Monastery of Silence

[jsalcedo]

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.


The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here

as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so".



Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest

said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years.



You may speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."




"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."


After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest.


"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.


"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the

food would be better i! n the future.




On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister

Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."


"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.


"It's probably best", said the Priest, "You've done nothing but complain

since you got here."

[grampster]

Oy Vey!!

Here is a worse one.

Horse walked into the bar.  Bartender said, "Why the long face."

[Declaration Day]

An Irish priest was driving down the road, drunk, with a half empty bottle of wine in the passenger seat.

He was pulled over and the officer asked, "What have you been drinking tonight?"

"Just water, officer." Replied the priest.

"Well what's that on your passenger seat?" asked the officer, pointing to the bottle of wine.

The priest looked at the bottle and said, "Lord, Jesus!  He's done it again!"

[LawDog]

Once Upon a Time a young monk went to the abbot. "Abbot," quoth the young monk, "I have a wee problem with this paragraph. I wish to compare this paragraph with the original."

"Sorry, my son," sayeth the abbot, "But only the brass are allowed to view the original text. If you would like, I will check the original for you."

The young monk thanks the greybeard profusely, and off the abbot wanders to compare and verify the text.

The day passes, the night passes, and three days pass--no abbot. Knee-scrapers start to get worried, then concerned, and finally pretty darn upset, so they form a search party and off they go.

They wander through the abbey cellars for an hour or so, then they hear weeping. Following the sounds of utter grief, they find the abbot--collapsed over a rare copy of the original Orders from the Boss Man Himself.

"Abbot," they cry, "What is wrong?!"

The abbot lifts his tear-stained face to the heavens and wails:  "It says celebr[/i]ate!"

*rimshot*

LawDog