Just found this article today...
Not only is man moving towards femininity, females are moving towards masculinity.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8101517/site/newsweek/There is a running nickname here given to men who try to get a certain female they're after, but instead end up as the "best friend" type role. They commonly get referred to as the "gay friend" even if they're not.
As for the "affair as an excuse", I believe that there are those who have it as a legitimate excuse, and those who purposely get bored of the relationship and set up situations where it forces the wife to do so. Though, I would hope one cannot deny that courts are in general are in favor of the female gender when it comes to allegations of domestic abuse and divorce proceedings.
However, that being said, it is harder for a more traditional male to find a traditional woman...one that will cook, clean, love, and have the time and energy to properly raise a child, in exchange for a nice chunk of the husband's paycheck (afterall, she IS working), his company, his protection, and his love. At least, in my part of the woods. Most women here are feminists or single mothers looking to hook someone (the single mothers, not the feminists). I am by no means a conservative Christian Republican (in fact I'd be a semi-conservative Atheist Libertarian (that has never engaged in a recreational drug)) but I feel the above traditionalism has proven itself a working model over centuries of existance.
Instead of happy marriages, I hear a lot of marriages where the woman who marries, refuses to go into the workplace, likewise refuses to work in the homestead, and says "you have two hands, do it yourself" to dinner and bed. Being men in general are driven by a libido, physical interaction, and physical appearance...and women are in general driven by emotional and verbal interaction, and security, the lack of these traits dooms a marriage in most cases.
In gender dynamics of a couple's situation, many dyadic arguments can be summarized using this template:
Men have an inherent fight or flight response. Men in general are in control of their emotions and usually go from a mild state to full anger with relatively little transition in between. Most either try to escape or, if pushed over the edge, commit physical violence, or "verbal abuse" whatever that means.
Women in an argument will verbally hound someone until they either escape (and the woman might try going after them to continue hounding) or hound them with verbal abuse until it pushes the man over the edge. In general, a woman is more in touch with her emotions, and in result, more easily to call upon them and loose control of them subsequently.
Most people seem to neglect the mentioned general facts as how men and women are different, and somehow expect their methods of communication and affection-showing is identical to their partner's. Men seem to be constantly nagging for sex from a female's perspective but they don't understand that is how they show affection. Men are always complaining about how women want to talk their heads off about their day, emotions, etc and don't realize that is how a woman shows her affection.
A lot of times, When it comes to domestic abuse, physical violence seems to be initiated often by a woman (such as throwing of plates, slapping, etc). This in turn can escalate an otherwise non-confrontational man to explode in anger and return physical violence. Keep in mind I never claim -all-. In result, when police arrive, a lot of men neglect to make a big deal about being slapped or hit, or have objects thrown at him AND say that it injured him in fear of being seen as a sissy by this signifigant other, his peers, the police, or his ego.
In fact, it's been recommended by a pro-male, pro-father, domestic abuse/divorce court lawyer (who is a woman) locally here in an interview that if a man gets in a domestic abuse situation, and is actually being physically abused, he must stay on the phone the entire time with 911, and then make the explicit statement to law enforcement that the physical abuse from the woman had in fact hurt him. Otherwise, the police will likely arrest the male as they are required to arrest one party in a domestic abuse call--it's almost an engrained "norm". In fact, one person stated that he was clear of the charges and the police were going to take his wife to jail for a few nights, but made the offer of him being able to take her place!
If such events lead to divorce (and it usually does), then alimony and child support go to the female a majority of the time. Yes, I know...these two individuals shouldn't have married to begin with, but with marriage resembling a short-term automobile lease (hey this car looks cute, lets try it for a few years) rather than a lifelong attempt at commitment, its no wonder divorce rates are so high. Shoulda woulda coulda.
Likewise, an alternative and equally popular family blueprint consists of two working parents and a child who doesn't get the critical benefits of being raised fulltime by at least one of the parents...thats another can of worms.
I feel that some traditional roles are naturally engrained in us and that it would be insane to discard them. Females are seen as the loving, nurturing role in a family, and males are seen as the protector and provider. Next time a signifigant other tells you to make your own sandwich, tell her to go out by herself into the dark and check out that bump-in-the-night.
