Author Topic: Jokie  (Read 3940 times)

Perd Hapley

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2012, 10:59:22 PM »
How many here are old enough to remember that song? 



Everybody's old enough to remember that song. I don't know why you old folks think that us young-uns somehow escaped the scourge of your frequently-awful pop music. It is ubiquitous.

Though, for the record, that song is not one of the awful ones.
"Doggies are angel babies!" -- my wife

Tallpine

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2012, 11:03:07 PM »

Everybody's old enough to remember that song. I don't know why you old folks think that us young-uns somehow escaped the scourge of your frequently-awful pop music. It is ubiquitous.

Though, for the record, that song is not one of the awful ones.

You remember the first time she sang it on Ed Sullivan show ???

 :P
Freedom is a heavy load, a great and strange burden for the spirit to undertake. It is not easy. It is not a gift given, but a choice made, and the choice may be a hard one. The road goes upward toward the light; but the laden traveller may never reach the end of it.  - Ursula Le Guin

Perd Hapley

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2012, 11:20:12 PM »
You remember the first time she sang it on Ed Sullivan show ???


Ed Who?  ;)
"Doggies are angel babies!" -- my wife

Monkeyleg

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2012, 12:50:53 AM »
Fistful was too busy watching the Milton Berle Show to pay attention to some young punk like Ed Sullivan.

Scout26

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Nerd Jokie
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2012, 04:15:01 PM »
Seen on a red bumper sticker in the Library parking lot:

"If this bumper sticker is blue,
you are going too fast."
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

bedlamite

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #30 on: September 03, 2012, 02:32:26 PM »
I came in from working on the bike last night and found a note on the fridge. It said, "It's not working, I can't take it anymore. I am going to stay with my mom!!". Well, I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer is still cold. It works fine, I don't know what the hell she is talking about. Women, who can understand them?
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RocketMan

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Re: Jokie
« Reply #31 on: November 07, 2012, 10:27:20 PM »
The spoon:

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.  It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.  Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.  When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.  After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.  It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.  "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."  I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.  Looking around, I saw that all of the male waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice.  "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we men can save time in the restroom.  By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."

I asked quietly, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."
If there really was intelligent life on other planets, we'd be sending them foreign aid.

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

Liberals believe one should never let reason, logic and facts get in the way of a good emotional argument.