Author Topic: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)  (Read 7482 times)

zxcvbob

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #50 on: October 15, 2016, 03:16:39 PM »
I'm sitting on the couch.   She's at my side on the couch.  Like she was so many time in the last six years.   Spoiling the hell out of her.   Since nutrition is now irrelevant,  she shared my breakfast..eggs and toast...though I think she ate more than I did.  Lunch was these little meatball treats she's always loved.   She can't make it upstairs,  so I stayed with her on the couch last night.  Both boys took the news hard, and canceled plans for tomorrow for family day with Wendy.

As to chemo/radiation,  she hurts to walk because of the cancer in the bones causing swelling and arthritis.   Yes meds might help alleviate that,  but that would be selfish as hell of me.  And the intestinal issues won't get better, only worse as the cancer grows.  So, she gets a hell of a weekend, then peace.

I came here to delete all that stuff I wrote last night except for the "I'm so sorry" part (cuz no one wants to read all that)  I shouldn't post after 03:00 even if I am sober (I was.)  Chemo etc should be for the animal's benefit, not to ease the suffering just enough so the human can put off doing the inevitable.  I think you're doing the right thing.

It still suck, though.   :mad: :'(
"It's good, though..."

wmenorr67

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #51 on: October 15, 2016, 06:25:28 PM »
So sorry Chris. All of us have been there in one way or another.

Spoil Wendy and enjoy your last hours.

😥


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T.O.M.

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #52 on: October 15, 2016, 07:08:12 PM »
I came here to delete all that stuff I wrote last night except for the "I'm so sorry" part (cuz no one wants to read all that)  I shouldn't post after 03:00 even if I am sober (I was.)  Chemo etc should be for the animal's benefit, not to ease the suffering just enough so the human can put off doing the inevitable.  I think you're doing the right thing.

It still suck, though.   :mad: :'(

No worries.  I took it as advice given with the best of intentions, and as such it was appreciated.
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TommyGunn

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #53 on: October 15, 2016, 10:32:01 PM »
I've always found the following of spiritual help when dealing with the death of a pet dog:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The House Dog's Grave
(Haig, an English bulldog)


I've changed my ways a little, I cannot now
Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment
You see me there.
So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
The marks of my drinking-pan.

I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
On the warm stone,
Nor at the foot your bed; no, all the nights through
I lie alone.

But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
And where you sit to read -- and I fear often grieving for me --
Every night your lamplight lies on my place.

You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
To think of you ever dying.
A little dog would get tired, living so long.
I hope that you when you are lying

Under the ground like me your lives will appear
As good and joyful as mine.
No, dears, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
As I have been.

And never have known the passionate undivided
Fidelities that I knew.
Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided . . . .
But to me you were true.

You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.


Robinson Jeffers, Selected Poems
MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero

RocketMan

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #54 on: October 18, 2016, 12:49:41 AM »
So very sorry for your loss, Chris.  Keep her memory alive.
If there really was intelligent life on other planets, we'd be sending them foreign aid.

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

Liberals believe one should never let reason, logic and facts get in the way of a good emotional argument.

T.O.M.

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #55 on: October 18, 2016, 09:00:31 AM »
It's done.  Wendy's gone.  Spoiled her big time all weekend.  Roasted chicken. Grilled steak.  Walks as far as she wanted to go.  Sleeping together on the couch.  Yesterday at 5:45.  I'll admit I cried like a baby.  Vet was great.  Never been through this before.  He let me lay on the floor with her, while my wife sat on the chair next to us. First injection put her to sleep as I laid with her, face to face.  Second finished things in a moment or two.  He verified it was over and left us the room.  Office closed at 6:00, but he let us stay as long as we wanted.  Her ashes will be brought to his office, then we can take her home to the garden.  Probably the best thing he did was verify to me that this was the right choice.  The pain meds had given her some relief over the weekend, and the appetite stimulant had gotten her eating.  Both of these brought back a bit of my girl, and put the spark back in her eye, and I'll admit in the back of my mind I started thinking that maybe it would be worth the cost of meds for some more time.  He verified that this was a short term fix, the meds would be less effective after a week or two, and the x-rays showed how bad her bones were.  All the things I knew, but didn't want to believe.  That helped, because I trust him.  He's been our vet for six years.  He's been through all of this with me since July when we first caught sign that she was sick.

I'm finding I'm already missing her.  8:00 last night, I started putting on a pair of shoes.  That was evening walk time.  This morning, out of habit for six years, I came down to let her out first thing.  When I was leaving for work, again out of habit, I started putting up the gate top keep her from going upstairs.

I didn't want a dog.  I knew that if we got a dog, I'd end up doing everything to take care of her, not my then 8 and 10 year old sons.  Wife pushed it, as my youngest son was afraid to come into the house alone twice a week when he would get home from school first.  What I didn't expect was that, even though she was a buddy to my sons and companion to my wife, how much she and I would bond.  Walks may have started as a job, but ended up being our time.  Snow, rain, cold, heat.  Didn't matter, we got our walks.  When the home invasion took place in our neighborhood and police were searching for the shooter, she stayed next to me on the couch all night.   She would curl up by me when I wasn't feeling good.  She would get a couple of licks of beer when I had one, or a pretzel or two if I was having some.  She ended up stealing my heart.

Thanks for all of the support as I went through this.  If someone can walk me through how to post a photo, I'll put up one of her.
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K Frame

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #56 on: October 18, 2016, 09:17:13 AM »
So very, very sorry, Chris. I know how much it hurts, and I feel for you and your entire family.

I don't know how long I laid on the floor with Mason, just holding him, after he went.

*expletive deleted*it. Trying to hide behind my computer monitor so my officemate (my boss) can't see that I'm crying.

To post a photo, you'll need to host it somewhere. If you have a facebook account, you can host it there, or you can host it to one of the free sites like photobucket.
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T.O.M.

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #57 on: October 18, 2016, 09:54:13 AM »
So very, very sorry, Chris. I know how much it hurts, and I feel for you and your entire family.

I don't know how long I laid on the floor with Mason, just holding him, after he went.

*expletive deleted*it. Trying to hide behind my computer monitor so my officemate (my boss) can't see that I'm crying.

To post a photo, you'll need to host it somewhere. If you have a facebook account, you can host it there, or you can host it to one of the free sites like photobucket.

Sorry to share my pain.  Thanks for the info.  I forgot I created a photobucket account years ago to share pics here on APS from my Hawaii trip in 2007.  

Here's one of my favorite pictures of Wendy, on the way home for the first time...

http://s233.photobucket.com/user/cas700850/library/?sort=3&page=1

No, I'm not mtnbkr.  ;)

a.k.a. "our resident Legal Smeagol."...thanks BryanP
"Anybody can give legal advice - but only licensed attorneys can sell it."...vaskidmark

dogmush

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #58 on: October 18, 2016, 10:18:45 AM »
I'm so sorry.

roo_ster

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #59 on: October 18, 2016, 10:26:43 AM »
Sorry about your loss.

Regards,

roo_ster

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Unisaw

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #60 on: October 18, 2016, 10:31:56 AM »
I couldn't help but think about you and Wendy throughout the day yesterday.  We lost our last Bernese Mountain Dog to bone cancer under exactly the same circumstances.  Sincere condolences.
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Larry Ashcraft

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #61 on: October 18, 2016, 10:42:03 AM »
It hurts so much every time.  I'm sorry.

TommyGunn

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #62 on: October 18, 2016, 10:58:52 AM »
I'm  so sorry for your loss.
MOLON LABE   "Through ignorance of what is good and what is bad, the life of men is greatly perplexed." ~~ Cicero

Scout26

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #63 on: October 18, 2016, 12:03:41 PM »
Someone is cutting onions here in the office as I sit here by myself.

I'm so sorry Chris.  I know how much it hurts.  But you did the right thing by her, and it's never easy. Hang on to all the good memories.

 
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.


Bring me my Broadsword and a clear understanding.
Get up to the roundhouse on the cliff-top standing.
Take women and children and bed them down.
Bless with a hard heart those that stand with me.
Bless the women and children who firm our hands.
Put our backs to the north wind.
Hold fast by the river.
Sweet memories to drive us on,
for the motherland.

wmenorr67

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #64 on: October 18, 2016, 12:35:21 PM »
I didn't want a dog.  I knew that if we got a dog, I'd end up doing everything to take care of her, not my then 8 and 10 year old sons.  Wife pushed it, as my youngest son was afraid to come into the house alone twice a week when he would get home from school first.  What I didn't expect was that, even though she was a buddy to my sons and companion to my wife, how much she and I would bond.  Walks may have started as a job, but ended up being our time.  Snow, rain, cold, heat.  Didn't matter, we got our walks.  When the home invasion took place in our neighborhood and police were searching for the shooter, she stayed next to me on the couch all night.   She would curl up by me when I wasn't feeling good.  She would get a couple of licks of beer when I had one, or a pretzel or two if I was having some.  She ended up stealing my heart.

Funny how they have a way of doing that.

Sorry for you loss Chris.

Just went through this a few months back with my daughter's cat.
There are five things, above all else, that make life worth living: a good relationship with God, a good woman, good health, good friends, and a good cigar.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Bacon is the candy bar of meats!

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

Phyphor

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #65 on: October 19, 2016, 06:57:35 AM »
Sorry for your loss.

I've been through this a few times myself.  It sure doesn't get any easier....
"You know what's messed-up about taxes?
You don't even pay taxes. They take tax.
You get your check, money gone.
That ain't a payment, that's a jack." - Chris Rock "Bigger and Blacker"
He slapped his rifle. "This is one of the best arguments for peace there is. Nobody wants to shoot if somebody is going to shoot back. " Callaghen, Callaghen, Louis La'mour

Hawkmoon

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #66 on: October 19, 2016, 11:26:28 AM »
I'm finding I'm already missing her.  8:00 last night, I started putting on a pair of shoes.  That was evening walk time.  This morning, out of habit for six years, I came down to let her out first thing.  When I was leaving for work, again out of habit, I started putting up the gate top keep her from going upstairs.

You'll probably go on missing her for a long time. That's not a bad thing -- it says a lot about you being a human being, and about how special the bond can be between man and man's best friend.
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K Frame

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #67 on: October 19, 2016, 12:15:59 PM »
Ruger and Nikky died almost 10 years ago.

I still miss them intensely at times.

Mason died going on 3 years ago. There are times when I miss him so badly that it's a physical force on me.

After Mason died, I shut down for a long, long time. I stopped going out into my back yard, I stopped getting outside into the community. I was pretty depressed for awhile.

It's only now that I have Seren that I've even bothered going out into my back yard on a regular basis, and have started cleaning it up.

I know for some people the death of a pet is no big deal.

I don't understand those people, and never will.
Carbon Monoxide, sucking the life out of idiots, 'tards, and fools since man tamed fire.

BlueStarLizzard

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #68 on: October 19, 2016, 12:46:46 PM »
Ruger and Nikky died almost 10 years ago.

I still miss them intensely at times.

Mason died going on 3 years ago. There are times when I miss him so badly that it's a physical force on me.

After Mason died, I shut down for a long, long time. I stopped going out into my back yard, I stopped getting outside into the community. I was pretty depressed for awhile.

It's only now that I have Seren that I've even bothered going out into my back yard on a regular basis, and have started cleaning it up.

I know for some people the death of a pet is no big deal.

I don't understand those people, and never will.

It's always a big deal. It's just some of us deal with it differently.

I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on the death. I try to focus on the great life my dogs and cats of the past have had. They become legends and are all still a part of our lives. For example, we often will make jokes that when Raleigh and Roanoke do rotten things, that it was because the ghost of Pharaoh came and told them to do it.
I miss them, but I miss them in a happy way, because I will always be grateful that I had them in my life. I also feel somewhat obligated to bring a new animal home if I have an open "spot". It's kind of like I can't truly honer the pet that has passed if I don't do my best to give another animal a home.

Then again, I've never had just one animal at a time. I can imagine that could be harder. I like having a successor in place before the old one's time has come. That way I have something furry to help me mourn the loss. 
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RocketMan

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #69 on: October 20, 2016, 06:29:14 AM »
I know for some people the death of a pet is no big deal.

I don't understand those people, and never will.

Some folks will say, "It's only a dog", and deny there is any significance to its passing.  The nicest thing I can say about them is they are heartless bastards.
If there really was intelligent life on other planets, we'd be sending them foreign aid.

Conservatives see George Orwell's "1984" as a cautionary tale.  Progressives view it as a "how to" manual.

My wife often says to me, "You are evil and must be destroyed." She may be right.

Liberals believe one should never let reason, logic and facts get in the way of a good emotional argument.

Phyphor

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Re: Paging BSL (and anyone else who knows dogs)
« Reply #70 on: October 20, 2016, 12:02:09 PM »
I honestly wonder about people like that.

For about a year and a half, I had to take care of my mom's dog, Astro.  He'd originally been both mom and dads, but dad passed away back in 2013.

I stressed and worried about that dog (he was a Chiweenie,) considering where I live isn't known to be very good for dogs (lots of them die on this road,) but she finally got in a position where she could take him back. She had moved in with my sister, and wanted her dog back, so they came and got him.

Less than a month later, he was dead.  He'd gotten out and gotten hit by a car, thanks to the SOB who they had living there with them.  That guy hated Astro, and Astro returned the sentiment.  My sister called me to tell me (knowing how attached I'd gotten to the dog,) and I was so utterly pissed off, I pretty much said (boiled down and profanity removed) "He'd better not be there when I get there."

Dude moved out that night.  Sis had had her phone on speaker and he overheard.

I still harbor quite a bit of anger over that, too.  Especially considering how much loss my mom has had to endure over the past few years, and to have to lose her dog, too?

I really do miss that little guy, he was a character.
"You know what's messed-up about taxes?
You don't even pay taxes. They take tax.
You get your check, money gone.
That ain't a payment, that's a jack." - Chris Rock "Bigger and Blacker"
He slapped his rifle. "This is one of the best arguments for peace there is. Nobody wants to shoot if somebody is going to shoot back. " Callaghen, Callaghen, Louis La'mour