Disrespecting Age

[Winston Smith]

I was hanging out with my friends on the corner of Geary and Arguello, in San Francisco's richmond district, waiting for our favorite indian all-you-can-eat buffet to open, and I happened to have my longboard (a type of skateboard), and, well, this elderly woman in all black with those black wraparound shades came up to me... and here's the basic transcript of the conversation:

Old Lady: Don't ride that thing in the sidewalk, there's a law against it!

Me: Umm... no there isn't.

OL: Yes there is! You shouldn't do it!

Me: uhh... why not?

OL: Because there's a law against it!

Me: Skateboarding is not a crime.

OL: I'm a senior citizen with disabilities (waves vaguely to her legs, though she was walking fine) and you shouldn't ride those on the sidewalk! It's against the law! (points out a passing cop car).

Me: Uhh.. What about accosting people and making threatening gestures toward strangers? Is that against the law?

OL: Oh, I'll threaten you. (starts walking away)

Me: Oh.. wow... threatening to threaten me... plus one for you!

OL: I could be your mother...

Me: Uhh... no you couldn't.

OL: ... your grandmother!

To which I replied something I won't repeat here, but (un)fortunately, she was out of earshot.

So, where do people get off lambasting other people? I wasn't doing anything wrong, I'm a very concientious boarder. I board like I live, as safely as possible, and I take accountability for wrongdoing. I always give pedestrians, cars, and bikes the right of way, and I follow traffic signals. I don't even dress like a skateboarder. Here I was wearing a black dickies jacket and a nice pair of blue jeans and some boots...

Was it ok for her to prejudge me?

[Strings]

Well... you ARE in San Fran, so you kinda SHOULD expect some of the grnola to come up with silly stuff...

[Sindawe]

Some folks view all public property as under their personal domain, so they feel they have a right to chastise those who transgress.  I will admit I take a rather dim view on those who run stop sings in pedestrian zones, but we all have our faults.

As for prejudging you?  No.  But as far as lambasting goes, well some folks just plain enjoy being curmudgeons.  It helps them to forget the stranger in the mirror that has entrapped the reality of who they are in that wrinkled old bag of bones.

Indian all-you-can-eat buffet...MMMMMM

Longboard?  Concrete is not as forgiving as snow.

[Justin]

In ancient times, old people were to be respected as wise elders, due to the fact that you had to be wiley and smart to avoid being eaten, maimed, or killed in a nearly infinite variety of ways by nature.

Nowadays, pretty much any idiot can make it to old age.

This is certainly not to disparage all people who are older than me.  I regularly shoot with a bunch of men who are all old enough to be my grandfather, and all good enough to give me a serious run for my money.  As P.J. O'Rourke put it, age and guile beat youth and a bad haircut any day, and I've certainly witnessed that first hand!

[thorn]

you should know the law, because she obviuosly knows only half of it.

it IS ILLEGAl- 30 min after sunset, before sunrise, or in a business district. NOT in a residential area in daylight.
argullo and geary? hmmmm. seems like almost anything geary that far out is business , no???
and you were in front of a restaurant? sound like commercial to me.
http://www.ci.sf.ca.us/site/bdsupvrs_page.asp?id=18376
i am fully into screaming at anyone full of it trying to tell me what to do. BUT i make sure i am right first.

SO- if you were in the right, cool, if not, well, know the laws first.
i have skated for years, just started going to the park over here finally.
but we got to be careful, or they dont fund stuff like the park.

it only took one idiot knocking over an old lady to get my town in LI to pass a law.

[Winston Smith]

Aw crap, I guess she was right...

Anyhoo, are there any good skating forums? I've searched a little and all I can find is 14yos going "i c4n dø kewl tr1kz"

EDIT: Wait, now that I think of it, she was still wrong, I wasn't skateboarding on the buisness part, I was skating around the corner on the residential part.

[Guest]

I am *so* going to be that old woman.

[Iain]

Darned kids.

Get your 'longboards', 'Bee M Ex's' and hippy haircuts off my streets so I can run people over with my mobility scooter.

[Guest]

Ask anyone in retail what age groups represent the biggest portion of shoplifters, belligerant customers, and outright assaultive persons. Its a *real* tossup wether that is the 15-18 group or the 60-75 group. Personally I have observed significantly more from the latter than the former.

[The Rabbi]

In ancient times, old people were to be respected as wise elders, due to the fact that you had to be wiley and smart to avoid being eaten, maimed, or killed in a nearly infinite variety of ways by nature.

Nowadays, pretty much any idiot can make it to old age.

Actually none of that is true.
People were respected because age and experience bring wisdom.  True, some people who were clueless at 20 are clueless at 60 but overall people grow and learn by experience.
Today plenty of idiots have their lives cut short by smoking, over-eating and drinking, drug use, motorcycles, etc etc.  Lot of opportunities for exercize of poor judgement with resulting bad effects.

[Art Eatman]

"Good judgement comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgement."

Clueles Old Farts, IMO, have been clueless all their lives.  I'm fully in accord with Justin about today's survivability of one's own cluelessness.

It's a crying shame so many of them get re-elected...

Sorry 'bout that.

The main thing is to recognize that it's "some", not "all":  How clued in are YOU?

, Art

[Zundfolge]

Damn Rabbi ... you really take this whole internet thing WAY too seriously.

[thorn]

http://www.caliskatz.com/v4/skateparks/berkeley_skatepark.asp

this is where i get park info, they have a forum, but you probably already have seen it.......

[The Rabbi]

Damn Rabbi ... you really take this whole internet thing WAY too seriously. big_smile

Could be.  But it hit a hot button issue with me.  In our society aging is seen as totally negative.  The media all portray it as bad and the only time "cool" old people are shown is when they are acting like kids.  Remember the movie Cocoon?
In my '40s now I see and understand things in a way that I never could have in my 20s.  I am grateful for it and look forward to more as I hit my 60s, 80s and beyond.  People focus on the negatives and neglect the positive aspects of it.

[Guest]

Nowadays, pretty much any idiot can make it to old age.

Hey- I even made it to Fifty!

(trust me there were bets I would not make it to 25, 30, 40, much less 50, hell there were times "I" would have bet against me, not to sure about the next decade...)

I was raised to respect my elders. Of course back then I was also taught Respect was earned.  

I agree with Justin's take and Art's comments.


Barbara-
I gots a Cane for when I can't CCW some places...been practicing, whaddya think? "You Whippersnappers! Get outta my yard...and turn down that damn stereo!"  

How'd I do?  

[Zundfolge]

The media all portray it as bad and the only time "cool" old people are shown is when they are acting like kids.

Yeah, in addition only time "cool" white people are shown is when they are acting black
Yet another reason to ignore the media.


Honestly you couldn't pay me $100 million to repeat my 20s

[grampster]

Sigh.....Winston.  Do your homework.  That old lady is registered here at APS and.......

She knows you!  

[Gewehr98]

I was taught (in a bygone age, evidently), to respect my elders.  They've been there and done that.  Regardless of the "Plus 1" jibberish, I see nothing in the dialogue above that approaches respect for the grandma. Sigh. Goes back to the old saying, "Hire a teenager while they know everything".

"Skateboarding is not a crime"

Nope.  Neither are these things. Gotta love 'em, I've got a few boxes ready to install when neighbors complain about the grinding on their curbs:

[Antibubba]

Why you little whippersnapper! When are you going to start showing some respect?  Why, when I was your age....

[Strings]

Gewehr98: If I understood the exchange correctly, he wasn't using the board at the time. And the "grandma" came up out of nowhere and started berating him. Had that been me, the exchange would have been less polite. Had it been me, and my mother present, the exchange would have been MUCH less than polite (mom was Italian, with appropriate temper)!

[Winston Smith]

Umm... respect is earned.

And you earn it by giving it, most times.

She wasn't giving respect.

So she didn't earn it.

How can you guys espouse the elitism of age? Just because she's old gives her the right to berate me on the street? Come up and yell and gesticulate?

Way I was taught, be polite until you have a good reason not to.

I think her yelling at me (YELLING) for three full conversation turns is a good reason. I will not be yelled at, period.

Man, you guys are just asking for it if you think yelling at people on the street is ok... it's much easier to explain a fistfight at 17 then at 45.

EDIT: Not saying she was 45, but any age older than 25 and a fistfight looks a little... weird.

[The Rabbi]

I was taught (in a bygone age, evidently), to respect my elders.  They've been there and done that.  Regardless of the "Plus 1" jibberish, I see nothing in the dialogue above that approaches respect for the grandma. Sigh. Goes back to the old saying, "Hire a teenager while they know everything".

Good comment.

No, some people are entitled to a little consideration and, yes, respect just for being who they are.  I would put clergy in that same category.  That means not cursing them out when they act out a little and giving them some slack.  Maybe the old lady was right, maybe she was wrong.  Maybe she was bonkers.  But defusing the situation and being agreeable doesnt cost anything and it does teach a lesson in respect and humility.

[garyk/nm]

Hi, I'm Gary and I'm an old fart.
Winston: I am so sick of hearing "skateboarding is not a crime". In a lot of cases, it is just that.  Ever heard of trespassing? How about vandalism?  Next joker who tries to use my fence as a half-pipe (whatever) will be walking home, carrying a pile of splinters and dis-attached wheels.
Not saying this is you, just don't expect me to believe all skateboarders are as saintly.

[DrAmazon]

As P.J. O'Rourke put it, age and guile beat youth and a bad haircut any day, and I've certainly witnessed that first hand!

And with your stylin' hairdo you know this first hand. (Giggle giggle giggle)

[cordex]

I will not be yelled at, period.

Best not leave the house.
If you live, you will be yelled at.  Period.  How you handle that is another thing altogether.

In this situation, the best thing to do would probably have been say "Thank you for your advice, ma'am," and moved on.  She frankly doesn't matter enough to get all riled up over.

No, some people are entitled to a little consideration and, yes, respect just for being who they are.  I would put clergy in that same category.

That's an interesting viewpoint, but one I disagree with.

I try to treat all people I meet politely, but I'll reserve my additional consideration for those who have earned it.  Being a member of the clergy does not automatically  put them in the "earned it" category.  Don't take this as anti-clergy, just that I've known my share and more of clergy and they are made of the typical spectrum of good, average, and awful people.  I see no reason to give a bad member of the clergy more consideration than anyone else.

defusing the situation and being agreeable doesnt cost anything and it does teach a lesson in respect and humility.

On this we agree.