Author Topic: An opportunity too good to miss!  (Read 1768 times)

Nathaniel Firethorn

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« on: June 14, 2006, 05:35:12 AM »
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,199315,00.html

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Soup-Fearing, Semi-Celibate Dude Wants You to Run His Life
FoxNews, Tuesday, June 13, 2006

So what do you do if youre a 35-year-old kazoo-playing dude from New Jersey whos afraid of soup and redheads, just moved out of your moms place and you havent had sex in two years?

Assuming, of course, that youre fool enough to admit those things to anyone but your imaginary friend, you could opt to share every sordid detail of your neurotic existence on a 24-hour Web show.

Kieran Vogel thought it was a good idea, anyway.

Starting Wednesday, Vogel will lock himself in a house in Monmouth County fitted with 32 cameras where experts will attempt to make him over and Web viewers will make all of his decisions for him, the New York Post reports.

OurPrisoner.com, billed as the first 24-hour interactive reality show, allows interested parties to choose what Vogel wears, whom he dates and what he does  all day long  as long as it occurs within the confines of his virtual prison.

It might sound dull, if it werent for the fact that Vogel happens to be & um & a bit eccentric. The freelance graphic designer who says soup is a morass of sickening food residue also fears public restrooms.

So much, in fact, that hes revolted if someone whos just used one walks his way.

Another ingredient in Vogels crazy pie is an absolute aversion to sweat  especially a womans sweat. He hates it so much, in fact, that he plays freeze-out with the AC when hes being active with a lady  no matter how infrequently that may be.

But at least hes trying. Vogel says he wants to be freed from his eccentric existence and find true love, and hes hoping that his stint as an Internet Prisoner might just do the trick.

During his confinement, hell have regular sessions with a therapist, a personal trainer, a cooking teacher and a dance instructor, among other coaches. Hell be set up on blind dates every week  all of which have to take place in the house  and viewers will get to vote on whom he goes out with again and who gets the boot.

If he can stand the pressure for the entirety of his six-month stay, hell get a new car and a $60,000-a-year job at BigString.com.
- NF
Give up no state. Give up no ground.

http://www.njcsd.org

K Frame

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2006, 06:25:24 AM »
OK, maybe I'm starting to buy all the people who claim it's the "end times."
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

garrettwc

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2006, 07:07:27 AM »
Wasn't this a movie?

Antibubba

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2006, 03:46:54 AM »
I don't think this guy is ready to face the truth:  He is so deep in the closet he can't even see the door.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

Gewehr98

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2006, 01:06:15 PM »
As stated previously, it's been done before, namely, The Truman Show, starring Jim Carrey.   Next...
"Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...

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jefnvk

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2006, 04:32:50 PM »
Wait, as a prize he gets a job?

He is a dumbass.
I still say 'Give Detroit to Canada'

Sindawe

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« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2006, 06:19:17 PM »
Afraid of redheads?  Geezzz...  Oh well, all the more for me. :evil:
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... find true love...
Watch, his true love will be a redheaded scorpio woman. LOL
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

garrettwc

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2006, 06:56:14 PM »
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Watch, his true love will be a redheaded scorpio woman. LOL
Who's a sweaty female body builder who volunteers part time in a soup kitchen. Tongue

cordex

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2006, 04:12:12 AM »
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Who's a sweaty female body builder who volunteers part time in a soup kitchen.
Specifically, she cleans the public toilets at the soup kitchen.

Fly320s

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« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2006, 05:19:05 AM »
He doesn't need a job, he needs a good chemical cocktail.
Islamic sex dolls.  Do they blow themselves up?

garrettwc

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An opportunity too good to miss!
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2006, 07:18:59 AM »
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Specifically, she cleans the public toilets at the soup kitchen.
Nice followup Cheesy