The dog and the wife

[Lanius]

Regarding maids...

This shows why it's a bad idea to nuke any country. You think it all goes well, nation is getting back on it's feet.. but meanwhile, they are all going slowly insane.

Evidence:

[Monkeyleg]

...everybody ought to have a maid...

Thanks a lot. Now I have a Neil Young song stuck in my head (video here), and the usual Neil-Young-driven urge to blow my brains out.

[BridgeRunner]

Thanks a lot. Now I have a Neil Young song stuck in my head (video here), and the usual Neil-Young-driven urge to blow my brains out.

Don't do it!!! Think of your poor wife... Or is this the wrong thread for that particular plea? :/

[Perd Hapley]

Thanks a lot. Now I have a Neil Young song stuck in my head (video here), and the usual Neil-Young-driven urge to blow my brains out.

Hmmmm. Should I angle for the guns, or the Stang?

[BlueStarLizzard]

Hmmmm. Should I angle for the guns, or the Stang?

Fat chance, monkeylegs likes me better, and i'm cuter then you. 

Monkeylegs, if you off yourself can I please have your guns and mustang? I'll take super good care of them. Please 

[Monkeyleg]

It's so nice to have friends. I think I'll go listen to some Neil Young.

My wife has always liked him. No wonder she's depressed. Neil Young could make Tom Waites cry.

[CNYCacher]

Well looky-here, new female on board related foolishness.  And I almost missed it. 

I'm all in favor of marriage, even though my spouse ran off in the past year.  So did my dog. 

I miss my dog more.

Wouldn't mind trying out a wife, but not so much on a permanent basis.  Anyone want to lend me a wife for say, three weeks or so? 

I don't own three weeks worth of clothes and dishes.  How about one week?

[Fly320s]

Thanks a lot. Now I have a Neil Young song stuck in my head (video here), and the usual Neil-Young-driven urge to blow my brains out.

Dibs on the moccassins with lasers.

[Perd Hapley]

Fat chance, monkeylegs likes me better, and i'm cuter then you. 

Monkeylegs, if you off yourself can I please have your guns and mustang? I'll take super good care of them. Please 

No fair. You're usin' your feminine wiles. Makes a man sweaty and/or compliant.

[seeker_two]

Wouldn't mind trying out a wife, but not so much on a permanent basis.  Anyone want to lend me a wife for say, three weeks or so? 

Sorry...but I'm the only one in this room professional enough to handle my wife....

[BridgeRunner]

Sorry...but I'm the only one in this room professional enough to handle my wife....

So, this proceeds some horrific incident of marital discord, probably involving emergency rooms, yes?  I mean, wouldn't wish it on ye, but given the context...

[MrsSmith]

I don't own three weeks worth of clothes and dishes.  How about one week?

Oh CNYCacher, so typically male...
I suppose your wife must feel relatively confident given she has such amazing job security.

I have to say, it must be nice to have a wife. I'd like to have someone who washes and folds my clothes, does the grocery shopping, cooks my meals, cleans up the kitchen, makes sure the sheets and towels are always fresh and clean, makes sure I have shampoo and toothpaste and mountain dew, sweeps & vacuums the floors, dusts, bathes the dogs, balances the checkbook and pays the bills, handles all the kids complaints, gets the tax paperwork together, cleans up my messy office, fixes me a drink at the end of the day and rubs my back.

Where do you go to get one of those? Oh. Wait. That's me.

Don't they come in a six foot muscled male version?

[dogmush]

Oh CNYCacher, so typically male...
I suppose your wife must feel relatively confident given she has such amazing job security.

I have to say, it must be nice to have a wife. I'd like to have someone who washes and folds my clothes, does the grocery shopping, cooks my meals, cleans up the kitchen, makes sure the sheets and towels are always fresh and clean, makes sure I have shampoo and toothpaste and mountain dew, sweeps & vacuums the floors, dusts, bathes the dogs, balances the checkbook and pays the bills, handles all the kids complaints, gets the tax paperwork together, cleans up my messy office, fixes me a drink at the end of the day and rubs my back.

Where do you go to get one of those? Oh. Wait. That's me.

Don't they come in a six foot muscled male version?

Umm.....Yeah, that's not a wife, that's a maid.  Or maybe an indentured servant.  This is what wives do:

Organize the things you need to do into easy to follow lists, remind you of reality when you start thinking you're a little to cool, remember your families birthday's, anniversaries and what-not and tell you to send a card, describe every noise a car makes as a "weird thunk" then hold the cell phone up to a running engine, mention endlessly that the grass is too long then get mad when you turn off the sprinkler timer, only buy diet soda and remain convinced, despite years of evidence to the contrary that "you'll get used to the taste", insist that she has enough gas to reenact Top Gear's Africa trip because "the little light isn't on yet", insist that "Beer is Beer, why do we need to buy that Arrogant Bastard stuff when this Rolling Rock is so much cheaper", and generally make life worth living.

Hey Dogmush - can you post a pic of your new family member? The Dragoon? Love to see it.

Holy Crap!  I completely forgot to show off my new revolver.  It's the one on the top:

[seeker_two]

So, this proceeds some horrific incident of marital discord, probably involving emergency rooms, yes?  I mean, wouldn't wish it on ye, but given the context...

No physical injuries.....but my time working in mental health and being a member here has been quite helpful....