I'm not here to debate any kind of religious or moral values. Just to make an observation.
Back in 1970 or so, my now-wife and I stopped dating each other, and saw other people.
She quickly became friends with two gay guys in her senior class.
While she was in the process of becoming best friends with Doug and Gary, I had met a young woman who was at the time majoring in acting at the university.
And all of her male friends in her classes were mostly gay.
Now, Milwaukee has pretty much always had a reputation as a hick city, with nowhere near the sophistication of a Chicago, or even a Minneapolis. It's a reputation that's been well-earned.
So, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the disco nightclub in the early 1970's was The Factory, a gay bar just south of the Milwaukee downtown area.
And, given all of the above, it shouldn't surprise anyone that I spent a lot of time sitting at the bar in gay nightclubs, while my girlfriends were out dancing with gay guys.
I can't dance. The last time I tried, I sprained my ankle.
Whatever.
I now live in an area that I can best describe as city/suburb, and heavily liberal/Democrat. And very much homophobic.
The last time I talked about gay bars with my neighbor (Mark), he visibly shuddered. I mean, he actually shook like a dog coming in after a long walk in the rain.
It's not my style to get into somebody's face. Instead, I said to my neighbor, "Mark, every guy wonders if he might have some gay tendencies. Here's how to check it out: go to a gay bar, sit at the bar, and wait for some really good-looking guys to come up and hit on you. If you feel something moving in your pants, you may not be 100% hetero. Got it?"
Mark hasn't talked to me much since then.
My wife still goes to the gay bars with her gay friends and gay relatives a few times a year. And I feel safer knowing that she's with some guys, rather than out with girlfriends. Much less threat to our marriage, and maybe a little more protection for her from the bad guys. (OK, unless they're members of Pink Pistols, maybe not that much more protection).
I'm going somewhere with all this, but it's a difficult question to frame.
Why is it that women like my wife, who will unashamedly call herself a "fag hag," are accepted within the gay male culture?
By contrast, a couple of our friends are lesbians (or, as my wife and I have now come to term them, "Lebanese girls").
I've been in lesbian bars many times, and every time I was made to feel like David Duke touring the Cabrini Green projects in Chicago. I was surprised that I didn't get knifed.
I don't understand the split between gay males and lesbians, nor the acceptance of "fag hags" like my wife by gay males. It just doesn't make sense.
I also don't understand why the gay rights movement is allowing the "freaks" to lead the parade.
My wife has become very close to her gay uncle, and over the years he's become a close friend of mine. He's been active in the gay rights movement for years and years.
And, everytime there's going to be a Gay Rights parade scheduled, I tell him the same thing: "Howie, don't put the heavy-leather, S&M crowd at the front of the parade. It's where the news cameras are going to go."
I might as well be talking to a potato, because the guys in all weird manner of leather harnesses and other inexplicable gear are at the very front of the parade.
And that's what gets broadcast on TV. Just like the camouflaged guys with the "Nuke 'em all now, and let God sort it out" hats get the focus of the TV cameras at any gun event.
This has been another of my long, rambling posts. So let me summarize by asking: a). why do gay males accept hetero females into their culture? b) why are some, if not most, hetero guys afraid to confront their own sexuality? c) why are "Lebanese women" hostile toward seemingly everyone? d) why have the leaders of the gay rights movement not learned to keep the leather-bound crowd away from the cameras?
And, lastly, why should I care?
