Author Topic: Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered  (Read 904 times)

White Horseradish

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Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered
« on: April 01, 2013, 02:26:32 PM »
"Kaspersky Lab", a leading manufacturer of computer security systems, announces the discovery of a new worm. According to specialists, in its complexity it far exceeds not only the currently existing malware programs, including professional cyber espionage and cyber weapons, but any other known software.

Disassembling and analysis of a new computer worm engaged the best experts "Laboratory" has, but they are faced with highly sophisticated computer algorithms and extremely refined coding.

"Never before had we had to deal not only with such levels of complexity and intertwining of machine code, but with such programming logic, - says Eugene Kaspersky. - For analysis of even the most sophisticated computer worms and Trojan horses our experts need a few weeks to a couple of months, but in this case, the complexity of the task can not be assessed. I know of no one software company capable of such development; even in theory, it can not be assumed that this code was written by man. Most malware is designed by various computer criminals for profit, some cyber attacks are just network hooliganism, and the most sophisticated attacks allegedly are backed by secret government services of different countries. In this case, it is neither the first nor second, nor the third. This code is inhumanly difficult; I am afraid that the worm has extraterrestrial origins."

Other experts at "Kaspersky Lab" studying the super-virus also lean towards the unearthly theory of the origin of this new computer malware. Interestingly, the first samples of the new computer virus were received by specialists at the end of February from the Chelyabinsk region, as well as from research organizations involved in study of the wreckage of the famous Chelyabinsk meteorite, which also is indirect proof of the cosmic origin of the new computer worm. For this reason the worm was codenamed "Chelyabinsk".

Experts also found the computers of the employees of Russian Academy of Sciences returning from Chelyabinsk to be infected. As it turned out, the assumption of an extraterrestrial the idea of extraterrestrial origin of the new computer virus has not caused them any surprise; moreover, the computer visitor from space confirmed some bold scientific hypotheses.

There is a hypothesis about the cosmic origin of life on Earth, according to which first protobacteria were carried to then-barren Earth by space objects, meteorites and asteroids. Russian scientists believe that the incident with the Chelyabinsk computer virus only confirms this. This is an obvious example of spontaneous trans-planetary movement not only of primitive forms of biological life, but also of computer worms.

Their fellow biologists comment on the event this way: "All of the known computer viruses and worms have been created by man. Here we are dealing with a new form of a digital entity. Meteorite introduction of alien computing life into an already populated network space of Earth is an demonstrative and fundamental event. It undoubtedly supports the theory of duality of biological earthly life, part of which arose independently, and part of which has been brought from the outside, through space. Thus, we can assume that today there exist three simultaneous parallel forms of organic life: the Earthly, the alien, and the hybrid. "

"The modern antivirus industry traditionally is ready to repel exclusively terrestrial computer attacks, and in this case we are challenged from space. I'm pretty sure that sooner or later the specialists of our company will be able to crack the alien code; in any case, the first trial "vaccine" will be released and made available to testing of members of the fan club of the "Laboratory" in the near future" - promised Eugene Kaspersky. - "But do not forget about other possible sources of threats from spaces almost unknown to man - underwater and underground. It is for this reason that the company has organized an expedition to the Kamchatka to the volcano Tolbachik, where a strong volcanic eruption is taking place. I personally intend to get involved in a project searching for computer viruses or their traces in fresh volcanic emissions. "

Additional information about the virus in Eugene Kaspersky's Chelyabinsk post at eugene.kaspersky.ru. "(C)


Translation mine, of course.
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TechMan

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Re: Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2013, 02:30:26 PM »
Good one....
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Hawkmoon - Never underestimate another person's capacity for stupidity. Any time you think someone can't possibly be that dumb ... they'll prove you wrong.

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Stupidity will always be its own reward.
Bad decisions make good stories.

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Doggy Daddy

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Re: Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2013, 04:38:44 PM »
So, they're saying Windows 8 came from a meteor?
Would you exchange
a walk-on part in a war
for a lead role in a cage?
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drewtam

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Re: Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2013, 04:40:30 PM »
meh
These kinds of jokes are funnier when they employ more subtlety.
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cassandra and sara's daddy

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Re: Online computer worm of extreme complexity discovered
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2013, 05:36:08 PM »
put it on facebook it'll go viral
It is much more powerful to seek Truth for one's self.  Seeing and hearing that others seem to have found it can be a motivation.  With me, I was drawn because of much error and bad judgment on my part. Confronting one's own errors and bad judgment is a very life altering situation.  Confronting the errors and bad judgment of others is usually hypocrisy.


by someone older and wiser than I