Anti-bully program trains better bullies

[RevDisk]

They have actually long since graduated to if a bully attacks you and you do not fight back you are punished as if you fought back. Yes, I am serious. Happened to me, even (first time I was attacked, the bully knocked me on the ground from behind. I got up and one of his buddies knocked me down again before I could fight back). They suspended me for three days too.

Ayep. Same here. They tried calling it a "cooling off period".

There is no reason NOT to fight, and every reason TO fight.

[Sergeant Bob]

if he started it and was still breathing  could walk without crutches had both eyes still you did not over do it

Maybe so, but now that I think back on it, I could have broken his neck. That scares the crap out of me.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

Maybe so, but now that I think back on it, I could have broken his neck. That scares the crap out of me.

Yea i hear ya. Age does season your judgement

damn phone

[Scout26]

The roo_ster family anti bullying program include being nice to the other kids, but if any of them attempt to hurt roo_ster kiddos to hit back as hard as possible and hurt the instigator, eve if they do not "win" the encounter. 

Robert has the same instructions with the following caveat.  If he sees someone else being bullied he is to go to their defense.  Verbally at first and should that fail, then physically.  I have told that if he is in right either defending himself or another, then I will back him up 100% no matter what the school may say or do. 

[AZRedhawk44]

one way or another, that sort of stuff turned me into whatever it is that I am now.

Plus eleventy.  I trace my absolute disregard for "my betters" and lack of faith in "the system" to two incidents in life.  The middle school incident is one of them.

[lupinus]

My rules for this were simple; avoid it if possible, don't throw the first punch, and don't talk the other kid into throwing the first punch. The times I actually did get into a fight those were followed and I was backed up fully. Didn't happen often, I either won or was at least enough trouble that they moved onto easier targets.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

If i thought a fight was coming i started it. Hit first and as hard as i could. It was funny to see someone bigger cry " he hit me first"

damn phone

[Hawkmoon]

I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the new definition of bullying - when I was a kid, being a bully meant intitiating physical violence - verbal stuff was irrelevant and unimportant. ("Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.")

The best response to physical force is more physical force.

That so much is being made about words suggests that, as a country, we're making sure we raise a generation of wimps. Evidence is that schools will punish the target of physical bullying who fights back as much - if not more - than the bully himself.

True -- but not true.

Verbal -- and cyber -- bullying is a very real and very traumatic problem for the victims. I saw what it did to my adopted daughter when she started attending the local high school. Physical bullying is typically one-on-one (unless it's a gang, but that's a somewhat different issue). The psychological "bullying" can be devastating because it's widespread and ubiquitous. It's like shunning in the Morman church, or solitary confinement in the prison system -- except that those are passive. With cyber-bullying, they don't just shun the victims, they seek them out everywhere to continue persecuting them. The victims are isolated and "marginalized," and left thinking it's their fault that the in-crowd doesn't accept them. And others who aren't part of the in-crowd still won't intervene or befriend the victims, because they don't want to risk upsetting whatever level of detente they have reached with the aforementioned in-crowd.

[BlueStarLizzard]

True -- but not true.

Verbal -- and cyber -- bullying is a very real and very traumatic problem for the victims. I saw what it did to my adopted daughter when she started attending the local high school. Physical bullying is typically one-on-one (unless it's a gang, but that's a somewhat different issue). The psychological "bullying" can be devastating because it's widespread and ubiquitous. It's like shunning in the Morman church, or solitary confinement in the prison system -- except that those are passive. With cyber-bullying, they don't just shun the victims, they seek them out everywhere to continue persecuting them. The victims are isolated and "marginalized," and left thinking it's their fault that the in-crowd doesn't accept them. And others who aren't part of the in-crowd still won't intervene or befriend the victims, because they don't want to risk upsetting whatever level of detente they have reached with the aforementioned in-crowd.

And this has been going on long before there was an internet.
I think half the reason this has gotten to be such a big deal recently is because the internet just gave us a way to moniter what's going on.

People think of bully as that big, burly dumb kid that hits people and takes their lunch money.
Not the pretty, blond with straight A's and lots of friends who convinces her whole clique to box out and verbally humilate any kid she takes a dislike too.

[p12]

And this has been going on long before there was an internet.
I think half the reason this has gotten to be such a big deal recently is because the internet just gave us a way to moniter what's going on.

This with the added removal of home as being a safe haven. And the internet made wide spread exposure a lot easier and faster.

[cassandra and sara's daddy]

This with the added removal of home as being a safe haven. And the internet made wide spread exposure a lot easier and faster.

evidence is forever

damn phone

[Stetson]

As a kid that was bullied, I made sure my daughter wouldn't be.  Some kid tried to pull her under the slide and kiss her in pre-school.  She punched him in the throat.  She told me she was aiming for his nose but missed.  The admin at the school put her in 'time out' and called me. 

When I got there she was crying and the administrator started in on me.  I told her to be quiet until I was done talking with my daughter.  After her explanation I let the administrator explain to me why my daughter was not with the rest of her class like the boy was.  She was really unhappy with my reply to her.  "So my daughter has to accept unwanted sexual advances from a kid under your control because you are against outright violence?  I bet the local news is going to love this."  She was even more upset when I turned to my daughter and asked her if she wanted to go to Dairy Queen for a small sundae.

I was met in the foyer by the boys parents.  That was even more entertaining because my wife walked in moments later.  I won't go into it but we never saw that boy, or his parents, at the school again.

[AmbulanceDriver]

I got picked on/bullied quite a bit in middle school and jr. high, and some in high school.   I was the big/chubby kid, and I was the foreign kid (never mind that I spoke better english than they did, I didn't know the slang).  Plus I was a geek/nerd.  Triple whammy right there.   Even though I had taken Judo as a kid, my parents (and my instructors) taught me not to respond physically unless it was absolutely necessary. 

While I was in 5th grade, after having me come home nearly in tears nearly every day after school, my parents met with the principal.   Explained to him what was going on.  He gave them some nonsense about, "well, boys will be boys, and no one has witnessed this behavior, and blahblahblah..." (Oh, did I forget to mention that one of my biggest tormentors was his nephew?)  Well, Dad kinda came unhinged at that point.   He cut the principal off, and said, "Fine.  We have taught him that it's not right to respond with physical force unless it's absolutely necessary." Then he turns to me and says, "if these kids keep pestering you, and a teacher doesn't stop it immediately, then it's obviously necessary that you need to respond with physical force."  Principal got all puffed up about that, started blubbering about how I should turn the other cheek, etc....  Dad wheels on him and says, "He's turned the other cheek every day.  And you've done nothing to stop it.  If you don't want him to respond physically, then you better put a stop to this nonsense."

Well, sure enough, the next day, the principal's nephew starts in on me again.  I ignore his verbal taunts, and turn away, but then he pushes me in the back.  I wheel around, and I'm pretty sure this punch started somewhere down around my ankles, nail him with a b-e-a-utiful uppercut in the solar plexus.  Knock the wind out of him but good.  He's getting pretty panicked cause he can't catch his breath.   Takes him a good 30 seconds to start breathing again.   By this time he's got tears streaming down his cheek.  And the rest of the class is just staring in shock.... That one pretty much ended my problems with bullies in middle school. 

[Neemi]

Not the pretty, blond with straight A's and lots of friends who convinces her whole clique to box out and verbally humilate any kid she takes a dislike too.

Now I want to go watch Mean Girls!

I hate that kind of bully with a passion. I've seen it start as early as fourth grade among girls...

I never learned to retaliate (physically) until a few awesome college self defense classes, though I did know my school's system well enough to get a few kids suspended frequently enough that they stopped bullying me in an effort to avoid flunking the grade. 

[seeker_two]

Learning how to fight a paper war is just as important as fighting a physical one....

[sumpnz]

kids grade school has a new program to get adult men to sign up for 1 day a year to hang out at the school its called watchdogs. i'll let you know how it works out.
http://www.fathers.com/watchdogs

Did that when Thing 1 was in kindergarten.  Good program. Not sure how effective it is at preventing bullying, but just getting dads, and other male role models, involved is a good thing on its own.

[Ned Hamford]

Anti bullying classes teaches bullies how to work the system... reminds me of those legal ethics courses.

[Jamisjockey]

From my experience, the one and only thing that ended Bullying was a good sock in puss.

Here's another technique:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs

I love that the teacher waits for him to slam the little bully before stepping in 
That's how it should be done.

Living in mostly military towns actually kept the bullying to a minimum.  Kids weren't often there long enough to form solid cliques that  created that friction.  I did have a small bully problem in my 10th grade year.  Stabbed him in the thigh with a pencil. 
11th grade, I made friends with the offensive line of the foot ball team.  That probably clinched the rest of high school for me. 
Speaking of which, that might have been part of the low bully factor in my HS.....the football players didn't do the whole "jock vs everyone" thing, and would often beat down problem children in the school....

[Perd Hapley]

Now I want to go watch Mean Girls!

I hate that kind of bully with a passion. I've seen it start as early as fourth grade among girls...

I never learned to retaliate (physically) until a few awesome college self defense classes, though I did know my school's system well enough to get a few kids suspended frequently enough that they stopped bullying me in an effort to avoid flunking the grade. 

Take my man card if you will, but that movie has plenty of funny parts. Tim Meadows. Amy Poehler as the "cool mom." And most of all the home-schoolers. 

[RoadKingLarry]

Dad was Air Force, we moved a lot.
I had the pleasure of being "the new kid in school" 7 times by 8th grade. I had some experience with bullies and also with the teachers/admin that never saw anything till they saw me. Had a couple of interesting conversations with teachers at the school here in town, a couple of them were still there from my days. They were told that if my kids were physically assualted they had my explicit permission to defend themselves and had been taught how to do so effectively.

On a brighter note- Older couple that I've known since HS used to live down the road from my current place. At the time they were raising one of their grand daughters. Little snip of a girl, she's 20ish now and probaby won't tip the scales at much over 100#. Seems she had an incident in Tulsa a few days ago. Coming out of a bank she was accosted by a slime ball. Slimeball said "hey cutie come here". She told him to keep away. Slimeball didn't listen. When the cops showed up they pretty well had to pry her off of him and slimeball got a ride to the hospital. Seems little snip of a girl is now 4-5 different kinds of Blackbelt and teaches self defense as a side line.

[zxcvbob]

I know I've mentioned this before; the school and the bullies are secretly on the same team.

[Strings]

That ain't much of a secret