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Funny Iowegian Article

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charby:
I still can't believe they ran this story in the Des Moines Register. Pictures with the link.

RAGBRAI- Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (excuse to party for seven days)


http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060725/NEWS/607250425/1001

Great balls of fire! Look at those!
By REID FORGRAVE
REGISTER STAFF WRITER


July 25, 2006



Audubon, Ia.  Testicles.

The word itself, a mere three syllables long, is easy to pronounce.

But for RAGBRAI riders who rode into Audubon Monday evening and came upon the towns crown jewel, Albert the Bull and his impressive bits, the word became nearly impossible to actually say.

Ive never seen anything quite like it, said Betty Shea of Iowa City.

Ive seen in the paper that its the largest anatomically-correct bull in the world.

She paused and peered in the general direction of the bulls bits.

That seems to be about right, she said.

Hes pretty well-endowed, her husband Mark Shea said.

Indeed, Albert is most definitely that.

At 45 tons  thats 90,000 pounds  and standing 30 feet tall, Albert is about five times as large as the Hereford bull hes modeled after. Hes 42-years-old, is visible from two miles away along the highway and is visited by 20,000 people annually.

And among the teens of Audubon County, Alberts eye-high naughty parts that dip close to the ground are a favorite target for vandalism and new paint jobs.

As RAGBRAI came through town Monday, Alberts cajones were a natural tan hue. His neck was adorned with a festive necklace made of 100 brightly colored tennis balls.

All day and well into the evening, riders and revelers stopped by Albert, whipped out their cell phone cameras and posed with the big bull and his big balls.

The bull nuts are going to fall off, said Rich Wince, 28, of Grinnell, as he posed for a picture by bear-hugging Alberts boys.

His friend, 27-year-old Jim Kirkman of Des Moines, snapped a photo of his friend and then posed for a picture of his own.

I like how one hangs lower than the other, he said. Its very & realistic.

Speak for yourself, dude.

Not everyone quite understood the function of Alberts marbles.

My daughter said, Oh, mom, this is where milk comes from said Becky Kuckta of Council Bluffs, sitting in Amberts shade. Shes only 5.

But for Chris Frey of Denver, Colo., Alberts impressive pair was more than just an anatomy lesson.

It represented dinner.

Those are some real Rocky Mountain oysters right here, he said to his friends. We eat nuts out in Colorado all the time. Theyre actually pretty good. Seriously, you should try to eat some" - and then, finally, the word so many shied away from  testicles sometime.

K Frame:
Slow news day in Iowa.

REALLY slow news day...

charby:
Always a slow day in the news of Iowa, unless Famer Brown's award winning bull falls in a well. Had a pretty good run of homicide stories in May and June, but the killings stopped so time to talk RAGBRAI.


-C

Fly320s:
That's a nutty article.

K Frame:
You have to admire the editor for running such an article -- it shows that he's really got balls.

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