-Now I have alway said : I keep telling you folks I ain't that smart". Way I figure it one is always learning. If one announces they have "arrived" - Immaturity just showed up.
- Cisco Systems used the term "Digital Divide". Basically the gap which exists between folks using computers, Internet and such technologies and those whom do not. Now I admit I put off learning about such technology. In my "short time" :
"Information Age means folks can now pass forward stupidity at a much faster rate to a broader audience.
-Internet Forums: People really do not want answers - they want to qualify and confirm what they bought, have or do.
-Does not matter how advanced / computerized the cash register at fast food joints get - one can still blow minds and get "Need a Mgr to the register" , by producing change after the clerk has entered "amt tendered".
-Aforementioned is a favorite passtime of mine btw...
-Makes no difference if a kid has never been to a certain fast food joint, the adults will hear " bestest food - my favorite - really..."
-Next week this will change of course when the kid toys at another place are "cooler" or "neater".
-The eatery with only 1- 4 colors, and one sheet to color for the kids will always suck over the one with 5 colors, multiple sheets, a puzzle and find the hidden animals...
-After a kid has gone to a eatery, average is 3 blocks before " I'm hungry"
-Kids will ask if there is anything to eat before you get finished cleaning the kitchen from the meal just finished.
-The distance the paper delivery person misses the front porch is proportional to how sick/ ill one is and cold, wet, or how snow has occurred. Explains why come spring thaw one has all them papers all over the yard, behind brush, in the rain gutter...
-Buying mega box of toliet paper at a box store does not save money. You end up having to buy shelves and put in garage or install a ladder and flooring to store in attic.
-You will still be sitting on the pot with one sheet left on the roll , nobody home to bring you a roll.
-Motion detectors cause bird dropping on porches in the summer. The light draws bugs, bugs die, birds eat bug at dawn and poop on porch.
-Never put a bird feeder on a porch over steps either...
-A plastic snake in the rose bushes will not keep critters away - you will scare the pants off a yard man tho'.
-When taking a shower "someone" will always flush the toliet causing one to get scalded - "Nobody" did it you are informed as you scream in agony from the bathroom...
-One always has to pee when the best part of a TV show, movie is about to happen.
-Kids never have to go the bathroom until 1/2 mile down the road from where everyone just went to potty.
- Makes no matter how many diapers one has - 2am seems to be the time everyone has to run out and buy some.
-And you thought your jammies were weird...
-One always meets someone they know at a store when not wearing make-up,have not shaved, been working in the yard , hot sweaty, wearing grubby clothes, buying condoms,tampons, fly unzipped, bra strap breaks, heel comes off, credit cared not accepted....
-NO matter how many batteries one has, always wrong size one needs, or shy of just one to get something to work.
-One will spend $35 minimum using a shopping cart , $20 for a handbasket, or $10 just carrying stuff in hand in a store. Makes no matter if you just went in to get a loaf of bread, or ask what time the donuts will be done baking.
-There will NOT be a penny for YOU to use at a register when you need one - there will be $2 worth when you don't need one.
-Cash registers run out of register tape when you are in a hurry.
-A child will forget 3 minutes ago you asked them to pick up their socks. Same child will remind you 3 wks ago at 2:47: 23 you promised them ice cream, a toy, a treat, a...a...
-Folks that do not have a working spare or jack can travel 800 miles and never have a flat. The person with 4 new tires wearing nice business suit in a hurry will have one in the driveway .
-If you really really need a certain item in store do NOT go to a store expecting to find it - it won't be in stock. Instead pretend you need something else much much more; take your time, gawk...then snatch that sucker you really needed. You just thought dryers hid socks...whole stores do this.
-If you have to go to a boring party, make friends with the host' kids. They know where mommy and daddy hid the good booze.
