifical sun lamps.Studies have show that people get a lot grumpier in the wintertime due to lack of sunlight. It might help.

Bob

Stand_watie:
I'm a third shifter (10 - 6 right now, and 6-6 normally) during the work week and a day shifter on my days off. Been doing it for about 12 years now. I'm fine with sleeping at night when I have the option of napping whenever I feel like it, but working days is harder for me than nights. My opinion is that some people are just wired for sleeping different times of day. It sounds to me like you're an "evening" person.

No possibility at work for moving your schedule back 3 or 4 hours?

spinr:

--- Quote from: Bob41081 ---How much sunlight-real or artifical are you getting? Look into getting some artifical sun lamps.Studies have show that people get a lot grumpier in the wintertime due to lack of sunlight. It might help.

BobNone, really.  Just the little bit on the way home in the morning, and a few minutes in the afternoon when I take the dogs out.  I'm asleep the rest of the time, and it's dark at work - low light inside, that is.

:/

Did I mention irrational tendencies?  Like baring ones soul on an internet message board...

In the short time it took me to get home after posting that, above, I've really begun to wonder if I should have.  I kinda' feel like an idiot now.  Like I'm wallowing in self-pity.



In fact, I'm thisclose to doing an Edit, Ctrl A, Del, Submit...

Convince me otherwise?

Ugh...

client32:
I'll second the sunlight thing.

I used to be a 3rd shifter as well.  Changed my scedule where I was awake for more daylight hours, that helped.

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