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Dumbest thing you ever did on a date?

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Monkeyleg:
My wife and I just celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary, so it's been a long time since I've dated.

We were talking about the old times, and I remembered a particular date we'd had back in 1968. I was driving along 27th Street, and put my right arm around her. With a cigarette in hand.

I set her hair on fire. Really. I had to pull over and use my jacket to smother the flames (she was using some kind of hair spray or hair straightener that was flammable).

Amazingly, she doesn't remember that incident today. Even more amazing is that she continued to date me.

I'm now reminded of another date that took place years earlier. I was hanging out with some greasers then, and one of them fixed me up with a blind date. Her name was Debbie Reynolds (no, not that Debbie Reynolds).

All of us went to the movie theater with our dates. When all of the other guys put their arms around the shoulders of their dates, I did the same.

And Debbie Reynolds bit my hand.

Another memory:

Back in 1971 or so, my now-wife Debbie and I had split up. I was dating another young woman, also named Debbie (what's with all the Debbie's?).

On Christmas Eve, I went to the apartment of the Debbie who is not my wife. I gave her a nice Christmas present. And then I told her that I was leaving her to go back to the Debbie who is now my wife.

She burst into tears, and her roomate kicked me out of the apartment. Literally. She planted her high-heeled shoe squarely on my backside. It hurt.

By every measure of social skills, I should still be a bachelor today at age 55. I guess my wife took pity on me.

It's either that, or there are so many Debbie's out there that probability dictates that one of them will tolerate a boor like me.

Leatherneck:
"On Christmas Eve, I went to the apartment of the Debbie who is not my wife. I gave her a nice Christmas present. And then I told her that I was leaving her to go back to the Debbie who is now my wife.

She burst into tears, and her roomate kicked me out of the apartment. Literally. She planted her high-heeled shoe squarely on my backside. It hurt."

Mr. Sensitivity you ain't, Monkeyleg. You've obviously improved your social skills; or your Debbie is actually a Saint.

TC

Bogie:
Dumb date moves...

Back on the farm, in my early twenties, I was going to show a young lady how far back the fields went (my mother was living in the house at the front of the farm... and I was sure that seclusion was the better part of scoring...). So we get on the road to go around the farm to the other end, putting along in my volkswagen van, when the low-count possum that'd been eating my ducks decided to cross the road. I had to swerve to the other side, but I nailed him.

My date didn't think that was a Good Thing.
 
Moved to St. Louis. Went out on a date. Weekend night, lookin' like it was gonna be a good evening, maybe a better morning. Music, movies, whatever. So I pick up the young lady, and set out driving. Come to a corner stop sign (there's a lot of 'em in St. Louis), and there's a cat by the side of the road. It'd been hit by a car or a truck or something, and it wasn't in very good shape. In fact, it wasn't really shaped all that much like a cat anymore.
 
It's conscious, so I took a look at it, ascertained that large portions that should be on the inside were not on the outside, decided that it wasn't repairable, got into the trunk, and then I went over and fixed it.
 
My date freaked. She'd thought I was gonna get a nice towel,and rush the critter (on a weekend night...) to the nearest animal emergency room, where the nice vet would make it all better. Didn't really appreciate that I euthanized the thing as fast and as humanely as I could...
 
Next time I see a critter in the road on a date: "Nope... I don't think that was a cat. I'm pretty sure it was a possum. I'm glad I missed it."

Mabs2:
The dumbest dating move I've ever made is never going on a date.
THAR BEAT THAT ONE11!



*cry*

charby:
In summer of 1993 I was dating this very attractive gal and we decided to go cruzin' down the strip in Keokuk, IA. Keokuk was about 40 minutes drive from my hometown of Burlington, IA. We were zipping up and down the strip and if anyone is familiar with the main drag of Keokuk, every block has a stop light, so I was getting pretty tired of shifting gears in my Jeep, motor was getting a little warm and I was getting warm moving at a snails pace with the top down.

A convertible full of four fellows had pulled up beside us and kept staring at the lady riding with me as we drove up and down the strip. Well I was ready to hit the highway, get cooled down and head for home. So I hollered over to their car, give me a case of beer and you can have her. Well she proceeded to beat the crap out me then when we left town she would give me a punch every few miles or so. Needless to say we dated a couple months after that but our relationship was going downhill after that night.

Okay fast forward to recent time when I met the future Mrs Charby for the first time. We were both at a conference and both had hit the free keg and jello shots a little too much. Then fate have it we run into each other in the hall, she asked me if I wanted to drink out of her 'gator.

(She takes this rubber 'gator with her to these conferences and dares people to drink beer out of it, but the gator has a little hole near the tail which she covers with her finger and when she had the gator over to the person she lets go of the hole so the person gets a nice stream of beer down their shirt while drinking out it.)

I look at her friend and tell her (future mrs charby) that I like blonds and I don't drink out of no stinkin 'gator and my plastic cup suits me just fine. Funny thing is Mrs Charby is a brunette and her friend was a blond. So she just scowled at me and I went off to celebrate some more with my buddies in our room.

About a half hour later I ran into in her the hall and she wanted to braid my hair for odd reason, I said sure (I had hair at the time about 4" past my shoulders, now its 3/4 the way down my back) So we go sit in the corner of my room as everyone else is drinking in the room and she braids my hair. I look at her and say so what are you like 38 or something, seems like all I get hitting on me are these spinsters. She glared at me and said yes I'm 38 and a spinster and I promptly told her I'm 25 (I lied about my age and can pass easily for a college student). So she finished up braiding my hair, all my buddies started laughing and future wife's friend decides it time to go investigate another party.

Well sometime passed and I was fighting drinking another beer or going to sleep while one of the ladies that with us was trying her best to get me to go to bed with her. I was just about to agree when my future wife came in the room to see what was going on. She had a surprised look on her face when I was in the process of agreeing with the lady that was trying really hard to get in my pants. Then I got a whiff of sobriety and realized that this is a drunken hookup and bailed out of the room to go sober up elsewhere. Of course my future wife had already vacated the hall where my groups rooms were located.

I checked out the floors above, below and the conference room where all the free booze was at to apologize for being an ass. I couldn't find her, but I did see her at breakfast and for some odd reason her and I swapped contact info just in case either one of us was going to be in each other towns and get together for a cup of coffee or something. I'm not sure who asked for whose info first, kind of a hazy still drunk at breakfast morning.

So I stuck her info in my billfold and forgot about it. Funny thing is that we kept running into each other about every two weeks of so, just a simple hi and bye. Well after about the third encounter I called her up and we started calling each other everyday. I got around to telling her sorry I was an ass that first night we ran into each other, then she asked me if I slept with the one girl, I told no but I left the room right after you ducked out to go find you to apologize.

Well about three months after the conference we started dating, it wasn't one of those hey lets go out for a date, just sort of happened one night when I was in her town the night before a family get together.

Well now were just barely married and lovin' life.

-C

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