"Hello? Hello? Are you there?"
"Who do you want to speak to? Oh, Mr. Skidmark - he's here right now, can I take a message?"[sic] (yes, there is a logical disconnect, not a dropped word there)
"I'm sorry, could you please speak up, I'm having difficulty hearing you."
"I'm sorry, would you please repeat that a bit louder, I am having trouble hearing you."
"Excuse me, could you please speak up without using the foreign accent?"
"Louder, please."
"Who did you say you were? .... Oh, I'm sorry, you're not here right now. Could I take a message?"
ad nauseum
My personal best went on for at least ten minutes and ended when I chastised "Ted" for yelling at me and told him I had to hang up because he had to go pee.
I know I'm going to hell for this stuff, but I don't care.
On the other hand, if I've already taken my meds for the day I just let the phone ring till the answering thingy kicks in, and delete all the messages at the end of the day.
stay safe.
skidmark