Raising a Generation of Compassionate Losers

[Werewolf]

Raising a Generation of Compassionate LOSERS

Interesting article decrying the pussification of America... well that's the gist anyway. The article is way better written then my crude summary of the thesis.

IMO it makes some well thought out points about competition. Buried between the lines is the very real notion that we aren't all equal. We don't all have the same physical nor the same mental abilities. Unfortunately some folks just can't comprehend or refuse to acknowledge that fact and thus the pussification of America is inevitable.

After you've read the article go to the web site and read some of the comments..

Your Thoughts?

Raising a Generation of Compassionate Losers
Oh America, What's Happened to You?

By little-whip
Posted Friday, October 27, 2006 on little whip's lair
Discussion: Politics

I saw a commercial the other day that disturbed me, and for the better part of the day I couldn't put my finger on exactly why it bothered me. I think I know now, and I'm going to try to express it here, but let me post a little disclaimer for the dense before I do.

This article is not going to be politically correct. It may hurt the feelings of those of us who have handicapped (or 'differently abled' -as putrid as I find that term) loved ones or who suffer from our own disabilities. That being said, I also want to make clear that I myself am considered disabled due to various health issues I struggle with, and so is my Husband, having been born with a severe deformity of His left hand and arm.

The commercial opens with the voice of a young boy, talking about his anticipation of winning a local soap box derby. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, a soap box derby is a contest in which youngsters build and race their own handmade and engineless 'cars', gravity and ingenuity being the only means of locomotion due to the fact that the race is downhill.

The boy narrating the commercial says something to the effect of "This year, I knew I was going to win, no matter what!" But then he witnesses a child being lifted out of a wheelchair to be placed in his own soap-box car, and the narrator changes his tune, saying.."But then I realized that there were more important things than winning. Including others."

Huh?

Let me ask you this, dear reader, why does anyone enter into any sort of competition if not to win? It's more important to 'include others' than it is to win? If that's true, why don't professional football teams draft the blind? Why don't we have the mentally retarded competing in the Indy 500? Let's face it folks, my one-armed Husband is never going to be a champion Oyster Shucker and my own arthritic ass is never going to be on the Olympic Gymnastics team.

The entire point of competition is to win, to be the best. Otherwise, it's just passtime we are engaging in, not competition.

Now, I can hear you asking yourself, "Why is she making such a big deal about this? It was just a soapbox derby!" In the first place, it's not that I advocate anyone, handicapped or not, being excluded from such competitions. By all means, get in there and participate if you are able, and win if you can! It was the message itself I took issue with, that it's far more important to be NICE than it is to WIN.

I see this self-destructive attitude taking hold in all facets of our society. Businesses are forced to hire and promote not the best candidates, not the most competent, the most able, but (in the name of diversity and niceness) those who 'deserve a chance' for no other reason than the fact that they ARE less able, or have been born to a historically disadvantaged class, ie: females, the handicapped, and minorities.

College admissions are no longer awarded to the brightest, and some institutes of higher learning are even considering the elimination of decent SAT scores as one of their admission criteria. Many elementary schools no longer give letter grades, because those who haven't earned 'A's might have their self-esteem damaged by getting a C or a D or, god forbid, an actual FAILING grade because they haven't learned the material.

We are too busy being nice to worry about being GOOD anymore, good, competent, excellent, outstanding. It's far more important to be nice than it is to win.

We can see the result of this attitude in Iraq now too, and the true cost can be counted in body bags.

America's economy is based on capitalism, and capitalism rewards winners, period. It is important to win, it's important to have the best services, the best product, the brightest idea, for this is what the marketplace rewards regardless of what our increasingly liberal government would have you believe. Honestly, would you purchase a shoddy product over a similarly priced superior one just because the makers of the shoddy product 'included' workers who were less than competant?

When you picked teams in school did you pick the slowest kids first? The ones who could be counted on to drop the ball, miss the shot, lag behind, or otherwise guarantee that your team lost because 'including others' was better than winning? Of course not, and as brutal as it can be (I was one of those non-athletic kids who always got chosen last) it *is* the way of the world. And while it was humiliating, it also spurred me to excel in those areas where I WAS gifted, academics, music, and writing. The jocks had their moment on the field, and I had mine in the classroom.

People are NOT created equal, and our Constitution doesnt make them equal in any respect other than in the eyes of the law, ie: the law is to be applied equally to each individual regardless of the circumstances of their birth.

In a perfect world, everyone would be included in everything, but reality is what it is, folks, and teaching our children that being 'nice' is *the* most important thing, more important than achieving personal excellence, more important than winning (Iraq, anyone?) then we are going to raise an entire generation of super-sensitive, uber compassionate LOSERS.

In closing, I'll remind you that the old adage "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game" is never uttered by those who have won. If you aren't playing to win, why play at all?

[CAnnoneer]

Perhaps part of the maturing process is to be taught a bunch of unconditional nonsense, which you disprove for yourself as you experience the stark reality. Those who do so become conservatives. Those who refuse to do so remain leftists.

[Mannlicher]

its always interesting to see the liberals socialists continual use of force to bring about social change.  Society works much like a market place.  Behavior that works, is rewarded, and  that which does not work, is punished.  In their zeal to force their world view on the rest of us, liberals break every 'rule' that they espouse.  The term 'liberal' is truely, an oxymoron.  Their derision and suppression of any word, voice, act or behavior not of their liking makes a mockery of the term they like to call themselves.

[bstrambo]

I look at it from the angle of the handicapped (or whatever).  If I was the kid in the wheelchair, I wouldn't want anyone to hold back on account of me.  I'd be out there to do the best I could.  If any whiny jerk stole my opportunity to truly win because they were holding back...I'd be pissed.

The sentiment of "its not all about winning" is supposed to mean that proper preparation and performing to the best of your ability is what is most important (that's all you can do).  If you don't win you correct your deficiencies and improve and go for it again.  My wife just joined an orchestra with a lot of college kids in it.  She plays flute and noticed the other 2 girls don't practice.  She was automatically put in "first chair" and gets the solos.  The other day one of the other girls asked if my wife would let her play a particular solo that was Irish music I guess.  Instead of practicing and earning it, the girl said she should let her play it because she has some Irish blood! Funny thing is my wife is just playing and practicing to her own standards, she isn't trying to compete with them, they just don't practice and expect entitlements.

[Standing Wolf]

I've noticed those who eschew winning tend not to finish first. I have a hunch the vast majority are simply calling, "Sour grapes!" before the contest even begins.

That said", does anyone really care what wimps so-called "think"?

[Antibubba]

See, I read the commercial differently.  Winning is good, no doubt.  Trying to win is more important than winning, even if it doesn't always feel that way.  There are a lot of examples the writer could have chosen.  I find it ironic and disturbing that the example the writer chose most likely was a commercial for the Boy Scouts of America.  Scouts work together.  They work as a troop.  It isn't a victory if the crippled kid or the fat one gets left behind in the interests of expediency.

It wouldn't surprise me if the writer is one of those Little League parents who's been banned from his son's games for aggression and profanity.  I worry much more about a society that seems to have lost all perspective about the place of winning.  I was taught to win, and lose, gracefully.  I was taught that's better to take on all comers, instead of maneuvering to disqualify someone who might be better than I.  Or trying to injure him, to "take him out" of the game.

This guy missed the point completely; America used to be the nation of Compassionate Winners:  The very fact that we encouraged so many to join our "Team", and that everyone could contribute their own unique talents as best they could, is what made America the Best Nation On Earth.

[Perd Hapley]

Maybe I'm one of these compassionate losers.  Self-pity and soul-searching follow:

I was never good at sports when I was in public school, and I learned to hate the stuff.  Generally, I'm just not a competitive or ambitious person.  Did I quit competing because I couldn't hack it and it made me feel better to decide that it didn't matter?  I don't know.  I also hated sports because I didn't know anything about it.  My classmates couldn't understand how I could be ignorant of this vital subject, and so they mocked me for it.  No one in my family watched or discussed sports, so I never knew the rules for football, or how to play any game, for that matter.  Being picked last, never succeeding and being mocked for any attempt to try doesn't help one to appreciate sports.  

Beyond sports, I've just never been interested in unimportant things like winning a kickball game or having a nicer car than someone else or winning a three-gun match.  I tend not to compare myself to what other people think I should do or have.  Now does that explain my antipathy for sports, or is it an effect of it?  

While still hate professional sports, and I think we would be better off without it, I do think games like football or soccer are good activities for school-children.  

[Guest]

Recognizing that all children won't excel in all things is fine, but competition and striving for excellence is what created this country.

What would be better is being able to recognize that all children, and adults, have strengths and weaknesses, and help them find their niche, rather than ban winning.

[Werewolf]

Children learn about life from play - it's an instinctive thing they do that prepares them for adult life on their own.

As adults we can afford to play just for fun; we've already learned life's lessons. Children, learning life's lessons cleverly disguised by nature as fun really don't have that luxury.

If during play children learn that it's not whether one wins or loses that counts but how the game is played then as adults they don't play to win.

In business that attitude can cost you clients, money or even your business.

In war it can cost you your life or even your country.

We all live in the REAL world and must deal with it accordingly. Unfortunately in the USA we've raised and continue to raise a generation of feel good, everyone's a winner, no one is a loser types that's going to end up costing us in the long run.

[Chris]

I've been coaching kids in soccer and t-ball for almost two years.  Four seasons.  I co-coach with a lady who teaches school.  We are both very competitive by nature.  Actually, she'shell bent for victory when she's playing.  When we coach, we make sure everyone has a chance to play, even the autistic child we had last season.  We try to teach the kids the skills, encourage them to play hard, and make sure they have fun.

But there have been some people...a coach that kicked the ball away from a girl on our team, stopping a break-away, and her only real chance to score that season, to show his kids how to do it.  Or the father that taught his kid to run through the player at first base to make sure he doesn;t catch the ball.

Some people take the wrong things too seriously, and then again, they take the wrong things too lightly.

It's just some people, I guess.

By the way, in working with the future generations through Scouts and sports, let me assure you that there are plenty of fighters out there still.  The wussies haven't won.

[Standing Wolf]

I didn't begin to shoot at all well until I began to compete. Ultimately, of course, one's one's own competitor, but I've found the effort of trying to succeed lets me shoot better.

[Art Eatman]

Antibubba, you might go back and read ALL the article.  It was written by an arthritic woman.

She's not talking about HOW you win, not about running through the First Baseman.  Nowhere is she talking about sportsmanship or fair play; she's not talking about sleazoid behavior.

She's talking in part about entering but not trying to win.  Why would the crippled kid not try to win?  He has as good a chance as the most athletic kid in the race, since it's based on car design and gravity.  There is no driver factor except to steer in a straight line.

When I was sports car racing, I knew I would rarely finish in first place.  I usually had the oldest car and I didn't spend the money that some others did.  But when that green flag dropped, I went hair, teeth and eyeballs to be in front of every other car I was able to beat.  Oldest car, oldest tires, oldest driver--but I regularly finished somewhere in 5th to 7th of over 25 entrants.  I found that being able to out-drive folks who really should have beat me was a real boost to my self-esteem--and I earned that; it wasn't given.

What the lady is also talking about is this politically-correct idea that there should be equality of results in some mythical non-competitive world.  The sad thing is that the world has always been a competitive place.  People are that way; it's part of our biological hard-wire.  We forget that at our peril.  This country, more than any other, was set up for equality of opportunity, where anybody should be able to advance on their talents and abilities.  Equality of opportunity means you and others are striving--and that automatically means competition; it's unavoidable.  Go job-hunting and find out. 

It's unimportant to me that I never got to be governor or president.  It's unimportant to me that I never got to be a millionaire or own hundreds of thousands of acres.  What's important is that had I wanted those things, I had the freedom, the opportunity to strive for those goals.  To achieve those goals means entering into a highly competitive world.  I was just too lazy.  I found the levels of competition in which I was emotionally comfortable--but I always competed to the best of my abilities.  Engineering, car racing, chess, hunting:  I competed with others and with myself.   Had a helluva lot of fun doing it my way.

But always competing.

Art