"Das ist uncool!"

[Preacherman]

From the Telegraph, London (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=KJ4D3KGWRORVNQFIQMFCFFOAVCBQYIV0?xml=/news/2006/10/08/ngerman08.xml):

'Das ist uncool'  Germans fight back against English invasion

By Gethin Chamberlain
(Filed: 08/10/2006)

The deliberate mangling of the German language by generations of comedians has kept the British laughing since the end of the Second World War. Now the Germans are desperately trying to defend their tongue against a modern English invasion.

While the French have been fighting a losing battle against Franglais for years, the Germans are only now beginning to take seriously the threat to their language from the rise of Denglish  the bastard child of Deutsch and English.
    
Angered by the emergence of such phrases as "Das ist cool" (that is cool) and "Eine tolle latte to go" (one large milky coffee to take away), German politicians and academics are demanding that their language be enshrined in the country's constitution to save it from extinction.

"Trendy pseudo-English produced daily by apparently brainless advertising agencies, marketing experts and computer salesmen is pouring forth like a poisonous porridge of magma which is burying a whole cultural landscape beneath it," warned the writer Matthias Schreiber in Germany's Der Spiegel magazine.

In the brave new world of Denglish, Germans can "chatten" on the internet, "brainstormen" in business meetings and visit the "Job-Center" if the brainstormen proves unsuccessful.

The rise of Denglish persuaded state authorities in Bavaria, concerned about drinking in schools, to coin the slogan, "Be Hard, Drink Soft!" Meanwhile Lufthansa claims "There's no better way to fly".

Such developments have prompted Norbert Lammert, Germany's conservative parliamentary president, to launch an initiative that aims to win constitutional protection for the German language.

"Many countries, not only France, have done this," he said. "Last May, the American Senate declared English to be the country's official language to prevent Spanish assuming this role."

[Iain]

A poisonous porridge of magma eh?

I'd love to get paid to come up with bizarre stuff like that.

[Perd Hapley]

 "Last May, the American Senate declared English to be the country's official language to prevent Spanish assuming this role."

Wait.  They did?

[The Rabbi]

Yeah that was news to me.
It is a losing battle.  Many of the phrases they have adopted would have increbily cumbersome analogs in German.  Gameshow Host vs. Spielschaugastgeber. Try saying that fast.  I imagine they also say "pajamas" for Nachtkleider, just like Hebrew does.

[HankB]

I don't see what the big fuss is about - some years back, the New York Times published a quick lesson in the German language.

Barbers are not hairdressers or tonsorial artists, they are called "Herrenvolk" ("Hair folks"). Barbers in the Rhine region are called "Herrenvolkerein" ("Rhine hair folks").

If you get a haircut along the Rhine and some of the clippings get down under your collar and make your neck itch, you are suffering from "Herrenvolkereinische" ("Rhine hair folk's itch")

Long haired hippies are collectively referred to as "die Herrenungecliptundsnipterein" ("the unbarbered classes.")

I mentioned the Rhine, which of course is a river . . . and what do rivers in Germany have? Fish! Here again, German is straightforward, since "fish" is simply "der Schwimmerbeest."  The various types of fish are identified by adding descriptive syllables in the middle, so a shark is "der Schwimmerundfeestbeest," the shad is "der Schwimmermitroebeest" and the whale is "der Schwimmerundschnorterbeest." A herring is "der Schwimmergesaltpackenbeest."

Catfish, because of their prominent whiskers, are "der Schwimmermitherrenungeclipptundsnippetbeest."

See? Perfectly simple, and no need for Denglish.

[The Rabbi]

For those missing the joke, I'll point out "Herrenvolk" means "Master Race."  Just one of many in there.

[zahc]

日本語も英語の言葉が好き。エングリシFTW!

[charby]

For those missing the joke, I'll point out "Herrenvolk" means "Master Race."  Just one of many in there.

I was thinking it sounded a lot like the crap Hitler was spewing out of this mouth when they show clips of him on the History Channel. Is just me or does it look like he having a seizure and needing to go poop at the same time?

make sense with Herrenvolk meaning master race.

[HankB]

I was thinking it sounded a lot like the crap Hitler was spewing out of this mouth when they show clips of him on the History Channel.

I believe the modern German term - eschewing profanity - for that individual would be "Nutsenpapierenhangenherrenmitgrossenpieholen." ("Nutty paper hanger with the big mouth.")

Hmmm . . . need to figure out how to run the joke even further into the ground . . .

Or not . . .

[The Rabbi]

For those missing the joke, I'll point out "Herrenvolk" means "Master Race."  Just one of many in there.

I was thinking it sounded a lot like the crap Hitler was spewing out of this mouth when they show clips of him on the History Channel. Is just me or does it look like he having a seizure and needing to go poop at the same time?

make sense with Herrenvolk meaning master race.

Herrenvolkerein would actually mean "free of the Master Race," as "rein" means cleansed.
Hitler had a very emotive speaking style that played well to big audiences in person.  I dont think he would have done as well on T.V.  No one should underestimate his speaking skill, which was considerable.

[charby]

I've read that about Hitler. I can see him not doing well on live TV, be like watching one of the left or right extremists that get on the TV every now and then.

-C

[Tallpine]

"Now the Germans are desperately trying to defend their tongue against a modern English invasion."

Sounds like a fair recompense to me, considering the Angle and Saxon invasions of England.  English is just a version of German anyway, with a bunch of Gaelic, French, and Latin throw in for good measure.