For 15 years I ran around behind a 110 lb browndog that loved to chase birds and swim and bark at rabbits, but ignored squirrels. His name was Jeep. Middle-aged (mostly) women would ask "Is he a chocolate?" and I'd curmudgeonly reply "I don't know. Would you like to taste him?"
Running him as a pup through the bottomlands in early winter, he flushed some turkey, and headed into the marsh. When he got out, muddy, stinky, wet, I noticed him chewing on something. I pulled the "stick" out of his mouth. The stick was the tail of a flat, frozen muskrat. The 'rat was halfway to his stomach when I got a hold of it.
A few years later, all the fat and hide and trimmings from a smoked ham were stuck in the nylon mesh bag that the ham came out of. It was winter and I didn't want to walk all the way out to the trash bin, so I hung the bag on the outside doorknob for an hour, to deal with when I left for work.
An hour later the bag was gone.
Two months later it was in a pile of vomit on the porch.
Another time Jeep had bloody urine. We followed him around with a cup, took it to the vet, had high white cells. Antibiotic prescribed.
Repeat.
After a few iterations, he got x-rayed. A perfect 3-1/2" sphere showed up in his gut.
He lasted another 3 years until it dropped down and blocked him – vomiting undigested kibble, no poop. The vet opened him up and took out the composite core of a hardball. I still have it. Maybe I'll post a photo.
Jeep lasted about two months after that surgery, couldn’t walk, and had much pain, so the vet came over to put him down. He was on the couch (not a normal place for a dog at Tuco's house) and when the bell rang, Jeep barked, tried to stand and fell off the couch. His tail wagged stupidly as the vet and assistant entered the room. He took it like a man, no mess to clean up, dying right at the foot of the sofa.
Almost two years later I took his ashes to a grouse covey where, as a three year old, he scented, stalked and grabbed a grouse and brought it to my hand. I saw the whole thing from 30 yards away. It was the first bird of the season, payback for the mouthful of feathers he pulled out of a snowbank 9 months earlier.
Jeep ate some weird *expletive deleted*it.
