Author Topic: Everyone be extra gentle with mtnbkr for a couple of days... (Read 5377 times)

K Frame · « **on:** February 07, 2006, 02:51:01 PM »

His brain isn't going to be what it normally is...

He had to go to a Barney the Dinosaur show this evening...

Hey, Fatboy, how many pterodactyls am I holding up? Cheesy

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle · « **Reply #1 on:** February 07, 2006, 03:16:23 PM »

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,
Won't you say you love...me...too.

Barney is the Antichrist, and I have proof:

Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
Prove: Barney is satanic

The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for
printing, meaning the Roman representation would for
Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

Extracting the Roman numerals, we have:
CV V L DI V

And their decimal equivalents are:
100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Adding those numbers produces: 666.

666 is the number of the Beast.

Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN!

280plus · « **Reply #2 on:** February 07, 2006, 04:17:33 PM »

Yes but still noone has proven Tinky Winky is gay! Unfounded allegations I say!

LOL...

Hey I survived several "Sesame Street Live" shows, how bad can Barney be?

Wink

cosine · « **Reply #3 on:** February 07, 2006, 04:19:49 PM »

So Fig, where did you swipe that from, or did you prove that yourself?

cheesy

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle · « **Reply #4 on:** February 07, 2006, 04:30:08 PM »

Got it by Googling "Barney is AntiChrist".
Found it here: http://www.comedycorner.org/20.html

cosine · « **Reply #5 on:** February 07, 2006, 04:40:47 PM »

Interesting site. I thought I had seen every joke that floats around the 'net, (you know, the ones that are resurrected every six months in your email and on boards), but they had some pretty funny ones that I had never seen.

LawDog · « **Reply #6 on:** February 07, 2006, 05:08:08 PM »

Sung to the Barney tune:

I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie Barney to a tree.
Take a great big shotgun,
Shoot him in the head.

Oops, I'm sorry,
Barney's dead!

I hate, loathe, and despise that prehistoric purple pervert.

My nieces and nephews used to think he was just the greatest.

That thing is diabetes on the hoof. Thirty minutes of that saccharin putz would turn anyones brain into tapioca.

I'm pretty sure that The Hague has things to say about purple dinosaurs regarding human rights violations.

Yack.

LawDog

Brad Johnson · « **Reply #7 on:** February 07, 2006, 05:18:42 PM »

Personally, I think Barney doesn't hold a candle to Veggie Tales. Nothing like a little dose of talking produce to shock you back into reality.

Brad

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle · « **Reply #8 on:** February 07, 2006, 05:45:54 PM »

I REALLY like Veggie Tales. There is often subtle adult humor (not as in adult content, just as in grown up) in their stuff. The Larry Boy disco thing was priceless.

mtnbkr · « **Reply #9 on:** February 07, 2006, 05:48:59 PM »

It wasn't too bad. Since it's targeted towards young children, it didn't last long. I also got a business related phone call 5min into the 2nd half, so I got a 15min break.

Chris

stevelyn · « **Reply #10 on:** February 07, 2006, 06:28:04 PM »

I hate you
You hate me
Au-to-ma-tic weapon-ry
I have one and you have none
So I think you better run
Cheesy

Azrael256 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 07, 2006, 06:31:12 PM »

At my local range, you have to read the rules before you can shoot. One of the rules is something to the effect of "Say out loud, so the clerk can hear you, that Barney is the best show on TV." I looked up from the sheet the first time and told the clerk "I ain't f-in' saying that."

"Fair enough!"

Brad Johnson · « **Reply #12 on:** February 07, 2006, 07:01:30 PM »

Yeah, Barney's a fag. Now Sweetums, on the other hand....

(sorry, I'm a little giddy from lack of sleep. I'm not real sure why I remembered that...)

Brad

Antibubba · « **Reply #13 on:** February 07, 2006, 07:01:47 PM »

A few years ago at Spike & Mike's Festival of Sick and Twisted Animation, there was a short animation of Barney, running for his life, as a set of crosshairs lined up on him. It was a gory bloody death that required two shots, but got three anyway. The shooter was a Teletubby.

I lost a lung that day, from laughing. cheesy

Nathaniel Firethorn · « **Reply #14 on:** February 07, 2006, 07:08:22 PM »

I love you,
You love me,
That's called best-i-al-i-ty...

- NF, deftly dodging a #10 cast-iron skillet skillfully thrown by Art's grandma...

cosine · « **Reply #15 on:** February 07, 2006, 07:10:27 PM »

Alright! Alright! The satire of Barney's theme song has to stop before I bust a gut! cheesy

K Frame · « **Reply #16 on:** February 07, 2006, 07:46:50 PM »

"I also got a business related phone call 5min into the 2nd half, so I got a 15min break."

You were probably the envy of every father there...

"Dammit, why didn't I leave my number at the office?"

Guest · « **Reply #17 on:** February 07, 2006, 08:14:27 PM »

LawDog's Post

I agree 200% !!

Speaking of shotguns...
When I assisted with ladies, especially moms, we shot at Barney Targets, Barney Balloons,Barney anything and when child "finally" outgrew that purple putz - we shot cassette tapes.

"You try being a single mom on a car trip and listening to Barney for 5 hours".

Folks, that lady not only emptied all 6 rounds from a K frame into a cassette tape - she blew the living crap out of Barney Doll with a 20 ga 1100..." I still see a speck of purple...more ammo...hurry!"

Yeah so I instruct different - it works.

I hate the Bee Gees, long running joke and shooting BeeGees related stuff. Has to do with me getting the keys to a juke box, taking all the platters of Bee Gees Music out of it.

[Note : Why in the hell would two gals from Ohio come to TX and stick money into a TX juke-box is beyond me. They looked smart, acted smart, real pretty too, but when Jerry Jeff Walker ended and the BeeGees came on...all she wrote...a man gotta do what a man gotta do]

Then we took the 45 records [round vinyl disks music was recorded on for the young'uns in the audience] and shot them the next day on a shotgun range.

This was in TX mind you. Seems the Juke-Box -guy was from NJ originally, asked what happened to the BeeGees in the juke-box. We told him the truth, I removed them and we shot them.
He stepped back, eyed me, realized I was not kidding.
I offered to pay...he decided "normal wear and tear".

Hey, I/We got to pick some new tunes and get the selection changed on that thing.

That guy never again serviced that joint and juke-box. See why folks accept me in TX?

BA/UU/R - some stuff deserves to be shot repeatedly . Oh the original idea may not be "practice" just a great by product thereof.

BTW I recommend for Purple Putz's : 12 ga slugs, 45 ACP and 45-70 , takes care of shotgun, handgun and rifle selections in case folks were wondering...Proven by me.

Harold Tuttle · « **Reply #18 on:** February 07, 2006, 08:44:26 PM »

the Wiggles
http://www.thewiggles.com.au/index2.html
ewwwww

Omega · « **Reply #19 on:** February 07, 2006, 09:44:55 PM »

The wiggles make my eyes want to @*&%$#@ bleed.
What ever hapened to shows like mister rogers?

280plus · « **Reply #20 on:** February 07, 2006, 09:50:54 PM »

Hot potato, hot potato...

shocked

The more I think about it, a shot up pic of Barney is one of my earliest recollections from THR...

The version I know,,,

I hate you,
you hate me.
Why don't we all shoot Barney?
With a big loud BANG and a thud upon the floor,
no more purple dinosaur...

Yayyyyy...

Cheesy

Sylvilagus Aquaticus · « **Reply #21 on:** February 07, 2006, 10:34:10 PM »

You beat me to it, Azrael. Glad to see you were paying attention to the rules.

Some day SWMBO and I need to meet up with you there, then go grab a Shiner and a chicken fried steak at Kelly's.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Phyphor · « **Reply #22 on:** February 07, 2006, 10:50:53 PM »

Quote from: LawDog

Sung to the Barney tune:

I hate you,
You hate me,
Let's tie Barney to a tree.
Take a great big shotgun,
Shoot him in the head.

Oops, I'm sorry,
Barney's dead!

I hate, loathe, and despise that prehistoric purple pervert.

My nieces and nephews used to think he was just the greatest.

That thing is diabetes on the hoof. Thirty minutes of that saccharin putz would turn anyones brain into tapioca.

I'm pretty sure that The Hague has things to say about purple dinosaurs regarding human rights violations.

Yack.

LawDog

BWAHAHA! We used to have a song back in '95, shortly before I graduated high school....

I hate you
You hate me
Let's hang Barney from a tree
With a knife to the guts
and a bullet to the head
Drink a beer
'coz barney's dead.

(same idea, different wording, )

mtnbkr · « **Reply #23 on:** February 08, 2006, 01:43:30 AM »

Quote from: Harold Tuttle

the Wiggles
http://www.thewiggles.com.au/index2.html
ewwwww

BTDT. Bought my daughter the overpriced t-shirt. Their live show was better than the Barney one though.

280, I hate you know. That song's going to be stuck in my head all day.

Chris

280plus · « **Reply #24 on:** February 08, 2006, 01:48:10 AM »

Quote

280, I hate you know. That song's going to be stuck in my head all day.

Yea, it's stuck in my head now too...

Cheesy

News:

Author Topic: Everyone be extra gentle with mtnbkr for a couple of days... (Read 5377 times)

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle

Felonious Monk/Fignozzle

Guest