HELP talk friend out of scam!

[Guest]

I am not really sure where to start on this one.  

A good friend of mine started writing things for that "soldiers angels"  thing pry a year ago.  She has since gotten involved with one of the guys she wrote to,  Went to visit him a few times at his home port and at his home in michigan.  She's definatly a little bit romanticly involved with the guy.  now heres the scam

Last night, the guy calls, asks her to move up to michigan with him (quit college), buy an appartment (HER money), and then give him and his uncle $6000 dollars to buy a new race car.   (for the record, she has a VERY healthy bank account, recently aqquired). He also says that he needs that money first thing tomorow....  

I call bullshit on all of it.  My friend, who we can call Jane, has seen the guy like twice, and now he's grubbing cash.  I don't know what to tell her, other than NOT DO IT first thing tomorow morning and to think more.  it all just smells rotten to me.  

Help?? i know you guys have some great advice to help me out....

[jefnvk]

Well, I can only speak for myself, but someone asking me for $6000 to buy a race car would have to know me real well.  Definitely someone I had met more than twice.  My friends I have had since grade school probably wouldn't even get that consideration.

[grampster]

A fool and her money will be soon parted.  Any and every time money crops up as a reason to "prove" a relationship,  the first sentence to this post is validated.

I don't know if there is much you can do to help your friend.  She is the final arbiter of her behavior.  I guess I'd just remind her that it would be a shame to insult all the work that went into creating that bank acount to just hand it over to some guy for a race car.

If he's such a good racer or if he has such a good idea, why does he need her money?  He ought to be able to get it from a lending institution.  If he can't get it from a bank, then there must be a good reason.

Tell her grampster thinks it's a very bad idea and to dump this guy, pronto.   An honorable man never asks a lady for money!

The classic scammer always needs the money tomorrow.  They play on your emotions to get the money now, before you can think it over.

[Guest]

Couldn't agree with both of you more.  

Tell her grampster thinks it's a very bad idea and to dump this guy, pronto.   An honorable man never asks a lady for money!

The classic scammer always needs the money tomorrow.  They play on your emotions to get the money now, before you can think it over.

Exactly what i was thinking

[Guest]

Even the poorest of decent men makes the habit of buying things for his lady, not the other way around. I would severly have to question my own manhood if I started beggin *anyone* for money, i cannot imagine asking a girlfriend for that kind of cash.

The long and the short of it is that even if he is on the up-and-up he is still a loser.

The fact that your friend mentioned this to you means that she is hesitant/suspicious as well. Give her some sensible advice and then see what happens. If she has any common sense at all she wont be sending out any money.

[Larry Ashcraft]

I've had many scams tried on me in my last 35 years as a retailer.  The tipoff is ALWAYS "We need the money right now, you will lose out if you think about it".  Try to get her not to fall for it.

BTW, thanks to a few savvy friends, I have been able to out-scam a few scammers.  Very satisfying.

"What?  I owe you for that toner you sent?  No, I didn't order it.  YOU owe ME for storage, let's see, four pounds of toner and my rate is $50 per pound per day.  What?  Outrageous?  Not matter, that's my rate, either pay up or I dump it into the dumpster."

[Guest]

Ask her, since she is getting serious, if she has met his parents. Has he been married before? Does he have children? Is he single now? Did she see his actual home? Meet other family members? Go out in public?

 Of course this is fishy. Very sad. Too bad she doesn't date closer to home.

[RadioFreeSeaLab]

Tell her grampster thinks it's a very bad idea and to dump this guy, pronto.   An honorable man never asks a lady for money!

The classic scammer always needs the money tomorrow.  They play on your emotions to get the money now, before you can think it over.

+1
Listen to grampster.

[Silver Bullet]

You probably cant help her, IMHO.  You can explain your views on the matter, but if she cant see through this already it probably wont make any difference.   It must be a Venus-Mars thing the way some women crave approval and attention.

If shes sitting on the fence, you have a chance to get through to her.  Or maybe she does see through this, but for some reason she just needs someone to say it out loud.

I think thats all you can do, unless you intend to pay for a credit check or background investigation.  Shes the one with the big account; she should do the investigation.

I suppose collateral for the loan is out of the question.

One last lame attempt:  she could counter-lie by telling them the Nigerians just scammed her out of her money.

It is unfortunate that she told them about the money in the first place.

[The Rabbi]

I can help her.  Tell her to wire me $1,000 and I'll tell her how to avoid this scam artist.

[StopTheGrays]

Help?? i know you guys have some great advice to help me out....

Give her my number, I only need $3000

[Harold Tuttle]

tell her to do what she feels is prudent,

but if she shows up 6000 dollars poorer and jilted,
you get to write "I'm a moron" on her forehead with a big black sharpie

[Antibubba]

If it were just about the money, well, it would be an expensive lesson, but she'd recover.  The alarming part is her quitting college and moving up to Michigan.

He's asking her to move away from her friends and family-all of her support-to be with him where she knows no one and is unfamiliar with the territory.  He's asking her to leave the only place she's likely to learn a little autonomy, and where it's relatively safe to make stupid and impulsive mistakes.  No, he's looking for someone who will be utterly dependent on him for EVERYTHING.  I'd bet he's worked this one before, or he learned it from his Daddy.

[grampster]

So, what happened?

[Guest]

We went to the bar last night for a couple drinks and general BS about her dilema.  the first thing she did was tell me how stupid even considering it was on her part.  i agreed.  I pointed out that he wanted her to jump in over her head and turn life upsidedown in 3 weeks, and not even think it over.  Also pointed out that no self respecting MAN would go grubbing money from some gal he's seen for a grand total of 9 days, and that should be a huge warning bell.  

Shes a cool gal,  took it all in stride and agreed with pretty much everything i had to say on it ( she asked for advice.... and got it) .   She's still going to see him, but under a few conditions.  He has to come down here and visit her family at least 3 weekends before she'll even consider a move, and i think that alone will chase him off.  IF something happen, they won't be going in on any lease together and she isn't loaning him and his dirtbag uncle the cash.  Seems like damage control has been achived,  so at this point anything she does that blows up  will be a learning experience, and she won't loose her ass in the deal.  

thanks for the the advice guys

[grampster]

Invite her to come on over here and join the campfire.   Advise her to settle in for some scintilating conversation and the chance to absorb a good bunch of life experience doled out by a great bunch of folks across a wide perspective.  We have some silliness from time to time as well.

[Art Eatman]

She'd make the move if it all looked good, and after only three weekends?  Dumber'n dirt, is my opinion.

Finish college.  Then consider serious relationships.  First things first.

Sounds like what's needed is a whole helluva lot of Growup pills.

Art