Author Topic: Prom, a story and a question (Read 10923 times)

TMM · « **on:** May 03, 2007, 11:04:19 AM »

Well, i grew the cajones to ask a girl i had my eye on to prom recently. i was quite happy with myself, since i'm rather shy and introverted when it comes to that. it worked out perfectly - when i asked her if she'd care to join me to prom, her whole face lit up and she had a big smile on her face. [oh, and she gave me a hug!]

"i've got a question for you. are you going to prom?"
"Oh, no, i can't because i'm a sophomore..."
"oh, i know, so how'd you like to go with me?"
*big smile, etc* "really?!"
"Yes, definately!"
"oh, yay! hug!"
*hugs*

yea... it was a good day.

So, the questions. i'm in the dark as to clothing, etiquitte, etc. the questions that i have off the top of my head are...
1) Clothing. i have a quite nice pinstripe [black with grey and dark blue stripe] two piece suit, which i am considering adding a matching pinstripe vest, if i can find it, or a simple black one. under that, a button up shirt and a tie. what color should those be? i was thinking all black, or throw some dark red in there. think that would be SUITable? [haha...] of course, my Knox grey felt fedora comes with. then to shoes: i've got a pair of black wingtips which i think would be good, or also oxblood semi-wingtip[shorter toe but still pointy]. any thoughts there? of course, i could rent a tux, but i want to stand out from the crowd and be a little different.not to mention, i think they're somewhat unsightly, hah.
2) my dad said i should get a corsage [sp?] for her. you know, those little flower deals. yes/no? comments?
3) i'd like to think i'm half-decent on etiquette, but anything i should keep in mind? opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc?

hmm... that's all i can think of. any other suggestions welcomed, of course.
thanks,
~tmm

Matthew Carberry · « **Reply #1 on:** May 03, 2007, 11:16:06 AM »

If you get a corsage, you may want to go with a wrist model. They usually come with pins if she wants you to let you stab her in the pec, but with many strapless dresses they don't work so well.

I'd avoid the black on black on black. It's "hip" but can make you look like you're going for "gangster".

Nothing wrong with a nice white dress shirt (wear a tee underneath). I'm not a big fan of vests with single-breasted suits myself. The tie should "pop", this is formal, but it is a party, have a little fun with it. Burlington has a nice selection of decent ties for not a lot of cash. Have you thought about a pocket square? That is stylin'!

Good choice on the Knox.

You might check out thefedoralounge.com forum for some ideas on accessorizing.

TMM · « **Reply #2 on:** May 03, 2007, 11:44:51 AM »

firstly, i'd go over to fedora lounge, but i have a yahoo email which they don't accept. i guess i could do some searches, but i don't think it would be as helpful. i do frequent the place though, i love it.

a wrist corsage eh? hever heard of it, i'll look into it.

white shirt, alright, can do that. would it be incorrect to wear a black tee underneath? i only have black, and one grey and one blue.

now, i'm awful with ties. the one i pick that i think looks cool could in reality be terrible. what general design should i go for?

pocket square. like those little folded up handkerchiefs? sure, i'd like one of those. is there a proper way to fold them, and where might i find some?

thanks,

~tmm

K Frame · « **Reply #3 on:** May 03, 2007, 11:44:54 AM »

When I went to my prom I dragged my formal mastadon skin out of the closet...

Talk to your friends and find out what they're wearing.

I, and most of my classmates, wore tuxes to our prom.

De Selby · « **Reply #4 on:** May 03, 2007, 12:01:13 PM »

Please don't be the guy with the imitation walking stick.

BrokenPaw · « **Reply #5 on:** May 03, 2007, 12:06:40 PM »

I wore a tux to my prom, many many moons ago, but there is nothing inappropriate about wearing a nice suit if you prefer (or if your bank account prefers).

I concur with the no black-on-black-on-black. In addition to making you look like a potential gangster-wannabe, it basically makes your face and hands be the only non-black parts of you. Especially if you're white or light-skinned, this makes your head look like it's floating and gives you disembodied hands. The effect is worse in a dark or dimmed room (as many prom ballrooms are).

I second the suggestion about a wrist corsage; there is nothing more unnerving than arriving to pick the young lady up with a standard pin-on corsage, and discovering that she's in a strapless dress, and her parents are expecting you to pin the corsage on her, and you have two equally bad options: You can stab her in the breast with a wicked-long floral pin, or you can guide the pin from the back, with your hand. Which means that you're putting your hand down her dress. In front of her parents. Depending on what sort of sense of humor her dad has, he'll either be laughing at you behind his hand, or reaching for his Mossberg.

No, I don't have first-hand (so to speak) experience in this matter, why? grin

As far as etiquette goes, this is a formal occasion, so formal etiquette applies: opening doors, holding her chair for her, and all of that. Caveat: If she objects to that sort of thing, don't push it. (For instance, if she gets to the door first and opens it for you, don't argue the point; it'll seem boorish...just thank her and move on).

Good luck and have fun...
-BP

TMM · « **Reply #6 on:** May 03, 2007, 12:28:12 PM »

hmm... ok, no pin-on corsage... that's done. definately a good point you bring up, brokenpaw.

i definately think i'll veer from the tux. it's too standard, and like carebear said, it is a party atmosphere, albeit formal. any more input on shirt/vest[?]/tie/shoes? FWIW, i'm relatively light skinned, ponytailed brown hair, about 6'2".

shootinstudent, whatcha mean by imitation walking stick? you just mean some cheap dime-store POS that has no style? don't worry about that, i probably won't be taking a cane, seeing i don't have one.

~tmm

Strings · « **Reply #7 on:** May 03, 2007, 01:53:10 PM »

Another vote for avoiding the black-on-black-on black look. I used it at school dances, but I was NOT in formalwear...

One suggestion on the tie: find out what color her dress is, and go with that. Match the pocket square there too.

And NO on the black tee: get thee to Sprawlmart, and spring for a pack of white tees (trust me, they WILL come in handy later in life).

etiquette? Be a gentleman, and everything else will fall into place...

Venus Envy · « **Reply #8 on:** May 03, 2007, 02:42:45 PM »

Oh, I loved prom. I went five years in a row. (Went with a friend who was a senior the year after I graduated.)

I recommend a tux if your bank account can handle it. Ask her what color dress she is wearing, and get a bow tie that will coordinate with it.

Yes, get her a wrist coursage. Have the florist make it to match her dress.

Make a dinner reservation for someplace nice. And be a gentleman. angel

Sindawe · « **Reply #9 on:** May 03, 2007, 05:22:20 PM »

Another voice for the tux over a suit. This IS a formal occasion and attire should match the occasion. The two proms I attended were two of the four times I've worn a tux in my life and it was money well spent in my opinion.

And another vote for the wrist corsage. Of course you open the door for you lady friend, and pull out chairs, fetch drinks and the like. If you can, make an evening of it go to a nice restaurant for dinner before hand, with reservations. DON'T pull the faux pas one of the underclassmen in my High School did and take your date to Arby's for dinner. rolleyes

Mabs2 · « **Reply #10 on:** May 03, 2007, 05:42:41 PM »

I never went to the prom.
Never cared to either!
But then again, I was a lonely bitter old man in high school.

charby · « **Reply #11 on:** May 03, 2007, 05:52:40 PM »

If you really like this girl...

Rent a tux, ask your date what color her dress is, if you can get a color swatch of her dress.

For the tux, get a dinner jacket, tails are fun but get in way. Go with black or dark gray. Use the color swatch to match it to a vest and tie. Black shoes, black socks and a shirt that is light in color but complements the tie and vest. Cummerbunds are a no-no and scream 1984. Skip the hat, cane and cape. Go for a classy look.

For dinner take her to a nice place you can afford, don't do any of the chain restaurants, try to find a locally owned place that is nice, doesn't have to be the most expensive but don't do a burger place.

Borrow you folk's nice car.

Roses are overrated, think about a orchid for a corsage, wrist corsage is the only way to go. She will probably get you a boutonniere for your lapel.

Be a perfect gentleman, open doors, refer to her mom and dad as mr or mrs <insert lastname>. Be willing to be in lots of pictures at her parents and at your parents.

Most of all stay sober, it will keep you from being a jackass, getting arrested and f**king up the rest of your life.

Enjoy the evening, PROM is probably going to be the first time you really formally dress up.

Matthew Carberry · « **Reply #12 on:** May 03, 2007, 05:54:35 PM »

It's formal, not necessarily black or white tie. There's no etiquette requirement for a dinner jacket at a prom.

The fedora IS classy. He's got a real Knox, not some hipster wannabe crap-hat.

White t-shirt young Jedi. Buy a 3 pack. I'd go with the black shoes for a formal.

Great suggestion by Strings on matching or complementing the dress color with the tie and square, However, you don't necessarily want the tie and square to be part of a set (there's ongoing debate, it is vintage, but some folks think it's gauche).

Black suit and white shirt, you can't go wrong with a white silk or linen square (Burlington has silk ones (of all colors) as singles and in sets with ties. There are a couple threads in General Attire and Accoutrements on pocket squares and how to fold or not fold them. I usually just stuff 'em in devil-may-care.

As far as which tie? That's tough without pictures. You could go with a solid color that ties into her dress or get one that has a pattern with a touch of her color in it, simpler is usually better. You can get a patterned square that picks up the tie and her dress.

The classic corsage, very vintage, very classy, is a gardenia.

Sindawe · « **Reply #13 on:** May 03, 2007, 06:29:44 PM »

Quote

Most of all stay sober, it will keep you from being a jackass, getting arrested and f**king up the rest of your life.

That bears repeating, so I repeat it again.

Quote

Most of all stay sober, it will keep you from being a jackass, getting arrested and f**king up the rest of your life.

Being a jackass or getting arrested on prom for DUI should be the least of your worries.

About nine years or so after I graduated from H.S. the younger brother of a H.S. friend supplied EtOH to some of his lower classmen buddies for their prom. All four (two boys, two girls) died that night in an automobile accident due to the driver being drunk. The younger brother spent some time in prison because of it, messed HIS life up and a few years later OD'd on some narcotic he was using as an escape mechanism.

Not trying to be a buzz-kill, but its best to NOT drink before/during/after such functions.

Headless Thompson Gunner · « **Reply #14 on:** May 03, 2007, 09:00:14 PM »

Only wear your suit if your prom is semi-formal. If it's formal then you need a tux. Go rent one. Pick whatever style suits you. If you like the ganster look or the vintage hat or the long tails or whatever else, wear it. A high school prom is about the only time you'll be able to get away with that sort of thing, so take advantage of it. Have some fun, get a little silly.

A wrist corsage is a necessity. Orchids make for a great corsage, but they're expensive. Make sure your florist doesn't embellish the corsage with all sorts of glitter and spray paint and ribbon and trinkets and crap. You want beuatiful flowers and greenery, nothing else.

The old chivalry-type etiquette (opening doors for her, standing at the dinner table whenever she stands, etc) are sorta sketchy these days. I've had women get pissy at me for doing that sort of thing ("I can open my own doors, thankyouverymuch!"). Best to start off the night making those gestures and watch to see how she reacts, then adapt accordingly.

General etiquette, being polite such-like, is mandatory. Be confident, courteous, and respectful at all times.

Give her parents their due. Introduce yourself, tell them your plans for the evening, and ask if they approve. If you have a cell phone give them your number.

Make dinner reservations NOW! Don't wait.

If your town has a nice chocolate shop or confectioners, taker your date there after dinner. Some men ply their women with booze, others with money. This is tacky and crude. Smart men use chocolate.

Don't hit your date over head with a sledgehammer. I learned that one the hard way. angel

Don't agonize over all of the details. Just relax. Go and have a good time. Don't take yourself too seriously.

Vodka7 · « **Reply #15 on:** May 03, 2007, 10:39:47 PM »

Well, I do recommend a tux , and heartily second the no-cane suggestion, but really, it's all up to you. Have fun with it! (Although, that said, remember that these pictures will last a *long time*. My grandmother brought out her photos of my dad in his long-tailed tux with tophat and cane until the day she died. Now my aunt's taken over that role

.)

As for the etiquette rules, I'd say go for opening the door (especially with the car), but most women I know are uncomfortable having a man pull out/push in their chair for them. Always offer her your arm; she'll be in heels and may or may not be used to them. Regardless, it's a thoughtful gesture.

Keep everything you could possibly need that night in your car--make sure you've got a huge golf umbrella in your trunk, along with a full change of clothes. Not formal clothes mind you, but something more comfortable for the post-prom parties. Don't forget sneakers.

If you are going to be drinking, make sure you and your date have a place to sleep it off. (Although, considering she's only a sophomore, it's a much better choice to skip the booze altogether and just make sure you each get home safe and sound.)

Also, be patient with your mom. Try on a million outfits. Take a million pictures. Let her pick the corsage. It's a pain, but prom isn't just for you and your date.

Ex-MA Hole · « **Reply #16 on:** May 04, 2007, 12:57:45 AM »

No white socks.

Ever.
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Suggestion for brownie points?

If she is wearing a dress, after you open the car door for her- DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP- HER DAD WILL BE WATCHING TO MAKE SURE YOU DO THIS- watch her. If she seems to even momentarily think about how to get in the car because of her dress, offer her a hand.

This simple gesture shows that you are actually thinking about her.

------------------------------------------------------------

As far as tie colors, etc. If you can swing it, I'd rent a tux. It's the right occasion.

If not, find a local "Gentleman's Warehouse" or "Simms" or place like that. Bring in your suit, and ask them to help you pick a tie.

White T-Shirt underneath. V neck one will work best.

The only other practical advice I have for you, my young friend, will take you far further than this night.

Listen to her. Your inate desire as a late teen will be to be cool in front of your friends. Remember, you asked this young lady to attend a formal dance with you. Treat her as a Queen, without being a jackass about it.

As a rule, I try to try a Woman as a lady, until she proves otherwise. That will get you far in life. If she is special to you, treat her that way.

Perd Hapley · « **Reply #17 on:** May 04, 2007, 03:07:48 AM »

I disagree with those who insist that you wear a tuxedo.

A well-chosen, well-tailored suit, made in the right style and color, can be very classy.

K Frame · « **Reply #18 on:** May 04, 2007, 04:38:34 AM »

"But then again, I was a lonely bitter old man in high school."

So was I, but I still went to the prom.

I'm sort of ambivilent on the corsage being a wrist model...

I accidentally nailed my date in the boob while pinning her corsage on her.

Later that night I got to kiss it and make it better. cheesy