Many of these people are your customers, Brad. I'm surprised you have so much contempt for them. They're paying a so-called 'professional', in good faith, to represent their interests. They deserve fair and ethical treatment, no matter how 'dumb' they are.
This is exactly why we need government regulated consumer protection laws.
The contempt comes from seeing someone (several someones, actually) actively choosing to ignore straightforward advice and counsel given in good faith. If someone jumps off a cliff after being directly warned it's a bad idea, that's their problem, not mine. I patently refuse to accept any professional or personal responsibility in that situation. I also refuse to sympathize with their plight. It's their mess, let them clean it up. Maybe they'll learn something.
As for my conduct, it will
always be fair and ethical. Regardless of their choices during the transaction my professional counsel, and the reason for it, will not change. They will still get the best advice I can give based on the best information I have available. But "fair and ethical" doesn't include bailing out some dipstick after the fact for mistakes they
chose to make. Mistakes that directly conflicted not only with my advice but also with common financial sense.
So, no. No sympathy unless they were truly and deliberately mislead (which, in the majority of cases I'm personally aware of, was simply not the case).
All borrowers are required to sign a "Good Faith Estimate" which has all the fees listed, it also has the monthly payment listed broken down into principal & interest, taxes, and insurance. If the mortgage is adjustable there are other documents they must sign explaining the adjustments.
It's all there in black and white, if the borrower signs it's their own responsibility.
You want to know something really amazing? Most conventional borrowers, especially those who've bought and sold a home before, will grab the GFE right off the bat and hang on to it for dear life. Most b-paper borrowers could care less. One glance and it's trashcanned. The only thing they care about, or care to hear any way, is what the monthly payment will be. And by "don't care" I mean exactly that. They will beat you to death over the monthly payment to the exclusion of all else.
I try, I really do, to get these folks to understand what they are getting into. But when you've explained something for the umpteenth time only to have it fall on deaf ears you become a bit jaded. At some point you lose faith in their desire to fully (or even partiall, for that matter) realize their situation. You're still going through the motions - explaining, providing contrast and perspective - but you can tell by their eyes they simply don't care. All they want to do is to show up at the title company, sign some stuff, get their keys, and leave. Personally I'd like to slap them back into consciousness and grill them until I'm satisfied they grasp some level of their obligation. Unfortunately I can't do that. All I can do is fulfill my duties and fully and professionally as I can, then walk away.
Brad