Santa paid for dead reindeer

[Preacherman]

From the BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4295968.stm):

Last Updated: Friday, 30 September 2005, 01:22 GMT 02:22 UK

Air force payout cures Santa woes

The Danish air force has admitted causing the death of Rudolph the reindeer and has paid compensation to Father Christmas.





Olovi Nikkanoff, one of Denmark's professional Santa Clauses, says his reindeer died of shock as fighter planes flew low overhead.

The air force admitted liability and paid him 31,175 kroner (£2,850).

"We're more than happy to pay if it means children around the world will get their presents," a spokesman said.

Mr Nikkanoff said he was devastated in February when he discovered his reindeer's body.

The animal had been grazing happily, he said, when two Danish F-16s thundered overhead.

He complained to the air force, which ordered an investigation.

"We got a letter from Santa complaining about his reindeer's death and looked into it seriously," air force spokesman Captain Morten Jensen told Associated Press.

Flight data showed the jets had been in the area at the time, and a vet concluded that their deafening roar had caused Rudolph to have heart failure.

Mr Nikkanoff feared he would have only one reindeer to pull his sleigh this Christmas.

But after the air force's decision he declared himself happy with the payout and said he was looking forward to this year's festive season with a new animal on his team.

[wmenorr67]

Next thing you know the Danish govt will ask the US to pay them back since we sold them the F-16's to begin with.

[BrokenPaw]

In honor of the thread-starter, I will add this:

I hope the price isn't two deer for us to pay.

-BP

[Nathaniel Firethorn]

Dead? Not quite!

RUDOLPH'S NIGHT OFF

'Twas the night before Christmas and Rudolph was lame!
The vet from the North Pole said, "Footrot's to blame.
I'll give him some sulfa, it's the best I can do
But stall rest is needed the next week or two."
"Great Scott!" cried old Santy, he turned with a jerk,
"I won't git through Pierre if my headlights don't work!
On Interstate 40 I'll surely get fined
And lost in Montana if I'm flying blind!"

"No cop in his right mind would give any clout
To a geezer who claimed that his reindeer went out!"
He gathered the others, ol' Donner and Blitzen,
Were any among 'em whose nose was transmitzen?
They grunted and strained and sure made a mess
But no noses glowed brightly or ears luminesced.
"It's bad luck in bunches," cried Santy, distressed,
"We'll fly Continental, the Red Eye Express!"

"I'll just check the schedule," he put on his glasses
When up stepped 'ol Billy, the goat from Lampasasas.
He shivered and shook like a mouse on the Ark
But his horns were a beacon...They glowed in the dark!
Santy went crazy! He asked, "Why?" with a smile
"I just ate a watch with a radium dial!
Where I come from in Texas we don't have thick hide
My skin is so thin it shines through from inside."

"If that's true then let's feed him!" cried Santy with glee
"Gather everything burnin' and bring it to me!"
So Billy ate flashbulbs and solar collectors,
Electrical eels and road sign reflectors,
Firecracker sparklers, a Lady Schick shaver
And Lifesavers, all of em' wintergreen flavor,
Jelly from phophorescellous fish,
Day Glow pizza in a glittering dish,

Fireflies and candles and stuff that ignites,
Then had him a big bowl of Northering Lights!
He danced on the rug and petted the cat
And after he'd finished and done all of that
To store up the static 'lectricity better
They forced him to eat two balloons and a sweater!
Then he opened his mouth, light fell on the floor,
Like the fridge light comes on when you open the door!

His Halloween smile couldn't be better drawn
When he burped accidently, his high beams kicked on!
"Hitch him up!" cried ol' Santy, and they went on their way.
I remember that Christmas to this very day
The sky was ablaze with the stars shining bright.
They were shooting and falling all through the night.
And I realize now, though my fingers are crossed,
What I really was seein'...was ol' Billy's exhaust!
--Baxter Black--

- NF

[Antibubba]

In other news, Varmint hunter Ned Rollins, of Helphersertin, Arkansas, has admitted to investigators that it was indeed he who had shot and killed the beloved Easter Bunny.  "Honest t'gosh, i was jes' poppin' gophers-who'da thunk that Easter Bunny woulda popped right out?  Hell, Easter'd been over for six weeks!"  Mr. Rollins will not be charged, as Arkansas has no laws against taking childhood icons out of season.

[Antibubba]

Go ahead-ask me what happened when the Tooth Fairy ran afoul of Florida's "Castle" doctrine...