Author Topic: Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads (Read 7302 times)

Otherguy Overby · « **on:** January 20, 2009, 07:10:07 PM »

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!

- Alex

MicroBalrog · « **Reply #1 on:** January 20, 2009, 07:12:10 PM »

Duplicate.

Manedwolf · « **Reply #2 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:05:33 PM »

So he's posting that he:

Quote

I also bought myself some gas on your card.

1. Had poor defensive pistol technique.
2. Committed credit card fraud, which is an arrestable offense, felony, I believe.
3. Was planning to make a threatening call to law enforcement, which is also an arrestable offense.

Not that smart a guy, is he.

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #3 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:13:23 PM »

Umm, what was so poor about his defensive pistol technique?

Appears to have worked just fine...

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #4 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:20:48 PM »

Without a link, I raise my flag

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:27:03 PM »

Linky pointing to now-deleted Craigslist post (not hard to find, either):

http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982132493.html

Lbys · « **Reply #6 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:30:39 PM »

Yeah, there's that one, and also another:

http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982829270.html

Problem is, the original post isn't in CL anymore. I'm guessing somebody flagged it, for any number of reasons.

Also, the BS flag: not big enough. Could you make it larger?

zahc · « **Reply #7 on:** January 20, 2009, 08:47:42 PM »

It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.

MillCreek · « **Reply #8 on:** January 20, 2009, 09:35:41 PM »

Quote from: zahc on January 20, 2009, 08:47:42 PM

It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.

Bummer. As soon as I read the original post, I thought "this is best of craigslist material'. It did not occur to me that people would make fake posts in this regard.

Jamisjockey · « **Reply #9 on:** January 20, 2009, 10:26:42 PM »

Quote from: zahc on January 20, 2009, 08:47:42 PM

It's almost surely fake; people make posts like this all the time in hopes of getting on the 'best of craigslist' list.

I'm okay with good fakeies trying to get into the "Best of".

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #10 on:** January 20, 2009, 11:54:09 PM »

I'm stunned that any of you guys would believe that thing, even for a second.

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 21, 2009, 12:21:28 AM »

Who said we believe it?

Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS.

Physics · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2009, 01:05:13 AM »

Quote from: Gewehr98 on January 21, 2009, 12:21:28 AM

Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS.

Especially the physics threads. That is some scary stuff right there.

I like the BS flag Jamis.

Strings · « **Reply #13 on:** January 21, 2009, 11:52:31 PM »

To quote Spoon: "Whether it's true or not, it's f***in' hilarious!"

gunsmith · « **Reply #14 on:** January 22, 2009, 02:24:16 AM »

I used to put out fake personal adds all the time, full of gems like.

"its my remote"
"I like the toilet seat up"
"I have a job and a pulse, consider yourself lucky"
"I want to date a 22 year old supermodel, but you'll do"

The women on CL are very liberal, and I set out to yank their chains and be cantankerous and satirical, I even got a reply or two, mostly angry gALS THAT DIDN'T GET THE JOKE...ooops cap lock sorry

seeker_two · « **Reply #15 on:** January 22, 2009, 06:19:21 AM »

I like it....quite witty, but doubtlessly fake....

Quote from: Gewehr98 on January 21, 2009, 12:21:28 AM

Who said we believe it?

Hell, I don't believe half the stuff posted on APS.

Very true....I actually LIKE Glen Campbell....

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #16 on:** January 23, 2009, 02:31:19 AM »

Again with the Glen Campbell *expletive deleted*it...

Werewolf · « **Reply #17 on:** February 03, 2009, 04:56:26 PM »

Best Craig's list Post Ever

Like the OP says - probably bogus - but it is darn funny and well worth the read.

Enjoy!

MicroBalrog · « **Reply #18 on:** February 03, 2009, 04:59:36 PM »

duplicate.

RoadKingLarry · « **Reply #19 on:** February 03, 2009, 05:22:32 PM »

Quote from: MicroBalrog on February 03, 2009, 04:59:36 PM

duplicate.

Yeah but I got my post from another forum plugged here:)!

Gewehr98 · « **Reply #20 on:** February 03, 2009, 08:34:56 PM »

Merged topics.

"Those who forget APS history are doomed to repeat it"

Tuco · « **Reply #21 on:** February 03, 2009, 09:20:05 PM »

I could use a small vacation
But it don't look like rain.

News:

Author Topic: Craigslist Funny - Merged Threads (Read 7302 times)