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Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: P95Carry on April 23, 2005, 05:50:15 PM

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: P95Carry on April 23, 2005, 05:50:15 PM

I am sure we had a thread on old RT before - and seem to remember some classic techniques.

Mrs P95 usually lets em get started, says ''hang on'' and then goes to get on with whatever. Usually by time she gets back to phone they have given up!

Other thing was IIRC - if they say is that Mr.X or Mrs Y - tell them no - and give another name before cradling phone back in place.

Oh and - the pretence of being ill - was I think another. There are many I am sure.

Remind me of all the others?

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: mtnbkr on April 23, 2005, 05:57:38 PM

Back when I answered the house phone, I either hung up on them, sat the phone down, or fed them a large helping of BS. Now that my daughter is starting to talk, I might be tempted to hand her the phone (she loves to talk on the phone). However, since we don't answer the house phone, we never talk to the bas...I mean telemarketers anymore.

Chris

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: P95Carry on April 23, 2005, 05:59:50 PM

Oh my - young child - love that idea. Have to remind my son of that as grand daughter gets to talking! cheesy

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Guest on April 23, 2005, 10:30:24 PM

I have a tendancy to yell foreign-sounding gibberish into the phone untill they hang up. This cuts down on the repeated calls as well. Alternatly I have tried to sell THEM some exciting new item that will change their life.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: jamz on April 23, 2005, 11:09:49 PM

it's fun to say "Hello? Hello? a couple of times at first. THen, when they get a few sentances in, say "I'm sorry, could you speak up? I can just barely hear you". Repeat every 15-20 seconds. Be very apologetic. Repeat phrases just slightly off. "It's a ten percent fail? Mail? Pale? Oh, SALE!" Menion your hearing loss. Be very interested nevertheless. Repeat. See how loud you can get them to shout. See if you can get their officemates to stare and laugh at them while they shout, redfaced, into their headset.

Actually, I've never done that. I stopped feeling bad about a simple immediate hangup a long time ago. And I've done telemarketing too.

Love, James

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Jamisjockey on April 24, 2005, 02:42:34 AM

"Put me on your do not call list immediately. I keep a log of all calls, and any further contact from your company will be reported immediately."

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Nathaniel Firethorn on April 24, 2005, 03:58:48 AM

Mrs. P95 has it right. The Cheapistani teledroid on the other end doesn't know whether to hold on or give up -- and since they're often paid on commission they're really sweating and swearing!

If you wanna play it straight, just say "We accept no telephone solicitations. Put us on your do-not-call list immediately."

Also, BTW, never have a listed number that rings a phone.

- NF

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: BryanP on April 24, 2005, 04:51:01 AM

"Hi. I've been waiting for your call. What are you wearing?"

Bonus points if they're the same sex as you.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: DigMe on April 24, 2005, 06:37:01 AM

First thing you do is sign up on the national do not call list.

Now that I get my phone service through Voicepulse VoIP though they have a service where you can not only auto-block calls that are anonymous but you can also enter in certain phone numbers online (which I get from my caller ID) that when those numbers call back you can choose what they hear. The choices are a busy signal every time, a message saying the line has been disconnected (which is my usual choice), I think one that just rings but you don't actually get the ring on your end or you can have them redirected to some free service that plays silly messages to solicitors. This call blocking option is really very handy. There was this one number that used to call us sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. It was a recording asking for some lady that doesn't live here. It gave you an option that says "If this is the wrong number press 4" We did that more than once and continued to get calls from them. As soon as I got voicepulse, which includes caller ID, I threw that number in the call-blocking list and haven't heard from them since. It's a nice option.

brad cook

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: P95Carry on April 24, 2005, 06:48:42 AM

Some further nice ideas. Brad - gotta love your system - that is soooo versatile

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Vodka7 on April 24, 2005, 08:28:36 AM

Do people still have a problem with telemarketers? I signed up for the Do Not Call Registry when it went live, and honestly since then I haven't gotten any sales calls, except for a few candidates begging for money around election times.

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Larry Ashcraft on April 24, 2005, 09:00:22 AM

Tom Mabe is the absolute best with telemarketers: http://www.tommabe.com/

I have his first cd and you have reminded me, I need the second one.

Carpet cleaner calls: "Can you remove blood? I've got blood everywhere, the floor, the walls, the furniture! Can you come out right now? I'll pay double, in cash! No, no, don't call the police!" Cheesy

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: garrettwc on April 24, 2005, 09:35:40 AM

Quote from: Vodka7

That only applies to telemarketers where the call originates inside the U.S. Ours stopped for a few weeks then started up again with calls from Canada.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: ...has left the building. on April 24, 2005, 10:48:58 AM

If I have the time, I let them pitch me so I can talk them out of selling me something. It sharpens my negotiating skills.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Waitone on April 24, 2005, 06:15:05 PM

Yea, that's about right. National do not call worked until they could write contracts with foreign countries so now it is out of India, Bangladesh, and Mexico. I got a call from a dood with a HEAVY Mexican accent selling Direct Satelite TV. Claimed he was in the US even I told him he was violating the federales law.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Sylvilagus Aquaticus on April 24, 2005, 08:35:36 PM

Thanks for bringing up Tom Mabe, Larry. He's made a good living out of hijacking telemarketers.

I've learned a few things from him myself...

Timeshare/vacation package/buy something on credit callers?..."GREAT! I just filed Chapter 7 last week and I HAVE GOT to buy something...anything! to get my credit back up...do you do 'no-down, deferred payment, send-it-right-over'? Great...man, everything just went down the tubes after I got fired from that bank officer job I had and then the lawsuits...then the rehab treatment center...geez...you have made me SO HAPPY!"

Newspaper subscriptions..."Got a Braille edition?"

Regards,
Rabbit.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: p35 on April 25, 2005, 05:08:22 AM

Before the "do not call" list, I started asking for a credit card number to pay for my time listening to the pitch. Left some of them speechless.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: spacemanspiff on April 25, 2005, 08:16:44 AM

ask them if they are ready for armageddon? if not, try to sell them subscriptions to "Watchtower" and "Awake". reiterate that you arent like those 'other' crazies that also go door-to-door.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Azrael256 on April 25, 2005, 09:52:07 AM

This makes me want to tape my next encounter with a missionary so I'll have some good material.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: P5 Guy on April 25, 2005, 01:15:20 PM

I used to like playing with them, but since the do not call list started I hardly get anymore calls. My favorite was for refinancing my VA mortgage. I've never been in the military so no VA loans for me but I had the same guy calling me every couple of weeks. So I stopped being nice and did a long sob story about being a 4F and really want to be in a war. The next time the same guy called I went off the deep end on him about how ashamed I was that i failed the physical and his bringing it up all the time was making me crazy. The last call from the same guy ended with him recognizing my voice and hanging up on me.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: crt360 on April 25, 2005, 05:01:18 PM

I rarely answer my home phone. I don't even have the ringer turned on. I leave the answering machine on with the volume up so I can hear any important messages (things like "your house is on fire" or "there's an angry mob in your front yard"). Pretty much everyone that knows me calls my cell phone or work. My secretary does an excellent job of screening calls at work.

Back when I was in school (before caller ID), I politely told them I didn't have any money, but if they had some free stuff with no strings attached, I'd take it.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: stevelyn on April 25, 2005, 07:32:32 PM

CLICK!

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Monkeyleg on April 26, 2005, 01:50:30 PM

We've been on the no-call list for well over a year.

Prior to that, I would play with them. Talk like an eighty-year old, lonely man, and run down the list of health problems I was having. They'd hang up on me.

One call I got went like this:

Telemarketer: "Congratulations, Mr. Monkeyleg, you've won!"

Me: "Won what?"

Telemarketer: "Free dance lessons at Arthur Murray studios!"

Me: "This is a joke, right?"

Telemarketer: "Oh, no. This is for real."

Me: "Bill put you up to this, didn't he?"

Telemarketer: "There's no Bill here. This is for real!"

Me: "Okay, then Mark put you up to it, right?"

Telemarketer: "Why don't you believe me?"

Me: "Because I lost both my legs in a motorcycle accident."

Telemarketer: (long pause) "Well, is there someone else in your household who would like free dance lessons?"

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Strings on April 26, 2005, 07:51:06 PM

Actually Dick... yes, yes I DID put them up to it. I told them you'ld look good in a tutu (the lie that will send me to Hell)... Evil

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Gun Runner on April 26, 2005, 10:01:52 PM

I used to like to listen to the pitch, play along, act very interested, have them explain EVERYTHING, repeatedly, then finally tell them I just can't afford it and hang up.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: lee n. field on April 28, 2005, 06:08:15 PM

Quote

Tom Mabe is the absolute best with telemarketers: http://www.tommabe.com/

"Wake that kid up, give him my id and my car keys and send him out for some beer ." (talking to police benevolent assn. telesales droid).

Improv comedy. Tom Mabe's kind of crude, but very funny.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: InfidelSerf on April 29, 2005, 07:20:40 AM

I would not reccomend volunteering yourself for the "national no call list"
That list has already been hacked once this past year.

The best way to avoid them and the best way to use a telephone in my opinion, is to shut off all your ringers and pay for caller ID

I don't answer a call if I don't recognize the number.. and anyone who really needs to get ahold of me knows to either IM me or call hang up.. call hang up and call again.

I absolutely refuse to "jump" whenever that damn phone rings.
Personally I hate phones. No cell phone for me.

On that note most telemarketers have a rules that dictate they can not hangup before you do. So answering saying hello and then setting the phone down will leave them frustrated.. because they have to stay on the line till they get their supervisor over to confirm the hangup.
That said there is also another method.

Answer.. once you've established its a sales call so no thanks and hang up.
Its really not that hard to hang up on them and they are all used to it and expect it.

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: K Frame on April 29, 2005, 07:50:42 AM

"Back when I answered the house phone, I either hung up on them, sat the phone down, or fed them a large helping of BS. "

I still remember the night I called your cell phone and tried to sell you, as a 501C3 company, aluminum siding for your cemetary plot.

You'd think that would have tipped you off, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You were far too busy getting righteously pissed. cheesy

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Strings on April 29, 2005, 01:35:48 PM

Note to self: never give Mike Irwin my phone number... Tongue

Title: Tele sales ''kill' methods?
Post by: Azrael256 on April 29, 2005, 06:48:10 PM

I like to answer the phone in a foreign language, preferably one that doesn't exist. Then, attempt to converse as if the telemarketer were a long lost relative.

Armed Polite Society

Main Forums => The Roundtable => Topic started by: P95Carry on April 23, 2005, 05:50:15 PM