Fjolnirsson,
Sorry for your loss. The last time I got attached to a cat (black, my favorite), she got run over by a car. I had a hard time with it.
Since we moved to the farm, I try to regard my cats as "disposable". The coyotes and owls do take a toll. However, my buddy "Clyde", a black, half Siamese tomcat has been with us about 6 years now, despite a run-in with an owl a couple years ago (5" gash down his back, vet fixed him up good as new).
Clyde is begging for loving right now as we speak. I'm not so sure I can regard Clyde as disposable.
Sorry for rambling, I know how you feel.