JW's just got me!

[Perd Hapley]

Dang this vacation!  Next time I take off time from work I'm gonna go somewhere, instead of doing schoolwork at home, waiting for door-to-door evangelists.

[Balog]

Open door, tell them you aren't interested, close door. Oh teh noes, 45 seconds wasted!!!

[Perd Hapley]

Open door, tell them you aren't interested, close door. Oh teh noes, 45 seconds wasted!!!

Pretty much.  Told them it wasn't a good time.  (When is it?)  Took their "literature," though, just to waste their money. 

Or does that help their quota?   

[Balog]

Give em a Jack Chick pamphlet in return. :D

[AJ Dual]

Act real interested, and keep asking them repeatedly how many "wives" you get with "their system", and how young they are. When they insist they only have one spouse of an appropriate age, dismiss it, saying you know there's only one "legal" one because the ZOG only gives out one marriage license, and wink and ask how many you really get...

Keep a straight face.

[Balog]

I think the lesson we can all learn here is fistful needs to stop whining. :D

AJ: wouldn't that work better with Mormons?

[red headed stranger]

There was a pretty large contingent of door-to-door evangelists of various stripes in my University's town. My roommates and I would always be very polite for a few minutes and then tell them very earnestly that their religion wasn't our cup of tea, but we knew someone else that would be very interested in their message. We would then give them the name and address of one of our heathen friends. The evangelists would always very grateful to be handed a lead on some new souls to save.  

It was a fun way to harass our buddies.  

[AJ Dual]

AJ: wouldn't that work better with Mormons?

No, you use it on EVERYBODY.. The more out of context it is, the better.

[41magsnub]

Ask them if there are only so many seats into heaven as they interpret it, and since you would be a new guy, what your chances are.  If you get the short end of the stick can you have their seat since they got you into the whole mess?

[Perd Hapley]

I think the lesson we can all learn here is fistful needs to stop whining. :D 

Never. 

The kicker?  My pastor goes out door-to-door "calling" almost every day.  Because the book of Acts says the early church did it, see?  Yeah, it's right there in the Bible. 

[Balog]

Based on what you've told us, you really need to find a new church dude.

[Scout26]

Based on what you've told us, you really need to find a new church dude.

They slam their door in his face....

[Scout26]

Act real interested, and keep asking them repeatedly how many "wives" you get with "their system", and how young they are. When they insist they only have one spouse of an appropriate age, dismiss it, saying you know there's only one "legal" one because the ZOG only gives out one marriage license, and wink and ask how many you really get...

Keep a straight face.

I'll have to try that....

[vaskidmark]

I got into trouble with the Mormon missionaries several years ago for inviting them in to cool off in the AC, then offering them their choice of beer, coke, or coffee.  Was actually blacklisted - they were not allowed to knock on my door any more.  I was devestated when I learned that.

Since dear old dad made me learn about as many different religions as possible (in his attempt to convince me they were all hokum) I had read the Book of Mormon several times and been tested on the contents.  Came in handy when I suggested to the door-to-door salvation salesmen that what they were telling me might not be quite correct.  I'd offer to get my Book of Macaroni and factcheck.  The spluttering they did when they realized it was not a mere mispronunciation on my part was priceless.

Apparently there is some hobo hex sign on my door now, as I often see folks start up the walkway then suddenly stop, peer closely at the door, and turn away.  Honest - I do not have targets taped to the door, or barrels sticking out of firing ports (although that's not a bad idea in general) or anything else like that.

I, unlike Fistfull, do not complain about my plight.  I have become resigned to it.

stay safe.

skidmark

[AJ Dual]

Oh, it's also just ocurred to me that our doorbell is broken and has been for years.  No idea how many solicitors I've missed.

Much like I haven't missed having a public landline phone for the past eight years or so.

Makes taking deliveries a bit dicey, but with all the kids I've been too poor to have "good things requiring adult signature" come off of the Big Brown Truck for several years anyway.

[Perd Hapley]

Based on what you've told us, you really need to find a new church dude.

Well, yeah.  The hazards of marrying a girl who's been heavily involved with a slightly off-kilter religious group since she was fifteen.  It could be worse.  She could still be a nominal Catholic.   

[Iain]

Ask them if there are only so many seats into heaven as they interpret it, and since you would be a new guy, what your chances are.  If you get the short end of the stick can you have their seat since they got you into the whole mess?

From what I remember that isn't quite the 'gotcha' people think it is. Some go to heaven, the rest remain on the New Earth. (Someone will tell us if I'm wrong)

I don't know if there are an JWs on the board, don't wish to cause offence, but the whole blood thing is the weird bit for me.

[41magsnub]

From what I remember that isn't quite the 'gotcha' people think it is. Some go to heaven, the rest remain on the New Earth. (Someone will tell us if I'm wrong)

I don't know if there are an JWs on the board, don't wish to cause offence, but the whole blood thing is the weird bit for me.

It's more fun my way!

[Marnoot]

From what I remember that isn't quite the 'gotcha' people think it is. Some go to heaven, the rest remain on the New Earth. (Someone will tell us if I'm wrong)

I don't know if there are an JWs on the board, don't wish to cause offence, but the whole blood thing is the weird bit for me.

I believe that's correct. As in "the meek shall inherit the Earth." They believe the ones that get to be on earth are still getting a sweet deal, they're just not one of the chosen that go to Heaven.

[Standing Wolf]

The truly stupid door to door evangelists and non-English-speaking kids trying to hustle the local fish wrapper can't read my "No Soliciting" sign.

It must hurt to be that stupid.

[Scout26]

I believe that's correct. As in "the meek shall inherit the Earth." They believe the ones that get to be on earth are still getting a sweet deal, they're just not one of the chosen that go to Heaven.

Sounds like Zardoz.....

(If mentioning Nazi's is Godwining a Thread, then I propose that mentioning Zardoz is "Irwining" a thread.)

 

[Jamisjockey]

Pretty much.  Told them it wasn't a good time.  (When is it?)  Took their "literature," though, just to waste their money. 

Or does that help their quota?   

Wrong answer.  They will be back.

[MicroBalrog]

Are you trying to tell me T-800's were initially a line of solicitor-bots?

[RaspberrySurprise]

My tendency to answer the door in only my boxers helps keep such things brief and rare.

[Jamisjockey]

My tendency to answer the door in only my boxers helps keep such things brief and rare.

Some cute young female JV's in Texas saw me nekkid once.  Not a good day for those kids, probably took gallons of eye bleach, but they never came back.....