Stuff You Know If You Have An M-1 Garand:
It was last cleaned the last time you shot it. Its supposed to be lubed with lithium based Lubriplate, but in a pinch axle grease or Vaseline will do - unless you plan to fight at Chosin Reservoir, in which case a wipe with an oily patch will do. You can put the cleaning rod, combo tool, and little pots full of lithium grease/axle grease in the round holes under the trap door in the buttstock - but you better wrap them in cleaning patches, or the rattle will give your position away. Your fionish is parkerizing on the metal - except the gas cylinder, which is hot-blackened. The wood will have one of four finishes:
A. linseed oil
8. polyester
C. 1950 vintage crankcase drainings
D. Enemy blood and teeth
Your bullet will go through half an inch of armor plate - and that's the REGULAR M2 ball, not the AP. The buttplate has a cheesgrater texture, which not only adds insult to injury when butt-stroking, but can also grind coffee - especially if its in a bag between your shoulder and the gun when firing. You bayonet is either real long, or real short. It's either never been sharpened in its life, or been ground down to razor quality in preparation for a bayonet charge. Your sling is either classy, classic leather, M1907, or a cheesey crapy OD or tan cotton web belt. The cheesgrater makes recoil feel almost as bad as the Mosin. You know that John Garand, Captain Kirk, and Canadian Mist are the only three good things to come out of Canada. The only sights more accurate and adjustable than a Garand's are a National Match Garand's... or a sniper scope. You can color match replacement handguards and stocks with equal parts of governement red and green stamp pad ink. The only thing better than a 30-06 is a clip of eight of them - and yes, in this case, its a CLIP! You can angle your Garand so that the empties and clips hit the guy shooting the AK or AR agianst you in the match. If you can see it, you feel like its within range, with the possible exception of celestial bodies. You paid $400 for it through the DCM. If it breaks you order replacement parts from the DCM and fix it yourself, like a REAL man. To change calibur, either insert a .308 shell adapter which will un-install itself within 100 rounds, or go through the pain of replacing barrels. You either shoot white-box generic commercial, DCM suplus Lake City ammo by the box, or Greek, Turkish, or Korean surplus by the bandolier. If you do reload, you have to full-length resize, not just the neck. You clean it with Windex after shooting surplus Korean ammo - just in case. You rifle won the Big One, and got a draw in Korea. After a long day at the range, you relax by holding an ice bag on your shoulder and watching "Saving Private Ryan". After cleaning your rifle, you have a strange craving for ham and lima beans,..but you don't call them that. Late at night, you have a strange urge to watch "Mail Call" marathons...and chant "LMR barrel".