Author Topic: Uss Clinton CVS1  (Read 2760 times)

280plus

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« on: August 19, 2006, 07:35:15 AM »
US Navy welcomes the USS Bill Clinton
Sunday, July 2nd 2006 Vancouver, BC  -- Headed for Seattle, Washington
The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.



The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.  The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president.  The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck but form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.

It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World".  The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J. Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.
Avoid cliches like the plague!

spinr

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2006, 07:41:51 AM »
You didn't post a photo of the new ship...

Here ya' go:



cheesy

280plus

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2006, 07:58:45 AM »
No, I had to go get it. Thanks though! Cheesy
Avoid cliches like the plague!

Headless Thompson Gunner

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2006, 09:28:23 AM »
Cheesy

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2006, 01:58:13 PM »
1. Well it has more class than the White Trash Library bearing Clinton's name...

2. At least the Vets coming to visit the USS Razorback are true...including the ones visiting from foreign countries...

Across the river from said Library is : The  USS Razorback.
Named for the Whale, and is the Mascot of the UofA at Fayetteville AR sports.
This Submarine was purchased from the Turkish Navy for one dollar.
Getting to where it now resides costs a whole bunch more...

Gosh, sometimes I really wish History could be turned back and erased.

MicroBalrog

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2006, 05:07:08 AM »
Actually, a bit more then a dollar.

But not much.

Quote
Ex-Muratreis was purchased from Turkey by the city of North Little Rock, Arkansas on 25 March 2004 for $37,500. The purchase price and all towing costs were paid for by private donations
Destroy The Enemy in Hand-to-Hand Combat.

"...tradition and custom becomes intertwined and are a strong coercion which directs the society upon fixed lines, and strangles liberty. " ~ William Graham Sumner

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2006, 05:51:21 AM »
$1.00 for the sub.

$37,499.00 for the various political pockets in attendence of said meeting to buy sub.


"Private Donations"  Ha!  How about " We got another way to graft money folks , and this is a good one!


NLR used to be called "Argenta" back in the old days.  "Argenta" was used as slur, a put down, and as a "low blow" to residents.  So eventually with new decades of folks coming up, "Argenta" was pretty much lost in history.

Downtown re-newals  got to be a new thing around the country.  Gotta get that revenue back up somehow to support the movers and shakers and politicians that had stole properties / wanting to steal  more propoerties  so they could get a pc of the Clinton Library, and Little Rock's Downtown River Market Downtown Renewal and all the "action".

NLR and LR have had a Political Machine going forever.   This machine "used" to work more friendly...some grating of the graft started happening.  

There is a Trolley car - again. In the old days trolley cars were used in the cities.  Folks always said they should have kept these instead of going to City Buses.  City Buses was another Political deal with kinfolks of course.

Trolley car makes a run on both sides of the Arkansas River, See the Sub, the Library, Old State House, River Market, Argenta, Stay at the Peabody, and the whole "sha-bang".

Oops...about that 'bang" part, seems with all them Surveillance cameras, come legal NO CCW signs.   So a LOT of places one may want  to carry, while vistiing all this stuff -one cannot.  Seems Clinton still gonna "keep you safe" .

That Sub and Library accross the River from one another.  I-30 bridge is near, as well as another bridge and RR Bridge.

Matters ever get serious , good idea not to be around those  areas.  Police for both cities near respective DT areas and ....well when a tugboat had a problem on the river one day , all sorts of serious panic and gnashing of teeth.  Homeland Security I am told got a little bit "concerned".

I assured everyone  Big Brother Slick and his Holding Company had Cameras on the job - it was gonna be all-right.  

That was the day my Deli meal was paid for and I was asked not to come back to a Deli in Argenta. Seems I riled up some Movers and Shakers.  
That was my intent - I was bitching about the NO CCW in the areas and NLR parks.

*snaps fingers*  I left all that literature in the joint in a rack next to "tourist guides" and "Apt/ Home Finding".
Then I made another drop off at another spot.  NLR sub station had a unit follow me, but I hit the freeway and I know the backroads.

Not tested this, word is I am not invited to attend any All-Tell arena event either.  

If you find yourself in River Market area and all hell breaks loose - run to Stephens Inc. Largest trading house off Wall Street.  They have their own in-house Security , I mean well trained and equipped Security. Did I mentioned Well trained and seasoned Security?

I need a new place to stir up trouble...

Your obv't civil disobedient

Lennyjoe

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Uss Clinton CVS1
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2006, 08:30:48 AM »
Do more with less.  How much worse do you think it will get if Billary gets in the house?