How not to sell your home.

[Brad Johnson]

Brough to you by the old geezer at the gun show who spent ten minutes telling me how good his house was, how it was so much better than everything else around him, and "why in the heck hasn't my sorry agent sold it yet"!!??

Well, I looked up said house this morning.  I think I know the problem.

Price - $98,000
That comes out to $75.91 per square foot in a neighborhood that averages $71.  At 1291 sq ft that means he has it overpriced by around six grand.

Layout - 2/2/2
This is a cookie-cutter neighborhood built on the premise that uniformity breeds value stability.  It does. But all the other cookie cutter homes in the neighborhood are three bedroom, not two.  His is the odd man out in an area that is not only a prime neighborhood for families who want that third bedroom, but also for college rentals who demand that third bedroom to support the rent rates that justify the pricing.  Knock another 3-5% off the price and you might be able to move it on price alone.  It's going to take getting the price somewhere, anywhere, under $90k to get him back in the game.

Showing - Confirmed only (meaning they have to speak directly to him instead of just being able to leave a message with a showing time)
There are twenty more homes in the same neighborhood that are the same size, same basic layout, and lower in price.  They are also either vacant or can be easily shown by leaving a quick message.

Pictures
There is one front picture that looks like all the other homes in the neighborhood.  There are two interior pictures that look like all the other homes in the neighborhood.  There is one back yard picture that shows spots of dead grass and two huge dog houses.  Just guessing by the overall feel of the interior pics, the dogs probably spend more time inside than out.

And the icing on the cake

Special Showing Provision - Show only when owner is present.
Yeah, right.  Not when there are twenty others to choose from where an owner isn't there peeking over your shoulder all the time.

So, let's analyze...

He has a home that is overpriced for an average home in the neighborhood.  And his isn't average.  His is a two-bedroom in a neighborhood that almost demands a three bedroom in terms of marketability.  His is the only house in that area that requires a Confirmed Appointment to show and, on top of that, he demands to be present during the showing.  The pictures are of an average looking house that probably  reeks of dog.

He wonders why it's only been shown four times in three months.  I'm floored that it's been shown at all.

Brad

[The Rabbi]

And then they sit around and blame you because you can't sell it.
Did his agent mention all these things to him?
My experience has been that trying to deal with older people is next to impossible because they all figure this is the last chance they've got.
I do much better buying from the estate.

[Brad Johnson]

He claims to have about fifty thou in guns and a fortune's worth of "very rare" collectors cars.  Personally, I think he's a lot of mouth and just a little cracked.  His gun collection probably consists of  a couple of Marlin and Winchester lever guns (most of which were his or his wife's father's), a beat up Smith or two, and one worn-out civil war era something.  I'd say his "very rare" collectors cars will consist of an extrememly high mileage base model 1984 Taurus four-cylinder and the rusted-out hulk of a former Edsel.

Brad

[The Rabbi]

He claims to have about fifty thou in guns and a fortune's worth of "very rare" collectors cars.  Personally, I think he's a lot of mouth and just a little cracked.

Brad

I've heard that before.

His "fifty thou in guns":



His "fortune's worth of collector cars:

[AntiqueCollector]

LOL a miniscule fortune in scrap metal anyways.

[K Frame]

Replacement value on my guns is probably in the $50k range given today's prices.

[Bogie]

We had one family who had to sell or get foreclosed turn up cooking a roast (of indeterminate origin) in their fireplace when we went to show the place...

[Paddy]

He wonders why it's only been shown four times in three months.  I'm floored that it's been shown at all.

How much was it originally listed for?  How many price reductions in three months?  It could be his agent (after knowingly taking an overpriced listing) hasn't finished beating him down on the price reductions yet. 

[Brad Johnson]

He wonders why it's only been shown four times in three months.  I'm floored that it's been shown at all.

How much was it originally listed for?  How many price reductions in three months?  It could be his agent (after knowingly taking an overpriced listing) hasn't finished beating him down on the price reductions yet. 

After listening to this guy rattle one ad nauseum yesterday, I think there's a reasonable certainty
the agent could beat all he wanted and it wouldn't make any difference.  The seller is thoroughly and firmly convinced that his house is completely superior in every way, shape, and form to every other house in that neighborhood.  Plus the fact that he's just a little cuckoo to begin with.

Brad

[charby]

We had one family who had to sell or get foreclosed turn up cooking a roast (of indeterminate origin) in their fireplace when we went to show the place...

That would be quite interesting to see

[thebaldguy]

I know a retired realtor. He says people would always ask too much for a house. I think his favorite expression was "do you want to list it or sell it?"

We once looked at a house years ago where the price was way too high; and the detached garage was in horrible shape. It needed to come down. He advertised the house as having a garage, but our bid was reduced by the value of a garage. He was almost angry with the realtor about our bid; the realtor explained the garage was of negligible value.

The house was on the market for over three years before it sold. In this neighborhood that is almost unheard of.

[jeepmor]

A house for under $100k, that would be nice.

Try doing some real estate research in Portland, Or area and tell him to quit whining.  Try finding one under $200K in the Portland area and you'd be damned lucky it wasn't a condemned former meth lab....honestly.

[Sylvilagus Aquaticus]

Wow. Deja vu.

One of my listings was very, very similar. Located in a town where we weren't 'in the local market', the house was owned by a septagenarian and his wife. Pier and beam where all the others on the street were on a slab, and this one started life as a shack that had been moved in and added onto several times since the late 30's, going from 500 sq. feet to 3000 sq. ft, 600 feet at a time over the decades. Of course, the others on the street were custom built around the same time, during the oil boom.

Between the reek of cat, the step-ups and step-downs, the owners HAD to be home for all showings (and they'd follow you around wheeling their oxygen carts and smoking) the real deal-killer was the cheezy Polynesian lounge tiki music piped into all rooms via loudspeakers mounted on the walls.

Oh yeah, it was priced by the owner at 40k over the nearest remotely comparable houses, and came with exclusions, addenda, and a list of exempted 'prospects' (suspects) that looked like half the town phonebook.

Their kids ended up selling it to a local semi-slumlord who cut it into apartments after their ultimate demise.

I'll light a candle for ya.

Regards,
Rabbit.

[Archie]

I'm reading intently.  I'm due to retire in less than a year and part of that process is to sell my house.

I may just commit sepuku and be done with it.

[Bogie]

How to sell a house.

Get a storage locker. Maybe a big one.

Move out half your stuff. Maybe more than half. If it's winter, store your summer clothes. If it's summer, store the winter ones.

All your tools and garage crap gets stored, unless you have a dedicated shop area.

Most of your kitchen stuff gets stored. Eat out a lot.

Fresh paint. Clean carpets. Dust everything.

[HankB]

When I sold my last house, I staged it to look almost like a furnished model . . . even though it was a corporate move, I figured it wouldn't hurt to stage it for the company's realtor. (Company bought it, for exactly what I had figured it was worth. Yes, I also had an evaluation from two independent realtors . . . )

If & when I move again, I'll have to do the storage locker bit, especially for my hunting trophies . . . don't want to turn off a PETA type if they have the fund$ to buy! 

[MechAg94]

I sold a house last year.  I painted a little and cleaned a lot.  I did a few repairs to improve things a little.  I had fixed up the patio area.  I boxed up a lot of crap I had laying around and made sure all my gun stuff was as out of sight as possible.  I could fit everything in the safe back then. 

[Brad Johnson]

How to sell a house.

Get a storage locker. Maybe a big one.

Move out half your stuff. Maybe more than half. If it's winter, store your summer clothes. If it's summer, store the winter ones.

All your tools and garage crap gets stored, unless you have a dedicated shop area.

Most of your kitchen stuff gets stored. Eat out a lot.

Fresh paint. Clean carpets. Dust everything.

Bogie, next time you move can I sell your house?  It would be a nice change to have a seller that actually, well... thinks. 

Brad

[Harold Tuttle]

I maybe in this pickle soon

I have a 3bdrm 1600 sqf  sf "colonial" in outer Montgomery county DC

similar listings are between 400-450K
the 4 bdrm 2 car homes in my neighborhood are 650-800K
town houses are 380K
I can take my profits from the sale & outright buy a 4 brd  2 car  house in central PA for 300K

i would rather bridge to the new home, move my stuff once and sell the house

finding a J.O.B. is the sticky wicket

[charby]

I maybe in this pickle soon

I have a 3bdrm 1600 sqf  sf "colonial" in outer Montgomery county DC

similar listings are between 400-450K
the 4 bdrm 2 car homes in my neighborhood are 650-800K
town houses are 380K
I can take my profits from the sale & outright buy a 4 brd  2 car  house in central PA for 300K

i would rather bridge to the new home, move my stuff once and sell the house

finding a J.O.B. is the sticky wicket

What is the average household income to afford a house like that?  $380k.. that would buy you one hell of a house where I live. 3000+ sq ft on a acre lot for something new and something a little older with up to 30 acres of land. I really don't see that much difference in wages between central Iowa and the more populace coastal regions, maybe 5-10k a year difference at most. I make more per year than some of my friends in the LA area doing the same kind of work (with same time in experience) and I even work for the state which pays lower salary than private business.

Sorry for the hijack... 

[Perd Hapley]

My experience has been that trying to deal with older people is next to impossible

You could say that about a million times. 

[The Rabbi]

My experience has been that trying to deal with older people is next to impossible

You could say that about a million times. 

I think I have.
Last time was the 92 year old surviving partner in a gun shop who wanted half of retail for everything in the store.

[Monkeyleg]

+1 (Sorry, Mike, couldn't resist).

Try to get your 90 year-old parents to move out of their house.

[Brad Johnson]

+1 (Sorry, Mike, couldn't resist).

Try to get your 90 year-old parents to move out of their house.

No thanks. Trying to get my 90 year old Grandfather to stop driving was bad enough.

Brad

[Jamisjockey]

How to sell a house.

Get a storage locker. Maybe a big one.

Move out half your stuff. Maybe more than half. If it's winter, store your summer clothes. If it's summer, store the winter ones.

All your tools and garage crap gets stored, unless you have a dedicated shop area.

Most of your kitchen stuff gets stored. Eat out a lot.

Fresh paint. Clean carpets. Dust everything.

Bogie, next time you move can I sell your house?  It would be a nice change to have a seller that actually, well... thinks. 

Brad

We're even one step past that.  We don't think.  We ask the realtor what needs to be done and then prioritize by cost.  We get it done.  Realtor says jump, we say how high......

So, last year we were looking at homes, when we bought our current shack.  NoVA has higher than average home prices, especially if you want 4+ bedrooms and a fully finished basment.  We were looking around $450-$500k about 2500-3000 sqft.  Not cheap, right?  You'd think then, that people would actually clean a house before showing it, not cook pugnant ethnic foods, or actually have basement finishing that at least looks code, right?
Wrong!
At least 2 homes we looked at were a mess.  Now, I understand "lived in".  Its hard to have kids and keep a house "show ready".  But take out the damn trash.  Cut the grass once a week.  Empty out your GD garage.
One home we went in was owned by people from probably India.  House was nice enough, but the smell of cooking (presumably curry) was stronger than even an Indian resturant!  It was so bad my wife couldn't stand to be in it.
Then there was the death house.  Priced at the top of the price range ($499k), it wasn't furnished with more than a dining table and a bed, even though someone was living there.  The person living there was a woman, wheelchair bound, around 150 years old it appeared.  And the place smelled like she'd died 2 years prior, but nobody had the heart to inform her of it.  The carpet looked like it had been pieced together by children, as you could see all the seams.  The neighbors had 4 cars on blocks.  And there was grafitti on the back of the house.